4-Ever Family

Waiting during trials

2011-10-23T21:15:00.000-06:00

It's a constant source of awe and amazement for me at how God meets our deepest needs during some of the toughest times in our lives. How trials can become treasures. How He uses others to come alongside of us. How His scriptures are continuously ministering to us in a variety of circumstances and how we can walk into a service with thousands of other people and have that very message sooth our soul and ease our fears. I feel so blessed to know with my whole heart that God loves me and, despite all of the many things I do wrong on a daily basis, He doesn't withhold one ounce of his love or forgiveness or blessing from my life. Believe or not, I see this fact the most clearly when I have gone or am going through difficult trials. I saw His incredible love & healing POUR out on us when we left our old church. Every week, every song, every message was as if they were all meant for us personally. Then a few months later when we learned we were matched with our forever daughter, Jasmine, God once again poured out His love and reassurance and provision for our adoption. Every dime provided for by the time we were home, every detail taken care of. I went through an extended time of post adoption depression that God graced me and my family through, the loss of my precious lab that has been my rock and comfort for the last 9 years and 2 lay-offs that God allowed us to be spared from. In each trial, God was present, arms open, filling us with peace and love and healing. Each time has brought us closer to Him, growing our character and our faith. The latest trial, the possibility of having cancer, has given me the most amazing time of just being held in God's hands while I wait for the results of my biopsies. I can't even begin to describe how precious this time has been, knowing that in the next few days, I could be getting a call that will change my life forever or I could get good news...either way, KNOWING that I am safely in God's arms and that He will take care of every detail. It's been an incredible time of waiting....feeling yourself in God's hands and not wanting to disturb the feeling of being in that zone, keeping your eyes focused on Him and just waiting. And those times when I've been overwhelmed with the shock, feeling Him reminding me that He holds it ALL and He has conquered it ALL, even cancer, if it comes down to that. I am so humbled that the God of the universe would take so much time to reassure me that He is here with me and that He will not let me go! Even if my news turns out to be cancer, I wouldn't trade this precious waiting in God's arms for ANYTHING!

What are you waiting on God for? Maybe you just need to rest in His arms while you wait and trust that He holds it all. This song by New Life called "Greater" has really ministered to me these past few weeks while I've been waiting and I wanted to share them.

"Find rest my soul
Confess you're weary
Surrender all
Embrace your healing

I will cast my cares
You have always cared

You are greater
Greater than the fight
That rages for my life
I have found my rest is in
You are brighter
Breaking through the night
Lighting up my sight
I have seen my rest is in You

Find hope my soul
You know He's with you
My Savior God
Still I will praise You

His yoke is easy
His burden is light
I have decided
I'm gonna fix my eyes
On the perfecter the author of my faith
Jesus Christ"

"Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God." (Psalm 42:11) Friends and family will fail you, stuff breaks, but God is the ONE, true hope!

"God Be Praised"

2011-07-13T20:41:00.001-06:00

"This I Know"

2011-07-13T20:22:00.000-06:00

Base Camp worship time (see below)

2011-07-10T21:57:00.001-06:00

Austin

2011-07-10T21:25:00.002-06:00

Hi everyone. It's been a few months since I last posted so I thought I'd try and give you all an update! Lily graduated from preschool in May and will be entering kindergarten in the fall! She also graduated from her "food class" and has been trying all kinds of new foods using the skills she was taught so that has been wonderful. She also got a chance to go to camp at church this summer and not only did she get to learn more about God, play games and have amazing worship, but the kids (K-6) got to make over 31,000 meals for orphans, give $1600 to help w/the meals, made 59 blankets for the homeless and packed 250 backpacks w/school supplies for the low income kiddos in the city! Who said that kids can't make a difference?!

We've also been enjoying our summer, playing outside, hitting the park and pool as often as we can. Both girls love going to the library so we continue to load up on books every couple of weeks and read them whenever we can. Jasmine's still into everything and seems to get faster every day. She and Lily love being together and playing together, although they do have some normal sister moments as well.

Our house guest moved out back in April right before my surgery, I think. She's found a job, a car and a little apartment and is doing well for the most part. It was really neat to see God provide for her and her little daughter.

I had my knee surgery mid-April and that turned out to be quite the miraculous experience. I feel blessed because I've seen a few miracles in the past couple of years and this was no exception. My MRI back in Jan. showed pretty extensive damage to my ACL, cartilage, tissue and some arthritis as well. Jim & I had been asking for prayer from our small group and the ministry teams at church for healing for my knee right up until the surgery. My surgeon told Jim that my knee looked great and that the cartilage was "healing itself." There was no sign of the arthritis or any other tissue damage....everything was in fantastic condition except for my ACL which they were able to repair with no issues. He said I would make a full recovery and that has been true. My knee has been doing great and I'm almost ready to be discharged from physical therapy. BTW, in case you didn't know, cartilage doesn't "heal itself." I wonder who did that?! ;-)

We also had the chance to go on a much needed vacation to Austin, TX back in May after school ended. Why, Austin? Funny you should ask! The purpose of our trip was two-fold. One, to get a much needed (but affordable) vacation and the second was to check out the city as we've been feeling like God might be moving us there. I've held off posting anything about this because we've been praying and feeling led for a while that God was leading us up to a big change but until a few months ago, we weren't really sure what or where that was. We are continuing to pray that through but thought that if we could get a little rest and affordable relaxation while checking things out, maybe we'd get some further insight as to where God was leading us. The best thing, for me, about our trip was seeing God in all of the details from providing financially for us to go, to the route we took and everything in between. I LOVE that God loves to be in the tiniest of details in our lives! How many times do we go throughout life and miss those little details and nuances that add layers of joy to whatever we're going through because we realize that God cares to the tiniest degree? People might think I'm nuts but I don't want to miss those details!!!

So our trip started out with us praying about God helping us to pay cash for a vacation and wouldn't you know it but within a few days, God had given us all kinds of ideas and reminded me to check some different hotel rewards cards for free nights. We ended up w/3 free nights of hotels and an all cash, driving vacation! Yea God! We spent time plotting a route through KS and OK through AAA and a few days before we left, a friend who's from Austin, gave us a different route to go. We decided to go for it and boy am I glad we did! It saved us 1 1/2 hours of driving time each way AND it kept us out of Oklahoma City which ended up having a huge tornado hit the day before we would have arrived. Once again, God provides!

