Update on Jasmine!

Hi everyone! It's been a while since we updated you on what's been going on w/our China adoption so here goes!

Some of you may or may not know but this past summer we felt God laying on our heart to move to the "Waiting Child" program w/our China Adoption agency. Basically, this program includes all of the children who aren't "perfect" by society's standards. They are children who might be older in age or have medical issues. Our agency, after evaluating our home, put our file "in line" w/this program and we continue to stay "in line" with the regular program and we wait in both until one or the other calls with a match. We made this switch because we felt God leading us due to our past experience w/the precious little ones that we have had as foster parents. We've parented a number of babies w/medical issues due to drug exposure and felt that perhaps God had been leading us this way all along. Our daughter, Lily, who we adopted through foster care, also has experienced a variety of medical issues and developmental delays that we're continuing to work through. Regardless, this experience and a lot of prayer has been the framework through which we decided to move to this program. Our precious girl will most likely have some medical needs with regards to a cleft lip and/or cleft palatte and will be between 7 months and 2 years old. We have decided to give her the first name of "Jasmine" because she is a precious and beautiful flower as her soon-to-be older sister, Lily, is.

As a result of moving to this program, our time frame for our adoption has sped up from 3 to 7 years to 8 to 10 months! It's exciting because we'll be able to meet our precious Jasmine much sooner but scary because the time frame for raising the rest of our fees also rapidly decreases! Needless to say, we're scrambling to gather the rest of the money needed for our fees. In July of this past year we made the decision to try and sell our house so as to assist with those costs. With the market slowing down considerably, even in our area which has remained fairly steady, we are hoping that we'll be able to get it sold before our match which should occur sometime in February to May of 2009 time frame. Once again, this too is in God's hands and we are completely dependent upon Him.

Once we get our match, we should be traveling within 3 to 6 months to go bring her home! We will be sure to keep this blog updated as our match day gets closer and we'll be utilizing this blog and our Facebooks to keep you all informed as we travel in China to get Jasmine. We'll be posting information as well as pictures as soon as they become available!

Please be praying with us that our house will sell and for our family as we prepare for our new little one! Please be praying that God will help pull together the finances needed to finalize this adoption! Thank you all for your support and prayers and thanks be to God who continues to bestow His Amazing Grace and Love upon us although we don't deserve it!

Staying IN Business sale!

Hi everyone! Times are tough for everyone right now and 4-Ever Family is feeling the same pinch that you all are. So, we've decided to have a "Staying IN Business" sale and open house to help lower some of our inventory and help us weather these tough economic times. On Friday, Dec. 5 from 6:30-9 pm at our house, we're offering 25% off of all of our items! You can partake of delicious Holiday desserts while selecting items for your Christmas list! And, we'll be donating 10% of our profits to Children's Hope Chest so your purchase will make a difference!

We have a variety of parenting resources as well as books by Tom Davis, President of Children's Hope Chest, beautiful baby blankets and keepsakes, Scrapbooks, gorgeous picture frames and signature frames and a variety of Willowtree Figurines and Angels. Not to mention all of the products listed on our website! We really hope that you'll be able to come! You can rsvp to me at donna@4-everfamily.com and I'll send you directions!

Hope to see you there! Happy Thanksgiving and Merry CHRISTmas!

National Adoption Month...

Hi everyone! Just a reminder that November is National Adoption Month! There are approximately 129,000 foster children waiting for their forever family. Are you that family? Now's a great time to find out!

Here's a new video from Children's Hope Chest unveiling their new expansion into Ethiopia.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvRwo2oAmec

If adoption's not for you, there are a variety of quality organizations that you can sponsor orphaned children from. My top 3 are Compassion International, Children's Hope Chest & World Vision.

³⁴ “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. ³⁵ For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. ³⁶ I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’

³⁷ “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? ³⁸ Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? ³⁹ When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’

⁴⁰ “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters,^[f] you were doing it to me!’

Exploring adoption....

Well, it's been a little while since I last updated. I was talking w/a friend today and thought this would be a great topic for my blog. We were talking about how exploring adoption in the beginning can be overwhelming. I want to affirm that...it is overwhelming in the beginning. Deciding whether or not to adopt is overwhelming in and of itself and then you add in the "adopt from where" part of it. Domestic or international or foster adopt? Etc, etc. What I want to say to you, if you are in the beginning of your journey, to not worry if things feel a little overwhelming. Regardless of where you are, take the time to check out various types of adoption, read on adoption, talk to families who have adopted, pray, etc. Take your time and be thorough in your research. Adoption is and should be forever so approach it that way. God will make it clear to you if you're meant to adopt.

For those of you in the Colorado Springs area, there's an opportunity to check out foster adoption a little further. Focus on the Family has joined with the Colorado Division of Welfare and various adoption agencies and ministries to bring you "Wait No More." It will be held at New Life Church on Sat., 11/22/08 from 10-2pm. You can register at www.icareaboutorphans.org and if you register before 11/14, lunch is free and included. This is a fantastic way for you to hear more information about the 700 children who are waiting to be adopted from the foster care system in Colorado.

If you have found some resources that have been particularly helpful for you in exploring adoption, please feel free to share w/us! One of the most helpful resources for us was a seminar called "If You were Mine" that was put on by Family Life. It was about 4 hours or so and gave information on all types of adoption. It was a great first step for us and kind of got the ball rolling for our journey.

