To bring or not to bring...

Ok - so as we get closer to our match day, I've been agonizing over whether or not to bring Lily with us when we travel to China. I realize that I don't have to make a decision today but I honestly don't know what to do.

On the pro-side, I would love to have her there so that she can be a part of meeting Jasmine. I've always wanted her to be there as part of our family to meet her new sister. We've also been told that the little ones sometimes have an easier time bonding w/other children. I also worry that if we leave her behind, that emotionally she'll feel left out and abandoned.

On the con-side, it's an incredibly LONG trip to China and while she's handled short trips well, expecting her to handle a 18+ hour flight well is not realistic. And then there's the sleeping on the plane part of it. We would all need to sleep in order to get geared up for meeting Jasmine. It'll probably be hard enough for Jim & I to sleep but probably tougher for Lily. Then there's the medical issues. Lily's immune system is a lot stronger now but she's still prone to respiratory viruses/illness and China's health care is not top notch. We could definitely bring the equipment we'd need but if she needed medical care beyond that, it wouldn't be the best care. We would also need to be pretty flexible which is sometimes tough for Lily. And finally, we wouldn't be completely free to bond w/Jasmine unless we brought someone to just care for Lily and would likely experience the inevitable jealousy issues that naturally happen when a new sibling is introduced. That would lead to our increased stress level which would make it harder for Jasmine to attach, etc.

Hmmm...maybe this decision will be a little easier than I thought! My deepest concern for Lily is to not feel abandoned and we can keep in touch via Skype so we may be able to alleviate my deepest fears by video conferencing online every day while we're gone. Well, I may have gotten my answer and I'll continue to pray about that to get confirmation.

If any of you are in the same position, the thing to remember is that every family has to decide what will be right for their own kids and that there is no right and wrong answers. It really helped me to write out my pros and cons and I didn't even deal with the financial implications.

Some other things to consider - One of the main things that others have told us is the need to be flexible once there. Apparently time frames can change at any time and the trip is a lot more frustrating if you're not able to go with the flow. If your child(ren) have pretty rigid routines then be sure to weigh that in. We were also advised that if we did travel w/our daughter, to try and bring someone to help w/her so that when we're busy trying to attach w/our new baby, our daughter doesn't feel left out and there's someone there to focus just on her.

Well - I'll definitely keep you all posted on what we decide. Continue to pray for us on that decision!