The girls did great on the trip. We hit a few garage sales before the trip and bought some inexpensive little toys and books and things for them to do in the car. Between that, movies, books on tape and stops every 2 hours, they did amazingly well. Jim & I had some great conversations about his career and we continued to talk and pray about whether God is leading us to Austin or not. Once there, we had a great time checking out different neighborhoods, while finding some beautiful parks and pools to take the girls to. We also were able to go to a famous waterpark nearby called the Schlitterbahn as well as check out Sea World in San Antonio a few days later. Jim got a chance to talk w/one of the former pastors of our church that planted a church down in Austin last year and chat about his journey to Austin. I was able to chat w/a precious friend that recently moved back to TX about 1 1/2 hours from where we were. All in all it was a wonderful trip and we can't wait to see what and where God leads!

Since we've been home, we've seen God affirm us moving to Austin (in a variety of ways) but are waiting for Him to open some very large doors (i.e. job and renting &/or leasing our home) before we make any solid plans. We are trusting Him to blow open the doors if we're meant to go or else keep them solidly shut, if we're not. We just desire to be wherever He wants us because His plans are always way better than ours! We appreciate your prayers for us during this time. This is potentially a HUGE change for our family and we don't want to do anything that God doesn't want us to do. We love you all and hope to have more information for you soon!

2011

2011-03-30T21:08:00.000-06:00

Hi everyone. I'm sorry that it's been such a long time since I last blogged. We had a LONG, tough year last year and had to put blogging on hold while we worked on our family. Adjusting to a new child and dealing with Lily having her own adjustment issues has been rough but God has been faithful. And we began this year on a sad note as my precious lab, Jake, died from a nasty disease called Myasenthia Gravis. He was my baby and my best friend and losing him was absolutely devastating. In everything that we've been through over this last year, God has been faithful and steady and loving and I can't imagine life without Him!

Lily turned 5 at the end of September and is finishing her last year of preschool. After a lot of prayer, we were able to choice her into a different school called Chinook Trail Elementary School in a different district. We're really excited about this for her because it has an international focus and when she starts kindergarten next year, she'll also be able to learn Mandarin Chinese!

Jasmine turned 2 at the beginning of January and is as feisty and spicey as ever. She's got a very curious mind and is into everything. She and Lily seemed to have developed the typical sister relationship - they fight and play well together. Jasmine might be tiny but she can sure hold her own against her big sister.

We are still LOVING our new church and have become members in the last year. We joined a small group last fall and have fallen in love with every last one of them. There's about 13 couples in this small group and they can eat, pray and laugh like no one's business! We have SO appreciated getting to know them and have felt so right at home. We've been studying Revelation which is a book I've always wanted to study and it has been FASCINATING!

We haven't yet gotten involved w/any of the ministries there due to adjusting as a family and our kiddos still being so young but hope to in the near future. We did get to attend a taping of their latest worship album, which is due to be released April 12. The video to the left of this blog is one of the songs we recorded that night and has become one of our favorites. We're just so thankful that God continues to go deep in our church and in us. I'm so thankful that He NEVER gives up on us, aren't you?

We've also recently taken in a friend and her baby, who were in a very tough situation. That has definitely upset what was becoming the equilibrium in our home so we're back to working on some issues with the girls and would really appreciate your prayers. Our friend has really seen God do some HUGE things since she moved here so we're extremely thankful. He's put a TON of things into place for her and now the only things that remain are a car and a job. We'd appreciate your prayers for her on these last few pieces.

And, as if we don't have enough going on, last December, in the midst of Jake being sick, I hurt my knee playing volleyball. As it turned out, I tore my ACL and damaged some of the cartilage in my left knee. I'm scheduled to have surgery on April 12th and would appreciate your prayers. This is actually my 2nd ACL and my 4th surgery on this knee but I always get nervous about going under anesthesia.

As far as Jim and I go, we're continuing to trust God to guide and direct our family and to continue to heal us and provide for us. It's been an incredible year but God is greater than the stuff in this world and we can't wait to see what adventure He's preparing for us next!

Day 3

2010-07-22T22:15:00.000-06:00

The fun thing about God is that each day brings new adventures and surprises. Today as I tried to connect w/the depth of God's love, I found it in a friend and time w/my children. My friend is a brand-new Christian and come to find out, in our conversation today, that we're both looking to make the most of the time we have w/our kiddos. We decided today to hold each other accountable and I think she's going to join me in this 40 day challenge. Isn't it just like God to bring you a workout partner for the things you're most wrestling with?!

The most precious, though, today, was experiencing God's love through my girls. I've been feeling dehydrated all day, despite a large intake of fluids, and ended up w/a migraine that hit around dinner time. Jim took care of the girls while I laid down and my precious Lily came in and covered me w/one of her dolly blankets so she could make my headache "happy so it will go away." How precious is that?! I just marveled at my precious girl's little heart and her desire for me to feel better and thanked God for the privilege of being her mama. My other moment was with Jasmine and going into her room to get her back to sleep tonight. I just stood there for about 10 minutes and gently stroked her sweet, soft face to help get her back to sleep. I smiled down at her trying not to close her eyes and just melted as she gave me the most precious little smiles. God is so good to give me such precious girls. I couldn't help but think about the lyrics to "How He Loves" by David Crowder.

"He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all

Yeah, He loves us,
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves.

We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
And Heaven meets earth like an unforseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way He Loves"

I can't wait to see what Day 4 brings.