Why does Adoption cost so much?

I know...2 blogs in one day! It's a historic moment at the Young household! I've been trying to locate my college roommate and yesterday we got in touch after 14 years or so! What a day....I'm still flying high, Nance, after our conversation yesterday! At any rate, one thing we talked about was why does adoption cost so much money when there are kids who need families? Why are people profiting off of that? AWESOME question! My guess is that there are many others of you out there with the same concerns. I don't have all of the answers to this question but I do have some ideas.

First, many adoption agencies are non-profit so the fees that they charge are to cover the costs of staff and running the agency. Many agencies additionally offer a variety of services to their prospective families (training, counseling, post-adoption support, etc) and those fees help cover those costs. Additionally, governments (ours and other foreign governments) have fees for the services that they provide as well. Some agencies that handle international adoptions additionally give back to the international communities that they represent by funding orphanages, providing toys and supplies for the children and even training for orphanage workers.

If these fees are a concern for you there's a few things that you can do. First, you can explore becoming a foster/adopt parent. Foster adoption is less than $500 in most states. In our county, most of the fees were reimbursed back to us.

Second, if you are considering either domestic or international adoption, here's some questions that you can ask to get a better feel if this agency is for you:

1. Is the agency a not-for-profit organization?
2. How long has the agency been in existence and how long have they been providing adoption service?
3. How many children have they placed?
4. Are adoption qualifications clearly stated?
5. Does the packet explain all the basic steps and timeframe of the adoption process?
6. Does it provide an all-inclusive and straightforward list of adoption fees?
7. Will they provide a reference list?
8. If international, do they explain the risks of international adoption?
9. How many staff members do they have for their adoption program in the US and in whatever country(ies) they represent?
10. Are they Hague Accredited? An adoption agency must receive the Hague Accreditation to provide adoption services under The Hague Convention on Protection of Children and Co-Operation in Respect of Inter-country Adoption. You need to absolutely make sure that the agency you are to select is Hague accredited. To verify an agency’s accreditation status, you can visit http://travel.state.gov/family/adoption/convention.

In addition, you might want to ask: Have they had any lawsuits? Are there any complaints filed against them through the state licensing agency or Better Business Bureau?

Finally, regardless of your financial status, you should be absolutely sure how much this adoption is going to cost you, including agency fees, government fees, orphanage donation/fees, and your travel and accommodations expenses. No agency can control the rise of government fees, such as fingerprinting, or the price of an airline ticket twelve months from now, but a good estimate is not difficult. Ask questions and learn the differences in agencies’ service. Be a picky and smart customer. Remember, it is your money.

An agency’s fees should not change unpredictably. While an agency has all the right to say that “Fees are subject to change without notice,” it is your right to ask what that means. Many agencies will now lock in your fee amount as soon as you sign a fee agreement. You want to work with an agency that does not have last-minute surprises or hidden charges.

If for some reason the adoption does not work out, an adoptive family is entitled to a refund. An adoption agency is obligated to make the refund policy available from the very beginning. Service fees should not be paid unless the agency is ready to serve and the adoptive family is ready to be served.

The willingness to refund unused adoption fees is a sign of a good agency. As long as the motive for requesting a refund is reasonable and there is still un-spent money in the family’s case account, that money should be refunded timely. No one wishes for a failed adoption, and no one can predict tomorrow. Sometimes things beyond your control do happen and force you to terminate or postpone your adoption process. So to protect yourself and your rights, make sure you understand the power and limitations of an agency’s refund policy.

(excerpts taken from "Eight Things to Know Before Selecting a China Adoption Agency" By Rev. Joshua Zhong)

The bottom line is to make sure that you get your questions answered to your satisfaction so that you can make an educated, thorough decision. Hope this is helpful. Feel free to share questions that were helpful to your family in your adoption process.

We're moving...

Ok, its been forever since I last posted. I have to say I really struggle w/how much to say on these things. I'm hopeful that what I share will be helpful to someone else but also worry about offending people. I guess that's the people-pleaser in me. Well, today I'm going to take a bit of a risk and share our latest adventure. We've decided to put our house on the market and downsize and simplify. I know.....we're adding to our family but we're downsizing? I think this has been 3 years in the making but neither one of us was ready at the same time until about 1 1/2 months ago. What really led to this was a series our church was doing on the 10 Commandments. The whole series was seriously, soul-changing (thanks Ron & Ryan!) but the week in particular that got us was a message on loving your neighbor. The bottom line that Jim & I came to was that we were too busy fixing up our house to even have time to love our neighbors and that our house had become an idol for us. We both decided that we would downsize and simplify because there are too many other things in this life that are far more important than a big house in a great neighborhood. It may seem radical to some but I can't even describe the peace that swept over both of us in thinking of getting rid of our idol and simplifying!

I'm not at all sharing this to brag or make us out to be some kind of spiritual giant. I wanted to share this because perhaps God is calling you to lay down something that you have made more important than Him. If so, I want to encourage you to go for it. The ways that God will bless you will far outnumber whatever you're laying down. For us, we'll have more quantity and quality time w/our daughter & future daughter and for our business as well as for our new neighbors. We'll be able to focus on what's most important and quite frankly, I just can't wait!