Waiting during trials

It's a constant source of awe and amazement for me at how God meets our deepest needs during some of the toughest times in our lives.  How trials can become treasures.  How He uses others to come alongside of us.  How His scriptures are continuously ministering to us in a variety of circumstances and how we can walk into a service with thousands of other people and have that very message sooth our soul and ease our fears.  I feel so blessed to know with my whole heart that God loves me and, despite all of the many things I do wrong on a daily basis, He doesn't withhold one ounce of his love or forgiveness or blessing from my life.  Believe or not, I see this fact the most clearly when I have gone or am going through difficult trials.  I saw His incredible love & healing POUR out on us when we left our old church.  Every week, every song, every message was as if they were all meant for us personally.  Then a few months later when we learned we were matched with our forever daughter, Jasmine, God once again poured out His love and reassurance and provision for our adoption.  Every dime provided for by the time we were home, every detail taken care of.  I went through an extended time of post adoption depression that God graced me and my family through, the loss of my precious lab that has been my rock and comfort for the last 9 years and 2 lay-offs that God allowed us to be spared from.  In each trial, God was present, arms open, filling us with peace and love and healing.  Each time has brought us closer to Him, growing our character and our faith.  The latest trial, the possibility of having cancer, has given me the most amazing time of just being held in God's hands while I wait for the results of my biopsies.  I can't even begin to describe how precious this time has been, knowing that in the next few days, I could be getting a call that will change my life forever or I could get good news...either way, KNOWING that I am safely in God's arms and that He will take care of every detail.  It's been an incredible time of waiting....feeling yourself in God's hands and not wanting to disturb the feeling of being in that zone, keeping your eyes focused on Him and just waiting.  And those times when I've been overwhelmed with the shock, feeling Him reminding me that He holds it ALL and He has conquered it ALL, even cancer, if it comes down to that.  I am so humbled that the God of the universe would take so much time to reassure me that He is here with me and that He will not let me go!  Even if my news turns out to be cancer, I wouldn't trade this precious waiting in God's arms for ANYTHING! 

What are you waiting on God for?  Maybe you just need to rest in His arms while you wait and trust that He holds it all.  This song by New Life called "Greater" has really ministered to me these past few weeks while I've been waiting and I wanted to share them.

"Find rest my soul
Confess you're weary
Surrender all
Embrace your healing

I will cast my cares
You have always cared

You are greater
Greater than the fight
That rages for my life
I have found my rest is in
You are brighter
Breaking through the night
Lighting up my sight
I have seen my rest is in You

Find hope my soul
You know He's with you
My Savior God
Still I will praise You

His yoke is easy
His burden is light
I have decided
I'm gonna fix my eyes
On the perfecter the author of my faith
Jesus Christ"

"Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God." (Psalm 42:11)  Friends and family will fail you, stuff breaks, but God is the ONE, true hope!

"God Be Praised"

"This I Know"

Base Camp worship time (see below)

Austin

Hi everyone. It's been a few months since I last posted so I thought I'd try and give you all an update! Lily graduated from preschool in May and will be entering kindergarten in the fall! She also graduated from her "food class" and has been trying all kinds of new foods using the skills she was taught so that has been wonderful. She also got a chance to go to camp at church this summer and not only did she get to learn more about God, play games and have amazing worship, but the kids (K-6) got to make over 31,000 meals for orphans, give $1600 to help w/the meals, made 59 blankets for the homeless and packed 250 backpacks w/school supplies for the low income kiddos in the city! Who said that kids can't make a difference?!

We've also been enjoying our summer, playing outside, hitting the park and pool as often as we can. Both girls love going to the library so we continue to load up on books every couple of weeks and read them whenever we can. Jasmine's still into everything and seems to get faster every day. She and Lily love being together and playing together, although they do have some normal sister moments as well.

Our house guest moved out back in April right before my surgery, I think. She's found a job, a car and a little apartment and is doing well for the most part. It was really neat to see God provide for her and her little daughter.

I had my knee surgery mid-April and that turned out to be quite the miraculous experience. I feel blessed because I've seen a few miracles in the past couple of years and this was no exception. My MRI back in Jan. showed pretty extensive damage to my ACL, cartilage, tissue and some arthritis as well. Jim & I had been asking for prayer from our small group and the ministry teams at church for healing for my knee right up until the surgery. My surgeon told Jim that my knee looked great and that the cartilage was "healing itself." There was no sign of the arthritis or any other tissue damage....everything was in fantastic condition except for my ACL which they were able to repair with no issues. He said I would make a full recovery and that has been true. My knee has been doing great and I'm almost ready to be discharged from physical therapy. BTW, in case you didn't know, cartilage doesn't "heal itself." I wonder who did that?! ;-)

We also had the chance to go on a much needed vacation to Austin, TX back in May after school ended. Why, Austin? Funny you should ask! The purpose of our trip was two-fold. One, to get a much needed (but affordable) vacation and the second was to check out the city as we've been feeling like God might be moving us there. I've held off posting anything about this because we've been praying and feeling led for a while that God was leading us up to a big change but until a few months ago, we weren't really sure what or where that was. We are continuing to pray that through but thought that if we could get a little rest and affordable relaxation while checking things out, maybe we'd get some further insight as to where God was leading us. The best thing, for me, about our trip was seeing God in all of the details from providing financially for us to go, to the route we took and everything in between. I LOVE that God loves to be in the tiniest of details in our lives! How many times do we go throughout life and miss those little details and nuances that add layers of joy to whatever we're going through because we realize that God cares to the tiniest degree? People might think I'm nuts but I don't want to miss those details!!!