Update on the girls

2010-07-22T09:03:00.000-06:00

Hi everyone! In the midst of me doing my own 40 day challenge to journal God's love going deep in my heart, it occurred to me that it's been a while since I've updated on the girls. Both girls are doing really well. Lily completed the "Eel" swimming class at the rec center and will be ready for the next level in swimming. She's really come a long way in getting more comfortable in the water. She's still using a swim belt but has been holding her breath under water and jumping into the water, which is huge for her. We've got her signed up for a soccer class which will start the end of August, that she's really excited about. We've been trying to slowly introduce her to different sports and activities over the last year (only 1 at a time) to see what kinds of things she would enjoy doing. Last year it was swimming, gymnastics and ballet. This year we're trying soccer. She starts school 8/9 already and will do 1 more year of preschool. She's been really starting to show more of an interest in Jesus and has started asking more questions about God both at home and at church. We've been thrilled with the children's ministry at our church and have been excited to see her begin to grow more in her faith. She still has moments of grieving over her birth mom and we continue to support that process as we know what it's like to lose a loved one and have God bring healing from that loss. People always focus on the good parts of adoption but often skip over the tough stuff - like the grieving & loss that is very much a part of adoption. We have found, through the loss of our baby via miscarriage that grieving that loss was not only healthy and brought us healing and closure but it also brought us to a place of being open to God's plan for our lives. We never would have adopted if we wouldn't have grieved that loss. Thank God for His healing and His plan for our lives because now we have 2 of the most amazing little girls! We pray for that same healing for Lily and trust God to make all things new and bring good out of the loss.

As for Jasmine, she's walking more and more! She's still pretty tiny, so it's a trip to see her stumble around on those bitty legs. I'll try and get some footage to post soon. She, like the rest of our family, LOVES music and is fascinated w/the touch/feel books we have. She is curious about everything and so we've had to make sure that everything is as baby-proofed as possible. She is either ridiculously cute when she smiles and laughs or crazy annoying when she whines so we might just have another feeler in the family. Poor Jim! 3 feelers! She's started to say "Up", "Ball", "Dog", "hi", "Bye" along w/ "mama" and "dada". She still shrieks alot but it seems to be decreasing as she's learned some words so perhaps that's been her communication up 'til now. She also loves the water in the pool and has a fantastic time splashing. She's starting to do a little kicking as well when Jim or I take her in the deeper water.

This summer hasn't been as fun as last summer but we've still been able to get to the pool as a family and do a few things here and there. We're continuing to wait and see what happens w/Jim's job and will hopefully know more in the next several weeks. Either way, we're trusting God to take care of us and lead us to where He wants us. We're still incredibly thankful for our church and how God has used them in our lives. It's hard to believe that almost a year ago, our lives were turned upside down but God has been SO GOOD! He provided for our adoption through so many of you and has brought us so much healing and overwhelmed us with His love that we are often in tears. God is so good and we are so incredibly thankful for all that He has done for us and in us in this last year especially. I wouldn't trade this last year in for anything! Thank you for walking with us and we can't wait to see what God has in store for us next!

Day 1 & 2

2010-07-22T08:26:00.001-06:00

So Day 1 was an interesting day. It was a tough day w/the girls acting out and it really seemed like the enemy was doing whatever he could to distract me. Fortunately, it didn't work but it did make things tough to focus on. My goal was to see if I can open my heart enough in my every day life "so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." I want my spiritual life and every day life to collide on a deeper level. I want to see my belief that God loves me pervade every aspect of my day-to-day activities and see my heart change and go deep w/this "unknowable" knowledge.

So on day 1, I found myself wondering throughout the day, how this change in my heart would look. Would I be more loving, more attentive to my friends & family? Will I be more at ease & less critical w/myself? How will this affect how I interact w/my children? How does the grasp of "how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ".....how does that look in day-to-day life? I didn't come to any answers that day but I must say that being able to reflect on this scripture and aspect of God really did pervade my day and had me really thinking about my every action & reaction. I especially thought about my precious girls and that if I could get this down in my everyday little stuff, hopefully my girls will begin to get how God is in the details of their lives. Next to my relationship w/God and my husband, my girls are the most important thing in my life. I want my girls to fall in love w/Jesus and not just grow up to be Sunday-go-to-church Christians but instead become women who live every moment serving and loving Jesus and impact the people around them because of that love. I want to see them live out their faith and not just proclaim it w/words. So how can I model that for them and what does that look like?

That evening a friend posted a chart on facebook that was comparing "Super mom" and "Abiding mom". A handful of the points were:

Super Mom Abiding Mom
Does Is
Tries to impress others Pleases the Lord
Is controlled by an agenda Is controlled by the Holy Spirit
She teaches her kids to be good She teaches her kids to be Godly
She does things w/her children She builds a relationship w/her children

There were quite a few others along w/scripture but these were ones that most impacted me. Without getting off point, one road that God's love led me down was modeling his love to my children and giving me some ideas for what that needs to look like.

Day 2 gave me no new answers until the middle of the day and then it led me to realize that what I may need to do to kick off some of this change is very similar to how we take steps of faith or steps towards security. I need to make the decision in my mind first, take action and TRUST God to make the changes in my heart and feelings. I need to look for the opportunities in my day to day life and be purposeful in my actions and trust God for the rest. That is what I've purposed to do going forward. So I took a few opportunities that day to try and focus on the relationship w/my girls. I picked moments when we were all together (Lily had day camp in the morning) and tried to do things w/them that built the relationship between us. I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings. Day 3....

Jesus Loves me, this I know!

2010-07-20T08:29:00.000-06:00

I wonder what the world would look like today if all of us believers in Jesus, actually believed Him that He loves us fully and completely. Would poverty still exist or would it become extinct because people, so radically changed by Jesus' love, actually tithed to their churches & gave to charities because of gratitude & worship to God over that incredible love? Would children continue to languish for years in foster care or would there be a waiting list to adopt children out of the foster care system because of Jesus' radical love impacting potential parents? Would the divorce rate among Christians continue to be at least as high as the secular world or would men and women, radically changed by the truth that Jesus loves them fully & completely, strive to work out their difficulties in marriage? Would the world still be skeptical of the "hypocritical, right-wing, conservatives" or would Christianity be embraced because Christians radically loved the people around them into the kingdom instead of being known for judgementalism, selfishness & hypocrisy? What about me? If I can even remotely get how much Jesus loves me, how much will that change how I interact and treat my family, friends and neighbors? Will I continue to think about the cost to me or will I be so radically transformed that every time I give, it's out of sheer gratitude and worship for the God who gave His only son for me?

