The new "normal"

Hi everyone! I wanted to write about this for quite a while and I hope I'll be able to articulate it appropriately (and - no criticisms please). I do want to preface this by saying that adoption has been the BIGGEST blessing in our lives! Not only have we been privileged to adopt our precious little girl, Lily, and hopefully soon, Jasmine, as well, but we've also gotten to experience the extra layers of adoption like getting a better picture of being adopted into God's family. Having experienced the blessings and richness of adoption, I would NEVER change a thing, if given the chance. Not even the loss that we experienced to get to this place.

Loss. If I'm going to real, I need to say that PART of adoption is loss. That's something that a lot of people don't really think of when they think of adoption. Many of us gloss over the loss but it's very real. The baby or child's loss of their birth parents, birth family and/or caregivers. The birth parents, birth family and/or caregivers' loss. And many times, the adoptive families' loss...of a dream, of a child through death or miscarriage, loss of their adoptive child's losses. Loss. Loss of "normal." It seems like often in life, things need to be lost before new things can be found. Even God, gave up His precious son, Jesus, so that we could be adopted into His forever family. God experienced loss willingly so that we could have a new "normal" free from sin and death.

One of the things that has been hardest for Jim & I, in our family, has been finding a new "normal." For most of us adoptive families, it's something manifests itself everyday when we try to parent. We have to filter our child's behavior and figure out what's normal for them. For some, it comes up at medical appointments when they're trying to fill out medical history that they don't have. For others, it's birthdays and gotcha days. For others, it's helping their child do their "family tree" project for school. Loss is a part of our new normal and we have to figure out how to help our children grieve their losses as well. It's a tough balance to grieve the loss yet embrace the blessings. I have some days where I crave having a "normal" situation where my daughter hadn't been taken on the run and abandoned and therefore she's not afraid of being left again, she's just being 3. But, having grieved my losses, my cravings don't linger there. I've accepted that our family will always have a new "normal" and therefore I just need to focus on how to best come alongside of my daughter and love her in a way that God uses for healing.

The new "normal" in adoption is one of the toughest things that I've had to deal with but I have to say again, that I wouldn't change a thing! I like tough. My daughter was saved literally from death in a couple of miraculous ways. It was a really tough road to adopt her but to experience the victory on the other side of knowing that she's safe and loved has been amazing. And to see God's hand in all of the details, in a way I wouldn't have seen with just "normal".....priceless!

Horseback riding & expanding our horizons

So over the weekend, my husband had a wonderful idea. We've been wanting, for quite a while, to find activities that we can do together as a family. The problem is, we like very different things. Jim's been interested in golf, tennis and bowling. I'm interested in rollerblading, racewalking and volleyball. We hadn't yet found an activity in common that we were BOTH really interested in trying...until Saturday! Jim suggested horseback riding, which has been an interest of mine since I was a little girl. Lily is such an animal-lover that we knew that would be a no-brainer for her. So, after scouring the phone book, off we went, to try and find a farm that would give all 3 of us lessons. Lo and behold, we found one and had our first lesson on Sunday after church!

We met a number of Mischa's (our teacher) horses, including 2 orphaned filly's, 2 different litters of kittens and several dogs. We had a blast! She taught us how to approach the horse, basic safety, how to groom the horse, how to put on a harness and how to lead. Lily even got a few moments to ride bareback. Next lesson, we'll all get to ride which we all can't wait for! It was pure heaven to have Dixie (our mare teacher for the day) nuzzle my hair and watching Lily who looked like a natural - it felt like a fit for all of us. I have always wanted to be a family that had a "thing" that we all like to do together. It felt like God put this piece of the puzzle together for us and I'm really looking forward to seeing how it unfolds.

No other news on the adoption or our house. While waiting, I've been trying to do some research to track down some good children's books on China and Chinese culture so I can help prepare Lily for the trip, when that comes. Additionally, I've been trying to think through and research what types of toys to bring to help keep her occupied on the long flight, how to help her sleep on a plane, how to ease her through the transitions, etc. If anyone has any ideas that worked for them, please pass them on!

That's it for now - enjoy the pics and thanks again for all of the prayers!

Leak update

Hi everyone! It has been a gorgeous week, here in Colorado! We've still had some storms but these past few days have been almost perfect summer weather so we're extremely grateful.