So our trip started out with us praying about God helping us to pay cash for a vacation and wouldn't you know it but within a few days, God had given us all kinds of ideas and reminded me to check some different hotel rewards cards for free nights. We ended up w/3 free nights of hotels and an all cash, driving vacation! Yea God! We spent time plotting a route through KS and OK through AAA and a few days before we left, a friend who's from Austin, gave us a different route to go. We decided to go for it and boy am I glad we did! It saved us 1 1/2 hours of driving time each way AND it kept us out of Oklahoma City which ended up having a huge tornado hit the day before we would have arrived. Once again, God provides!

The girls did great on the trip. We hit a few garage sales before the trip and bought some inexpensive little toys and books and things for them to do in the car. Between that, movies, books on tape and stops every 2 hours, they did amazingly well. Jim & I had some great conversations about his career and we continued to talk and pray about whether God is leading us to Austin or not. Once there, we had a great time checking out different neighborhoods, while finding some beautiful parks and pools to take the girls to. We also were able to go to a famous waterpark nearby called the Schlitterbahn as well as check out Sea World in San Antonio a few days later. Jim got a chance to talk w/one of the former pastors of our church that planted a church down in Austin last year and chat about his journey to Austin. I was able to chat w/a precious friend that recently moved back to TX about 1 1/2 hours from where we were. All in all it was a wonderful trip and we can't wait to see what and where God leads!

Since we've been home, we've seen God affirm us moving to Austin (in a variety of ways) but are waiting for Him to open some very large doors (i.e. job and renting &/or leasing our home) before we make any solid plans. We are trusting Him to blow open the doors if we're meant to go or else keep them solidly shut, if we're not. We just desire to be wherever He wants us because His plans are always way better than ours! We appreciate your prayers for us during this time. This is potentially a HUGE change for our family and we don't want to do anything that God doesn't want us to do. We love you all and hope to have more information for you soon!

2011

Hi everyone. I'm sorry that it's been such a long time since I last blogged. We had a LONG, tough year last year and had to put blogging on hold while we worked on our family. Adjusting to a new child and dealing with Lily having her own adjustment issues has been rough but God has been faithful. And we began this year on a sad note as my precious lab, Jake, died from a nasty disease called Myasenthia Gravis. He was my baby and my best friend and losing him was absolutely devastating. In everything that we've been through over this last year, God has been faithful and steady and loving and I can't imagine life without Him!

Lily turned 5 at the end of September and is finishing her last year of preschool. After a lot of prayer, we were able to choice her into a different school called Chinook Trail Elementary School in a different district. We're really excited about this for her because it has an international focus and when she starts kindergarten next year, she'll also be able to learn Mandarin Chinese!

Jasmine turned 2 at the beginning of January and is as feisty and spicey as ever. She's got a very curious mind and is into everything. She and Lily seemed to have developed the typical sister relationship - they fight and play well together. Jasmine might be tiny but she can sure hold her own against her big sister.

We are still LOVING our new church and have become members in the last year. We joined a small group last fall and have fallen in love with every last one of them. There's about 13 couples in this small group and they can eat, pray and laugh like no one's business! We have SO appreciated getting to know them and have felt so right at home. We've been studying Revelation which is a book I've always wanted to study and it has been FASCINATING!

We haven't yet gotten involved w/any of the ministries there due to adjusting as a family and our kiddos still being so young but hope to in the near future. We did get to attend a taping of their latest worship album, which is due to be released April 12. The video to the left of this blog is one of the songs we recorded that night and has become one of our favorites. We're just so thankful that God continues to go deep in our church and in us. I'm so thankful that He NEVER gives up on us, aren't you?

We've also recently taken in a friend and her baby, who were in a very tough situation. That has definitely upset what was becoming the equilibrium in our home so we're back to working on some issues with the girls and would really appreciate your prayers. Our friend has really seen God do some HUGE things since she moved here so we're extremely thankful. He's put a TON of things into place for her and now the only things that remain are a car and a job. We'd appreciate your prayers for her on these last few pieces.

And, as if we don't have enough going on, last December, in the midst of Jake being sick, I hurt my knee playing volleyball. As it turned out, I tore my ACL and damaged some of the cartilage in my left knee. I'm scheduled to have surgery on April 12th and would appreciate your prayers. This is actually my 2nd ACL and my 4th surgery on this knee but I always get nervous about going under anesthesia.

As far as Jim and I go, we're continuing to trust God to guide and direct our family and to continue to heal us and provide for us. It's been an incredible year but God is greater than the stuff in this world and we can't wait to see what adventure He's preparing for us next!