Our pastor has been going through Ephesians over the past several weeks and "Jesus Loves me, this I know" was the topic for this past Sunday. I feel like over the last year, we've really begun to see and believe that in our own lives and it has radically changed our faith in that short amount of time. We have believed God for things that we had never entirely trusted Him for before and our lives have taken on a depth that we had always wanted but never quite had. After this message totally wrecked me on Sunday, I started thinking about how life could be different if we all actually believed that Jesus loved us and, more importantly, how can my life continue to be different with BELIEF of this all-knowing, all-pervasive, radically-changing love? How will my life look if I let this belief affect other areas of my day-to-day life?

As I type this I feel prompted to try a little 40 day experiment. For the next 40 days, I'm going to strive to know the unknowable...to let Ephesians 3:17-19 pervade all areas of my life. "so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." I can't wait to let you know what God does! Day 1....

Jasmine's started walking & Lily heard from God

2010-06-03T08:48:00.001-06:00

Hi everyone! Sorry it's been so long since I posted. We've had a busy last few weeks with Lily finishing up preschool, an open house to introduce Jasmine, Grandma Mary coming for a visit, Jasmine's MRI being redone and my birthday. Whew - no wonder I've been tired! :-)

Since I haven't updated on the family in some time, I thought I'd give you some of the highlights of what's been going on w/the Youngs. Some of the most exciting news is that in the middle of Jasmine's open house, she started taking her first steps! It was so exciting to share that w/ our friends that came! She's continuing to try and take steps here and there and her personality has really started to come through since the beginning of this month. It's been really fun to see her start to open up and flourish! She also had her rescheduled MRI about 10 days ago and we got the results back yesterday - NO SURGERY NEEDED! Yea God! That's a huge relief for us on a variety of levels. That should be the end of the tests that are needed and we are trusting God to work out the financial provision for those costs. Thank you God!

The other really amazing thing was that Lily heard from God for the first time! It was actually the next day at church and they were teaching the kids how to listen for God and how to hear from Him. Lily heard God tell her that He loved her and that she is very pretty and that God made flowers for her. How precious is that? What makes it even more special is that the next week at school and at the playground, there were a few boys that called her some names and we were able to remind her what God thought of her to counteract that. Our God is so good! I wish I had learned to listen to God when I was her age. Other than that, she seems to be going through cycles of fearing that we are going to leave her and wondering if we love her. This has come up recently so we've been trying to put extra effort into reassuring her that we are a forever family and she is our forever child. We chose her and we love her and we are not going to leave her. I'm not sure if she was triggered by Mother's Day and started thinking about her birth mom or what but we've been dealing w/that for the last couple of weeks. That's a pretty normal thing in adoption and if you don't allow the kiddos to express their feelings and talk about their fears, it will continue to come up w/more intensity each time. We've really worked hard to not take anything personally but to identify w/her grief and her loss and let her grieve when she needs to. My heart's desire for both of my girls is for God to completely heal the holes in their hearts and bring something beautiful out of the loss they've both experienced. I want my girls to fall in love with Jesus and see how He not only saved them from their sins (which is most important) but also from their old circumstances and to embrace the new legacy that He's given them. I pray that they'll be able to see how God was in the tiniest of details in their lives just as we've seen that in ours.

Besides all of the things going on w/our girls, we're in a holding pattern waiting to see what will happen with Jim's job. Between the economy and other circumstances, it's been a tough time for his employer. Please pray for them and pray for God's continued provision for our family. Whatever happens, we are trusting Him to take care of us.

God has continued to give me MULTIPLE opportunities to work on my insecurity. I've had to step outside my comfort zone and make conscious decisions in several areas to be secure and to brush off my fears of what others think. I've had to let go of "friendships" that weren't really friendships and continue with plans regardless of the outcome. Some things I've felt some measure of success in and others I've felt failure. I've done some overcoming and succumbed to criticism in other areas but all in all I'm thankful for the opportunities to grow in this huge issue. I can't help but once again think of how God is in the tiniest of details as this will be a necessary step in order to reach the next one that God has for me. I'm eager to see where this is all leading and see how all of the details are tied together but for now, I'm waiting and working on the things God has laid before me. It's hard to not jump ahead! :-)

Well, I'm off to get up my littlest turkey so I will def. try to update more soon. In the meantime, we continue to praise and thank God for His healing, provision, love and forgiveness. As one of my fav. worship songs says, "This I know, You are a Great God. This I know, You are a Great God. This I know, You are the ONE TRUE GOD, You are a Great God."

Lesson #2 with Insecurity - I am a dearly loved child of God

2010-05-12T21:42:00.001-06:00

Hi everyone. Before I get to my latest thing I'm learning, I wanted to thank you all for your prayers for Jasmine. We will need to ask you to pray again in a few weeks as, today, after they put her under, the MRI broke down! They kept her under for 45 minutes while they tried to get it working again but to no avail. As a result, we have to repeat the test 2 weeks from today. Ugh! Frustrating to have to put our little girl through all of that again, especially after Jim took off the morning from work to watch Lily, but we're taking it all in stride. Thanks for your prayers and we'll keep you updated as the rescheduled MRI date approaches.

So, as far as my lessons with insecurity go, what I am thankful for in all of this is that I am a dearly loved child of God! It doesn't matter what I do or don't do, God still loves me fully and I am so incredibly thankful for that. There is nothing that I can do that will EVER separate me from His LOVE! Praise you, God, for your incredible love for me. Where my insecurity has come in has been in forgetting that I am dearly loved by God and feeling heartbroken over those that have chosen to "dump" me after 8 1/2 years of "friendship" and "doing life together." Why? I can speculate but really I have no idea. I'm sure we've all had "friendships" like that. The good news is that regardless of what others may do or say or how they flake, God will NOT! I was reminded of that tonight, as I was driving to yoga and a song came on the radio by David Crowder called "How He Loves us" The lyrics are:

"He is jealous for me, Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us oh
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all

And we are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If His grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
And heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…

That He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves."

Oh, Praise God for His perfect timing and His incredible love! He continued to minister to me tonight throughout my yoga practice, on the way back home and even now as I'm typing, the "random" songs that have been coming up on my playlist have been ministering to my very soul. Who am I God, that you love me?! Rejected by many and yet you see my value and my heart and regardless of those, you still love me! Praise you God! I choose to believe that I am a dearly loved child of God. I want to leave you with one more song that was playing as I finished this blog. It's called "You Hold me Now" by Hillsong.

