Long time no hear

Hi all. It's been quite a while since I last blogged. I have to be honest and say that I've not really known what to say. We're still waiting to hear about Jasmine and could get a call any day although it's starting to look like it might now be June-ish because many others have started to switch to this program from the traditional one. We've gotten turned down for a grant from Shaohannah's Hope which was a devastating blow and we're not allowed to re-apply. Another grant organization keeps putting us off each month so we're not at all certain that we are going to receive any help whatsoever, which is also discouraging. Additionally, our house has been on the market since August and we had yet another couple today choose another house over ours. This after having 2 showings on a day that both Jim & I were violently ill with the flu. Despite my best efforts, my body is run down and I'm having dizziness from all of the stress. I am completely and totally discouraged. Everyone keeps telling me how God miraculously provided for their adoptions and how we shouldn't worry 'cause God will provide for us too but I don't think I've heard about anyone sharing their struggles in getting to that provision. Are we the only ones who are struggling because all I've read about are the successes with every family seeming to keep the faith and have miracles happen. I just want to know that we aren't the only ones out there.

Since I'm getting things off of my chest, I'd also like to say that I continually wrestle with how much to say in my blog. I'm afraid that if I don't praise God in every other sentence, people will read this and judge where I'm at or not at in my faith. Sometimes it feels like it's better to say nothing than be completely honest with where things are at. The reality is that today is a tough day. God feels more like the hard place today than my rock. I am choosing to trust Him even though my feelings are completely opposite and I'm praying that God will help the rest of me to follow. I am trusting that despite all of these so called grant organizations out there who seem to give grants to everyone except us and the lousy housing market, that God will somehow provide our needs for this adoption. I am choosing to trust that He will somehow sell our house on this side of eternity so that we can finally get settled and actually downsize and simplify like he asked us to 7 months ago. I am choosing to trust that somehow soon we'll get a call that our precious little girl, Jasmine, is ready to be picked up and all of our financial needs are met so we can travel to China and get her. And ultimately, I am desperately choosing to trust that my faith will be strengthened on the other side of what feels like a nightmare right now.

To bring or not to bring...

Ok - so as we get closer to our match day, I've been agonizing over whether or not to bring Lily with us when we travel to China. I realize that I don't have to make a decision today but I honestly don't know what to do.

On the pro-side, I would love to have her there so that she can be a part of meeting Jasmine. I've always wanted her to be there as part of our family to meet her new sister. We've also been told that the little ones sometimes have an easier time bonding w/other children. I also worry that if we leave her behind, that emotionally she'll feel left out and abandoned.

On the con-side, it's an incredibly LONG trip to China and while she's handled short trips well, expecting her to handle a 18+ hour flight well is not realistic. And then there's the sleeping on the plane part of it. We would all need to sleep in order to get geared up for meeting Jasmine. It'll probably be hard enough for Jim & I to sleep but probably tougher for Lily. Then there's the medical issues. Lily's immune system is a lot stronger now but she's still prone to respiratory viruses/illness and China's health care is not top notch. We could definitely bring the equipment we'd need but if she needed medical care beyond that, it wouldn't be the best care. We would also need to be pretty flexible which is sometimes tough for Lily. And finally, we wouldn't be completely free to bond w/Jasmine unless we brought someone to just care for Lily and would likely experience the inevitable jealousy issues that naturally happen when a new sibling is introduced. That would lead to our increased stress level which would make it harder for Jasmine to attach, etc.

Hmmm...maybe this decision will be a little easier than I thought! My deepest concern for Lily is to not feel abandoned and we can keep in touch via Skype so we may be able to alleviate my deepest fears by video conferencing online every day while we're gone. Well, I may have gotten my answer and I'll continue to pray about that to get confirmation.

If any of you are in the same position, the thing to remember is that every family has to decide what will be right for their own kids and that there is no right and wrong answers. It really helped me to write out my pros and cons and I didn't even deal with the financial implications.

Some other things to consider - One of the main things that others have told us is the need to be flexible once there. Apparently time frames can change at any time and the trip is a lot more frustrating if you're not able to go with the flow. If your child(ren) have pretty rigid routines then be sure to weigh that in. We were also advised that if we did travel w/our daughter, to try and bring someone to help w/her so that when we're busy trying to attach w/our new baby, our daughter doesn't feel left out and there's someone there to focus just on her.

Well - I'll definitely keep you all posted on what we decide. Continue to pray for us on that decision!

Update on Jasmine!

Hi everyone! It's been a while since we updated you on what's been going on w/our China adoption so here goes!

