God is in the present

It's funny how we can go from, on one day, completely trusting God and then the very next day, having struggles with that trust. I am absolutely amazed that, no matter how many times God comes through for us, I still have those moments of wondering if this will be the time that He doesn't. Crazy, isn't it?!

At any rate, I had one of those moments yesterday. In the midst of that struggle and choosing to trust God despite "how I feel" or "how impossible things look", I was reading "Gone in a Heartbeat" by David & Marie Works. Some of you may have heard about the shootings that occurred at New Life Church almost 2 years ago. A guy named Matthew Murray had gone on a shooting spree at a YWAM location up in Denver and then drove down to Colorado Springs and started shooting at New Life Church. He was eventually shot and killed by one of the security guards at the church but not before he killed 2 girls - both from the same family. The book is written by their parents and their experience and then journey to healing. It's an incredible book and I highly recommend it, if you haven't read it.

At any rate, I wanted to share some of what I read as it was extremely impactful and eye opening for me. This is pages 151-152 and David (the father) is speaking to a group of people and sharing about something He's learning. He starts to talk about how, to Catholics, God is fully present in the eucharistic elements and that they look at communion as more literal.

He continues, "Now as protestants, we may not take it that far. However, Jesus is at least spiritually present in the Eucharist, or Communion, or whatever your tradition calls it. If you take that idea of God being present at the Lord's table and extend it to the rest of our living, then you can appreciate God being fully present in this present moment."

"This is an important idea, for after all, he is the 'I AM.' With God there really is no past or future, because He lives in eternity and has no beginning or ending. He always was, and always will be. Therefore, to him, there is only 'now.' And if we see Him now, in this present moment, then we can enter into an incredible place of peace and rest. We will realize His coming among us. John 1:14 tells how 'The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us.' He intends to dwell among us today, too. He is here in the very minutes and seconds of our lives."

"This concept had been growing in my mind ever since the Sunday-night-Monday-morning turnaround in the Hospital. I was coming to realize that I didn't need to organize everything all the time. I didn't need to try to run every show. God could well take care of that Himself, since He was right here, right now, right in each circumstance. Instead of trying to play God, I could just relax and play David. I was finding this to be wonderfully conducive to rest and peace. My anxiety levels were definitely lower. God was as present in my daily existance as He was in the midst of the most marvelous church service or personal prayer retreat in the mountains. His presence made each and every moment sacred-which, after all, is the root of the word sacrament."

"The words of Jesus in Matt. 11:28-30 mesmerized me, especially as rendered in "The Message paraphrase: "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me-watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything havy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly. How much better this was than to grind away in human exertion and self-doubt. To yield to God in the present moment was the key to relief and joy. I was fascinated with the word picture "the unforced rhythms of grace." God's grace did not need to be jammed into any preset mold. It would simply roll out in its own rhythm, a thing of beauty and joy."

He finishes with, "To believe that God is here in the present moment does not mean that we "feel" or sense Him all the time. Sometimes our antennae have no awareness that He is nearby. We have to go on faith alone. Regardless of our emotional state, the fact remains that God will lead us on whatever path is ours to travel. He is our Guide and Shepherd. We are safer in His care than we would ever be on our own. We can therefore trust Him with the outcomes of our lives."

Long quote, I know, but sooooo powerful! So I began to process this in my mind and I realized that God is in the present in our adoption. Our adoption is not in the future, for God, it's now. The money we need to complete it, is now. I need to let God be God and only worry about being Donna. That means that I do my part and let God do His. His part is bringing Jasmine home and all that entails. My part is getting ready for her by completing the paperwork, packing, purchasing whatever necessities for our trip, etc. I need to do my part and trust that God will do His. I don't have to do God's job! Sounds so "duh!", I know but it's such a relief! I get into this mode, without even thinking about it, and the next thing I know, I'm trying to do God's job as well as mine. No wonder I feel overwhelmed and everything feels impossible! But, if I can remember that God is in the present, therefore our adoption and all that entails, is also in the present and in His presence, I can have peace. God will do His part. Period.

I really wanted to share that with all two of you (ha-ha) that read our blog because perhaps one of you are going through something similar. Perhaps your circumstances feel bigger than you are able to handle and you feel overwhelmed. The good news is that regardless of your timing, it is in the present because God is in the present. Realize that you don't have to control it all. God will do his part, just focus on yours. Choose to believe that regardless of how you feel and trust God with the outcome.