"On that day when I see
All that You have for me
When I see You face to face
There surrounded by Your grace
All my fears swept away
In the light of Your embrace
Where Your love is all I need
And forever I am free

Where the streets are made of gold
In Your presence healed and whole
Let the songs of heaven
Rise to You alone

No weeping no hurt or pain
No suffering You hold me now
You hold me now
No darkness no sick or lame
No hiding You hold me now
You hold me now

In this life I will stand
Through my joy and my pain
Knowing there's a greater day
There's a hope that never fails
Where Your Name is lifted high
And forever praises rise
For the glory of Your Name
I'm believing for the day

Where the wars and violence cease
All creation lives in peace
Let the songs of heaven
Rise to You alone

For eternity
All my heart will give
All the glory to Your Name"

MRI tomorrow

2010-05-11T16:54:00.003-06:00

Hi everyone! I hope all of the moms had a wonderful Mother's Day the other day! Ours was relatively calm and peaceful so that was nice! I just wanted to ask for some prayers for Jasmine tomorrow as she'll be having an MRI to check out a perforation (sp?) in her lower back area. We're praying that this little area will be closed, in that it doesn't go to any vital areas like her bowels or her spinal cord. We ask for prayers for her as she'll have to be put under anesthesia to keep her perfectly still during the procedure. Please pray that she wouldn't suffer any adverse effects from the anesthesia and that the doctors would be able to get whatever information they need from this MRI so that she doesn't have to undergo any further testing. Thanks so much for your prayers and we'll keep you posted as soon as we're done tomorrow. The procedure is at 10:15 a.m. Thanks everyone and we'll talk to you soon!

Tackling insecurities

2010-04-25T21:30:00.000-06:00

Sometimes I think I should change the title of this blog from "4-Ever Family" to "Diary of a Mad White Woman (spoof on Tyler Perry's movie) and Her Family's Efforts to Survive Her." I feel like I've been trying to be all things to all people ever since Lily came along (ok, since birth. Who am I kidding?) and it's, seriously, DRIVING ME CRAZY! Good wife, good mother, good friend, good sister, good daughter, good Christian, good involved church goer, good exerciser, good weight, etc. Why is it, as women, we are always striving to be everything to everyone? For me, I don't think it's perfectionism as much as it is people-pleasing. I hate to let people down so I try too hard to make them happy. I am a big mushball and get my heart broken easily so it's even worse if someone's upset or disappointed with me. I have a strong set of values that I won't break for anyone so when I do have to take a stand on something, it costs me in more ways than one. I guess it's good timing to have gone to the new Beth Moore simulcast yesterday called "So long Insecurity." As it turns out ALL of my people-pleasing is rooted in insecurity! Go figure! Wow, what a day! My brain still hurts. If any of you have ever either seen Beth Moore speak or done one of her studies, you know how intense and deep she is. Yesterday was no exception as we were encouraged to ask God to break the stronghold of insecurity in our lives and see how God uses us to change our culture as a result. No small challenge when you consider how deep and pervasive insecurity is in our lives. How many of us will miss out on God's calling in our lives because we were paralyzed by insecurity? Beth Moore said that insecurity is unbelief in God. Ouch! But it's so true, isn't it? If we FULLY believe that we are dearly loved children, as God has said in His word, and that we have been FULLY forgiven, then wouldn't that be the ultimate in security?! The funny thing is that for many of us, we think our insecurity is security because it keeps us in our comfort zone. The reality is that our insecurity keeps us from experiencing the real security of KNOWING without a shadow of a doubt that we are deeply loved children of God and FULLY forgiven. "If God is for us, then who can be against us?" I'm so tired of letting insecurity keep me from experiencing how deeply loved and fully forgiven I am. I'm scared of the process but I know that God will be faithful to complete the work He began in me and I'm trusting Him to do what He needs to do in me.

I can't help but think, once again, of God's perfect timing in bringing this up in my own life at this particular time. I've felt for a while that God is leading us up to something although I have no idea what it is and now I can't help but feel that perhaps He's wanting to get insecurity out of the way so that we are equipped to do whatever He's wanting to call us to do. Either way, I don't want to miss out on the bigger picture and I don't want to miss out on my calling, whatever that may be!

On other fronts, the "flower girls" are doing ok. Lily was sick one week and Jasmine has been sick this last week and VERY cranky so we've had a tough couple of weeks as a result. Playtime continues to be a challenge so please continue to pray for me as I continue to try and figure things out. I'm trusting God to continue to prompt me and I'll try to be faithful to follow through on what He directs.

Well, that's it for now. I have NO DOUBT that I'll be posting a lot about insecurity in the next few weeks and months as God brings me through this journey. Feel free to post back if you have any ideas that you think will be helpful or even share what you're learning as well! In all of these things, we are extremely thankful for an AMAZING and loving God who has done far more than we deserve in our lives!

Praise God.......yet again!

2010-04-14T07:48:00.000-06:00

Thanks so much for your prayers! Praise God, my "mass" is a cyst or as the doctors said, "Holy cow, that's one honking big cyst!" Cracked me up! Anyway, I'm incredibly thankful and will be getting w/my doctor to see what the next step is. Thanks for praying!

Other than that we're all doing well. I'm still trying to figure out different ways to have more meaningful play time with the girls. I know that sounds weird to many of you but this is something that does not come naturally to me. I wish it did. We do, at least, have a great schedule in place, now we just need to fill it in with some substance. If anyone has any great suggestions that have worked for you and your kiddos, please feel free to pass along! I'm open! :-) I really want to create special moments with the girls each day as we play together. I want them to remember playing with their mom when they were little and to create these little "magical" moments with them that stimulates their imaginations and bonds us together.

Something else to pray for is for Jasmine and I to continue to bond. As I shared earlier, I've felt very disconnected since we've been home, a lot of that due to exhaustion, but disconnected nonetheless. I'm slowly getting my energy back by doing little things for myself and getting filled up but I really need to work at bonding with my littlest flower girl. Again, I'm open to suggestions if anyone has any great bonding ideas. I want both my girls to know, without a doubt, that their mommy loves them and thinks they're the most precious little girls. Thanks so much for your prayers on that as well!