Some of you may or may not know but this past summer we felt God laying on our heart to move to the "Waiting Child" program w/our China Adoption agency. Basically, this program includes all of the children who aren't "perfect" by society's standards. They are children who might be older in age or have medical issues. Our agency, after evaluating our home, put our file "in line" w/this program and we continue to stay "in line" with the regular program and we wait in both until one or the other calls with a match. We made this switch because we felt God leading us due to our past experience w/the precious little ones that we have had as foster parents. We've parented a number of babies w/medical issues due to drug exposure and felt that perhaps God had been leading us this way all along. Our daughter, Lily, who we adopted through foster care, also has experienced a variety of medical issues and developmental delays that we're continuing to work through. Regardless, this experience and a lot of prayer has been the framework through which we decided to move to this program. Our precious girl will most likely have some medical needs with regards to a cleft lip and/or cleft palatte and will be between 7 months and 2 years old. We have decided to give her the first name of "Jasmine" because she is a precious and beautiful flower as her soon-to-be older sister, Lily, is.

As a result of moving to this program, our time frame for our adoption has sped up from 3 to 7 years to 8 to 10 months! It's exciting because we'll be able to meet our precious Jasmine much sooner but scary because the time frame for raising the rest of our fees also rapidly decreases! Needless to say, we're scrambling to gather the rest of the money needed for our fees. In July of this past year we made the decision to try and sell our house so as to assist with those costs. With the market slowing down considerably, even in our area which has remained fairly steady, we are hoping that we'll be able to get it sold before our match which should occur sometime in February to May of 2009 time frame. Once again, this too is in God's hands and we are completely dependent upon Him.

Once we get our match, we should be traveling within 3 to 6 months to go bring her home! We will be sure to keep this blog updated as our match day gets closer and we'll be utilizing this blog and our Facebooks to keep you all informed as we travel in China to get Jasmine. We'll be posting information as well as pictures as soon as they become available!

Please be praying with us that our house will sell and for our family as we prepare for our new little one! Please be praying that God will help pull together the finances needed to finalize this adoption! Thank you all for your support and prayers and thanks be to God who continues to bestow His Amazing Grace and Love upon us although we don't deserve it!

Staying IN Business sale!

Hi everyone! Times are tough for everyone right now and 4-Ever Family is feeling the same pinch that you all are. So, we've decided to have a "Staying IN Business" sale and open house to help lower some of our inventory and help us weather these tough economic times. On Friday, Dec. 5 from 6:30-9 pm at our house, we're offering 25% off of all of our items! You can partake of delicious Holiday desserts while selecting items for your Christmas list! And, we'll be donating 10% of our profits to Children's Hope Chest so your purchase will make a difference!

We have a variety of parenting resources as well as books by Tom Davis, President of Children's Hope Chest, beautiful baby blankets and keepsakes, Scrapbooks, gorgeous picture frames and signature frames and a variety of Willowtree Figurines and Angels. Not to mention all of the products listed on our website! We really hope that you'll be able to come! You can rsvp to me at donna@4-everfamily.com and I'll send you directions!

Hope to see you there! Happy Thanksgiving and Merry CHRISTmas!

National Adoption Month...

Hi everyone! Just a reminder that November is National Adoption Month! There are approximately 129,000 foster children waiting for their forever family. Are you that family? Now's a great time to find out!

Here's a new video from Children's Hope Chest unveiling their new expansion into Ethiopia.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvRwo2oAmec

If adoption's not for you, there are a variety of quality organizations that you can sponsor orphaned children from. My top 3 are Compassion International, Children's Hope Chest & World Vision.

³⁴ “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. ³⁵ For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. ³⁶ I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’

³⁷ “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? ³⁸ Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? ³⁹ When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’

⁴⁰ “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters,^[f] you were doing it to me!’

Exploring adoption....

Well, it's been a little while since I last updated. I was talking w/a friend today and thought this would be a great topic for my blog. We were talking about how exploring adoption in the beginning can be overwhelming. I want to affirm that...it is overwhelming in the beginning. Deciding whether or not to adopt is overwhelming in and of itself and then you add in the "adopt from where" part of it. Domestic or international or foster adopt? Etc, etc. What I want to say to you, if you are in the beginning of your journey, to not worry if things feel a little overwhelming. Regardless of where you are, take the time to check out various types of adoption, read on adoption, talk to families who have adopted, pray, etc. Take your time and be thorough in your research. Adoption is and should be forever so approach it that way. God will make it clear to you if you're meant to adopt.

For those of you in the Colorado Springs area, there's an opportunity to check out foster adoption a little further. Focus on the Family has joined with the Colorado Division of Welfare and various adoption agencies and ministries to bring you "Wait No More." It will be held at New Life Church on Sat., 11/22/08 from 10-2pm. You can register at www.icareaboutorphans.org and if you register before 11/14, lunch is free and included. This is a fantastic way for you to hear more information about the 700 children who are waiting to be adopted from the foster care system in Colorado.

If you have found some resources that have been particularly helpful for you in exploring adoption, please feel free to share w/us! One of the most helpful resources for us was a seminar called "If You were Mine" that was put on by Family Life. It was about 4 hours or so and gave information on all types of adoption. It was a great first step for us and kind of got the ball rolling for our journey.