China update...

Well, we met w/our caseworker last night and good news.....she's signed off on us entering the waiting child program and we'll have approx. a 10-12 month wait on our China adoption! We're excited about this only because it'll allow us more time to raise the remainder of our adoption fees via grants and fundraisers. This will also give us a little more time to get ready ourselves, finish training, prepare Lily, etc.

One of the big decisions we've had to make is whether or not to bring Lily on the trip. We're trying to figure out that now because if we bring her, we need to get her passport going, etc. This has been a real wrestling match as to what to do. We are now pretty much leaning towards leaving her at home w/relatives. We landed on this decision because of the LONG flight there, the potential for her to pick up something while there (her immune system has been a little bit compromised since birth) and mostly because her routine would be incredibly off. She very much needs her routine and everything we've read says that the key to a successful trip is flexibility. Jim & I have no problem being flexible on our own but I think we would both be incredibly stressed out worrying about keeping her on a schedule which wouldn't be good for anyone. In addition to talking w/family and our caseworker, we also spoke w/Lily's pediatrician. In addition to the reasons above, they all pointed out that this will be hard enough trying to bond w/our new little daughter let alone adding in giving Lily attention. All thought that it would be a good idea to have that time to bond w/her before coming home. Obviously for each family, it's going to be different and you have to do what's right for your family and your kids. We would encourage you to talk w/other families, do research, seek wise council and ultimately land on what's best for your kids. We have spoken w/people who have brought their kids but also brought a relative or friend to help w/their children so that they could be free to bond w/their new child. If you've adopted internationally, tell us what you did. What made it successful or not and why? What would you do differently?