In the meantime, we are so incredibly thankful & humbled for the MANY ways that God has blessed us. Thank you all for your love and support of our family.

Out of body experience

2010-04-12T15:28:00.001-06:00

It's funny how certain life events can have you feeling like you're living someone else's life. I've got 2 of those circumstances going on right now. One is the surreal feeling I get when I look at my youngest daughter. I think of how long we prayed for her and dreamed of her and suddenly she's here. In my arms, no less! I can hardly wrap my mind around that fact, even 2 months later. The other is the feeling you have when you're facing a potential health crisis and your body has become a stranger to you. I'm going through that as well. Wednesday, I found a mass in my breast and Friday, I went to my OB/GYN to have it looked at. Tomorrow, I'll be having a mamogram and an ultrasound to determine if it's a minor issue such as a cyst or fybroid or something much more serious. So far so good, as my doctor is thinking it's probably a cyst. Either way, right now I feel like I'm having an out-of-body experience. I'm watching myself live my life that feels really surreal right now. I feel incredibly thankful and peaceful and yet tiny bits of anxiety pervade here and there. I'm a mom of two now. Am I doing a good enough job raising my girls and loving them so that they see Jesus in me? What if something were to happen to me.....how would they remember me? Am I leaving them a legacy of love or one of confusion 'cause mommy says one thing and does another? I know this sounds maudlin but I've really been doing some soul searching lately, prior to the Wednesday shocker. I want, more than anything in the world, to be right in the center of where God wants me, doing what He wants me to do and I've wondered if I'm in that place or not. I'm at home with my girls, yes, but since we've been home I've felt exhausted and lethargic and at times, checked out. I've been told this is normal (called the "post adoption blue") but it's frustrating because I know my girls need me and I haven't felt like I've been there for them since we've been home. I've started to do some things for myself like go from 2 to 5 workouts (hard core)/week and I've made huge changes to our diet. All of these have had me feeling better quickly but I still worry about how to leave a legacy to my girls and be more purposeful at home. I NEVER want to be someone who says one thing and does another. I want to be full of integrity so that what you see is what you get - at home, with friends, at church, etc. Whether or not this mass turns out to be anything really doesn't matter. What does matter is how I live my life with the time & gifts I've been given. I have an old friend from college who is dealing with this reality right now. She is mom of 2 youngsters and my age (40) and unless God does a miracle, she has 6-12 months left to live due to an aggressive brain cancer. We just don't know, do we?

What I keep coming back to is cancer or no-cancer, God is an amazing God and I'm incredibly thankful for all that He's done for me and my family. He will be faithful to complete the work He began in me and that includes the "mom" end of things. He's met me at my deepest need and continues to meet all of our other needs. He directed us and then stood by us when we decided to sell our old house and everyone thought we were nuts. He moved us to an incredible neighborhood with wonderful new friends and neighbors. He's brought incredible amounts of love and healing to us after leaving our church of 8 years under heartbreaking circumstances. He provided through precious friends and family when not one grant agency would, getting us to China and back again with our precious girls. And, the shortfall that we experienced prior to leaving, He's provided a way to pay that off! On Friday we pay off the last of the adoption debt! "Thank you God" seems so inadequate! God is amazing and I feel so privileged to be called His child! I want to be a reflection of Jesus so that my girls can see how amazing He is and grow up loving Him the way I do. We will all have tough times but with God's help, we can grow deeper and deeper so that not one single tear is wasted. With God, all things have meaning.

I wanted to leave you with the lyrics of a new song we learned this week at church called "All Because of Jesus" by Steve Fee. It goes like this:

"Giver of every breath I breathe
Author of all eternity
Giver of every perfect thing
To you be the glory

Maker of heaven and of earth
No one can comprehend your worth
King over all the universe
To you be the glory

I'm alive because I'm alive in You

It's all because of Jesus I'm alive
It's all because the blood of Jesus Christ
That cover's me and raised this dead man's life
It's all because of Jesus I'm alive

Every sunrise sings Your praise
The universe cries out your praise
I'm singing freedom all my days
Now that I'm alive"

New pics

2010-04-02T15:58:00.001-06:00

Hi everyone. Just a quick note to let you know I've posted some new pics of our girls, as promised. Jim was off today (Good Friday) so we spent some time together at the zoo this morning before the storm blew in. Enjoy the pics! Love you all.

God is so good...still

2010-03-31T08:55:00.000-06:00

Wow, long time, no post! Hi everyone! I'm so sorry it's been such a long time since my last post. We've been busy trying to get into routines, had Jasmine's baby dedication and we've all been fighting colds and such so it's been difficult to update. It's hard to believe that as of tomorrow, we'll have had Jasmine for 2 months and we'll have been home for 1 1/2 months! What an amazing adventure this has been! I continue to reflect back over the last year and am so humbled at how good God has been to us. Isn't it awesome that God's love and provision are not dependent on our behavior?! One of my favorite songs that we sing at church is called "Savior" The lyrics are:

"I have seen with my own eyes your faithfulness, oh, God.
I refuse to believe the lies that war against my soul.
You rescued me from all my fears, and loosed the chains of
wasted years.

You're my Savior, restorer, rebuilder, rewarder.
My refuge, redeemer, defender, my healer, Savior

Now my heart is overwhelmed by all sufficient grace.
For I have found my weaknesses become your perfect strength.
You rescued me from all my fears, and loosed the chains of
wasted years.

You're my Savior, restorer, rebuilder, rewarder.
My refuge, redeemer, defender, my healer, Savior

Behold the One who holds me in His hands.
The God who comes and turns my mourning
into dance.