Well, so far so good on our leak situation. The warranty company is no longer covering John Laing homes due to their bankruptcy so the owners hired a contractor to fix the area that was leaking. He's fairly certain that he found what was causing the issue and so the only things that remain are handling the carpet that had gotten some slight damage and another small fix which should keep this same issue from happening again. We still haven't had any news on the short sale approval but we're trusting God to work out the details in His perfect timing. The good news is that it's looking less and less like we'll need to move again (pending short sale approval, of course) so that is a huge relief! Now we just need to get the basement put back together so we can finish unpacking!

Thanks to anyone who responded to the Orphans Deserve Better petition! Fox news online actually had a story on this today! It was exciting to hear about all of the Adoption and foster care groups that joined together to bring our concerns to Warner Brothers. It's amazing to read all of those adoption stories on www.orphansdeservebetter.org So many of our lives have been forever changed due to the gift that Adoption brings. The losses that many of us suffered - God had a better plan for us. I am so thankful that He does not waste one single tear!

That's the end of the mini update for us. We hope you all have a terrific weekend and we'll talk again soon! Thanks so much for your prayers on our behalf.

Leaks and swim lessons

Hi everyone! Hope all of your summer's are going well. We're still slowly recovering but, as is always the case with us, never without some adventure of some kind. Our Saturn is in the shop and let's just say we're almost rebuilding the engine so...ouch! Thank God that this is happening when we don't have rent or mortgage payments but so much for catching up!

Our next adventure has involved our soon-to-be house. Once again, thank God for allowing this to happen before we've closed! We've had a TON of rain out here this summer which is awesome after many years of drought. We noticed Friday that an area underneath the stairs in the basement was wet and have since determined that we're getting water in from the rains. In fact, we had a pretty hysterical 4th of July w/my family here and us all hunkered down at the rec center while we had monsoon-like rains. Crazy! Leak-wise it's not good considering this house is only 3 years old! At any rate, the owners and their realtor are scrambling to try and have the house fixed under warranty. We could sure use your prayers as, if the water issue isn't addressed and fixed thoroughly, we could be looking for a new house. Please pray for wisdom and discernment in this process. We LOVE the house and the area and don't want to move but we're wanting to be wise. Our prayer is that if this house IS where God wants us, then either the owners or the warranty co. will fix the issue and then we can go to closing. Never a dull moment around here!

On the adoption end of things, we took our last training class almost 2 weeks ago! This one was optional but the quality of classes at CCAI has been through the roof so we wanted to take anything that was relevant. This class was on multi-child parenting and has really helped us make some decisions concerning taking Lily to China. I have to say that I was expecting this class to be more about how to parent several children AFTER we get back however it was about how to handle introducing your existing children to your new child and how to involve them in the adoption process. Excellent class! At any rate, we did discuss whether or not to bring Lily with us to China and the decision is.....we're bringing her! We've both wrestled and prayed about this for months but after discussions w/my dad and then this teacher, we felt God led us to this decision and we both feel extremely peaceful about it. This aspect (to bring or not to bring) really is a personal decision and each family really needs to base their decisions on their family situations. In our case, because Lily was adopted and had been abandoned in the beginning of her life, it's really important to make sure that she doesn't feel abandoned again.

So, while we wait, we continue to pray for Jasmine and look forward to the day that we get "the call." I guess the good news is that we have more time to prepare ourselves and now Lily for that long trip to China and all that we will encounter.

The same weekend as our training, our friend, Sabrina, came and stayed with us for the weekend and we had a blast! It was so great to re-connect with her and we're looking forward to having more weekends like that one! Please continue to pray for her safety in her family situation and that God would use us to plant some major spiritual seeds in her life.

On the fun side, we have really enjoyed taking advantage of the amenities at Meridian Ranch (our neighborhood). The pool/rec. center is really beautiful so we've tried to go swimming as often as the "monsoons" have allowed us, go for walks, play at the park, etc. That has been really wonderful. Today, Lily had her very first swimming lesson! It was quite exhilarating for me to watch her, with her float belt on, for the first time start swimming on her own! I got myself ready to jump in after her (despite the fact that the lifeguard was 2 feet away) but lo and behold, she stayed above water! That little turkey gave me quite the scare but it sure was fun to watch her! I'll take some pics. at tomorrow's lesson and post them soon.

Please continue to pray for us in our house (& car) situations! Additionally, Jim's employer is having to do some budget cuts so please be praying for us and the other employees during this time. They'll probably be making those decisions in the next couple of weeks so we appreciate your prayers in all of these things! Like I said, "never a dull moment around here!" I was reminded recently that for those of us who trust in the Lord, He promises to keep us in the palm of His hand for the rest of our days (wish I could remember the reference!). Thank God! We experienced that during our move and we are trusting Him for that in these current "adventures." Thanks for all of your support...we love you all!