You're my Savior, restorer, rebuilder, rewarder.
My refuge, redeemer, defender, my healer, Savior"

A few weeks ago, I was at church by myself (sick kiddo) and when we sang this song, I felt like God showed me how He has been all of these things to us, especially in this last year. He broke the chains that bound us for years. He is our savior and He's restored us, rebuilt us, rewarded us, been a refuge for us, a redeemer and he's defended our names. He's healed us. Praise God for His incredible faithfulness! No matter how many times we may walk away, get frustrated or not do all of the right things, He is still faithful! We had communion that day and I was reminded again at how God met us at our point of need at the cross. Wow, that hit me big time. Not only has He met us at our point of need over this last year but He did it at the cross too. I am forever His child, adopted into His family because He met me at my point of need! How amazing is that?! He will ALWAYS meet us at our point of need! There is hope, no matter how tough your situation is, because God will meet your DEEPEST need! Psalm 46:1-11 says:
"God is our refuge and strength,
always ready to help in times of trouble.
2 So we will not fear when earthquakes come
and the mountains crumble into the sea.
3 Let the oceans roar and foam.
Let the mountains tremble as the waters surge!
4 A river brings joy to the city of our God,
the sacred home of the Most High.
5 God dwells in that city; it cannot be destroyed.
From the very break of day, God will protect it.
6 The nations are in chaos,
and their kingdoms crumble!
God’s voice thunders,
and the earth melts!
7 The Lord of Heaven’s Armies is here among us;
the God of Israel is our fortress.
8 Come, see the glorious works of the Lord:
See how he brings destruction upon the world.
9 He causes wars to end throughout the earth.
He breaks the bow and snaps the spear;
he burns the shields with fire.
10 “Be still, and know that I am God!
I will be honored by every nation.
I will be honored throughout the world.”
11 The Lord of Heaven’s Armies is here among us;
the God of Israel is our fortress.

We are living some of this right now with natural disasters right and left and a government that is out of control. But God is in control and is our refuge and strength. Amen to that!

One more thing to share about what I'm learning. The following week at church we were all able to go together and one of the things they shared in the worship set was from Psalm 3:1-6. It says:
"O Lord, I have so many enemies;
so many are against me.
2 So many are saying,
“God will never rescue him!”
3 But you, O Lord, are a shield around me;
you are my glory, the one who holds my head high.
4 I cried out to the Lord,
and he answered me from his holy mountain.
5 I lay down and slept,
yet I woke up in safety,
for the Lord was watching over me.
6 I am not afraid of ten thousand enemies
who surround me on every side."

David was able to sleep, despite being surrounded by enemies because of His confidence that God was stronger than His enemies. The speaker pointed out that we all believe that God is stronger than others but did we ever stop to think that God is stronger than me? So, Jesus is not only stronger than my enemies but He's stronger than me! That means that I don't have to worry that I'm weak because Jesus is stronger than me. Thank God for that! I don't know about you but I know that I'm not strong enough so it's a huge load off to know that God is. Period!

Well, I just had to share some of what I'm learning. Hope that was ok. On the family front, we're all hanging in there. We've had good and bad days trying to figure things out but God has been good. We continue to bond and some days are tougher than others but we're trusting God to be faithful to complete the work He began in our family. Jasmine is doing well, health-wise, other than an on-going cold. We're still waiting to hear back on some of the tests that were done but overall, she seems to be doing well. We've decided to hold off on having her evaluated for delays for a few months to give her a chance to get used to her new surroundings and get a better feel for the new language. Sometime this summer, we'll go ahead w/the evals. and see where we're at, delay-wise. We did have her baby dedication on March 7 and it was really special. Thanks to our precious family and friends for making it a really wonderful day! God is so good! We'll try and get some photos at some point to post.

Lily is doing better, overall. Switching the rooms around and trying to have more one-on-one time has really helped. We're still dealing with on-going issues of teaching her to be more gentle and kind to her sister but all are within the normal range so that's ok.

Finance-wise, we are really amazed and thankful at how God is making our dollars stretch! We were really panicked after we got home, trying to figure out how to make things work out with all of the new expenses and medical costs but somehow, God is making it work. We bought a Dave Ramsey book and have implemented his strict plans to paying off debt and it's all working so praise God for that! I HIGHLY recommend his materials, if you're in a similar place. Awesome tools and it's an easy read! At any rate, we've eliminated our cell phones as part of our debt reduction strategy so if you get a strange message saying the phone was disconnected, you know why! :-) Regardless, our new budget is working well and God is incredibly faithful so thank you all for your prayers for us!

That's it for now. We continue to thank God for all of you for your INCREDIBLE support and prayers on our behalf! We are so blessed to have such wonderful people in our lives and we are so incredibly grateful for all of you! I will try and do a better job of posting more often. I do have some new pics to upload and post so I'll try and do that soon. In the meantime, I'm going to finish this so I can take my girls to the zoo! It's supposed to be in the 70's today and I'm not going to miss a great opportunity to be outside on a beautiful day. Love you all and talk to you soon! :-)

Getting settled in

2010-03-02T16:15:00.001-07:00

Hi everyone! We want to thank you all SO much for all of your prayers, encouragement, emails, etc. All of your suggestions have rocked and all seem to be helping us all settle both girls into more of a routine. We're still having our moments with Lily but the severity, compared with last week, has lessened considerably! Yea God!

So, we've mostly got the girls' rooms moved and are trying to put some things back together. We're still unpacking from the trip but overall I feel like we're finally settling back in and feeling more comfortable with each other.

As far as Jasmine goes, we have another upper G.I. scheduled for Thursday morning that will be a little more in depth to take a look at whatever the radiologist saw last time. Additionally, we're going to be consulting a orthopedic about Jasmine's wrist as well as consult w/one of the local pediatric rehab centers about evaluating Jasmine's delays. Our hope and prayer is that all of these will go smoothly and will require little or no further follow-up.

We decided to try 1 more time to appeal to the Gift of Adoption grant and see if they will come alongside of us to help us with the last of the adoption costs. It's frustrating and yet amazing because we've not gotten help from 1 single grant organization and yet God has still come through for us. We're so thankful that we have a God who promises to provide for our every need and we continue to trust Him in all things.

I almost forgot! This Sunday, we'll be dedicating Jasmine at church. My family will be driving down from Denver-area and a few friends will be joining us to dedicate this precious girl. I'll be sure to post plenty of pictures for you all to enjoy! If you live in the area and want to come, please let me know ahead of time so I can reserve some seats for you.

We'll continue to keep you posted but in the meantime, I wanted to share a couple of pics of the "flower girls", as I like to call them! :-) Thank you all for your continued prayers! You have made such a difference in our lives and we are truly thankful for all of you! :-)

Great ideas!

2010-02-25T19:37:00.000-07:00

Thank you all for your encouragement and some really great ideas! We're going to try them all and see what works. Today was a better day, Thank God, so we're extremely thankful for that. Some of the ideas had to do with taking the negative and turning it into a positive by engaging Lily's help with Jing Jing and really celebrating her role as a big sister. One friend had additionally thought having Lily help with things that are more nurturing like helping put lotion on Jasmine for example. She also suggested having mini-one-on-one time with both girls by literally bouncing from one girl to the other and having 5 minutes here and 5 minutes there while the other one is occupied w/a play activity. We're going to continue to reinforce discipline/time-outs when she doesn't behave and try to help her put herself in Jing Jing's shoes. Hopefully between all of these ideas and switching their rooms around, we'll see a little bit of progress. In all of this, we continue to trust God for strength and wisdom and discernment as we see what works and what doesn't. Thanks again everyone and we'll continue to keep you posted!

Bad day

2010-02-25T12:08:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone. I just wanted to do another quickie update to ask again for your prayers. Yesterday was such a bad day for me. I think I shared that Lily was acting out quite a bit but yesterday it started first thing in the morning and went ALL day! It was a very discouraging day and to top it off, Jasmine was quite cranky as well which left us both completely drained and discouraged last night. I just want to ask for wisdom and discernment as we try and figure out the best way to handle Lily's behavior as well as give both girls the attention and love that they need. It feels like a fine balance a lot of times. I think the worse part about it is that Lily seems to have no remorse whatsoever when she's confronted and it's that part that REALLY bothers me. Please pray for wisdom and discernment there. I really long to see her heart connected to her decisions (I guess by heart, I mean conscience.)

We are going to try a couple of things to see if they help. The main one has to do with making sure that she still has a personal space. (That was a recommendation of Adoption.com) So, we're going to separate the girls and bring their play room into their rooms which will require us to move around some furniture this weekend. Additionally, we're trying to work it out so each of us has some one-on-one time w/both girls every day if not each week. Again, we're still trying to figure out how that will look so we'd appreciate your prayers as we continue to try and figure out what will work and what won't. If anyone has any great ideas, please feel free to pass them along! We're totally open.

Also, I do have a slight update on Jasmine's tests. It looks like she does NOT have acid reflux, which is awesome, however the radiologist did see some kind of twist or kink either in her intestines or stomach that he would like further testing on. We don't know what this means but are awaiting our pediatrician's call on what test they want to do next. We're praying that everything will come back normal and for wisdom and discernment for the doctors. Everything in her wrist appears to be normal (so weird!) but our doctor may have us take her to an orthopedic surgeon to further consult on that one so we'll keep you posted. All of her lab work appeared to come back normal but unfortunately the lab messed up (twice now) on one of the tests so we'll have to take her back in a third time to repeat that test.

I think that's it for now. Thanks again, everyone, for all of your encouragement and support! We could not do this without you and without God. We are trusting Him to guide us in this as He knows both of our daughters' hearts better than we do. Thank you, God, for not leaving us alone!

Settling in

2010-02-24T13:44:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone. Sorry it's been a week or so since I last posted. We've had a rough transition home and, while some things are still rough, we're getting over some humps with Jasmine. Thanks so much for all of your prayers! Seriously! It's the prayers and encouragement that are getting us through right now so thank you for making a difference!

So, Jasmine seems to be settling in nicely. We're finally getting some sleep as Jasmine has slept through the night for the last 6 nights! Yeah God! This week, Jim went back to work so I've been trying to muddle through on my own and adjust to our new "old" schedule again but this time with 2 kiddos. Lily, on the other hand, is now starting to act out quite a bit and every day since we got home has felt like a battle with her. I'd really appreciate your prayers as I feel like I'm at my wit's end right now and really need God's wisdom and discernment to help get her settled in and to know when to nurture and when to discipline. I'm still exhausted from everything so that hasn't helped either. It's funny because I really thought that I had prepared myself for how hard it would be with Lily adjusting to a new sister but I think when I saw how well she did in China, I hoped that it would go easier than it's going. I guess, as is true w/most things, there's really only a certain point that you can prepare yourself to and after that, you just have to go through it.

As far as the tests go, we were able to get all of the lab work done by the weekend and then her upper G.I. and xrays of her wrist were done on Monday. We're now waiting for all of the results to come back. It does appear that she does NOT have acid reflux but something else did come up that the Dr. wanted to check his films further on. No idea what that was but we're praying for a clean bill of health and are hoping to hear back this week on all of the results. We will definitely keep you posted.

As tough as things have been, we wouldn't change a thing. We know that God's plan is WAY better than anything we could ever imagine and we KNOW that this is God's plan for our family. We have no idea how God's going to take care the rest of the adoption expenses, how we're all going to bond & attach or how to best come alongside of Lily but we KNOW that He is in control and that He loves us and He WILL NOT LEAVE US OR FORSAKE US! Praise God that even in our toughest times, He is there and gives us everything we need. We don't deserve a thing from Him and yet He still blesses us and provides for us. Amazing! Please continue to pray for us as we work through this tough time and we'll be in touch soon. We love you all!

Mini update and prayer request

2010-02-18T21:04:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! I still want to update on our last day or so leaving Hong Kong and San Francisco but wanted to give you a little update on what's been going on since we arrived home. We continue to need prayers for rest as the past couple of days since we arrived home have been really brutal. The jet lag has really affected all of us and, on top of that, Jasmine hasn't been sleeping much at night so we're additionally exhausted from that.

So, the main part of this update relates to Jasmine's first visit with our pediatrician yesterday and the main part of our prayer request. We found out that she definitely has a severe allergy to milk and probable acid reflux, double ear infection and a broken wrist that was not treated! The obvious emotional trauma and loss aside, no wonder our girl has been hysterical at night! We will be taking her in on Monday for an Upper G.I. to test for the acid reflux & x-ray her wrist and ask for wisdom and discernment for our doctor as we try to eliminate all of the physical things that have been bothering her for quite a while. Our doctor will also be doing some blood work and stool samples to test for parasites, hepatitis, iron levels & vaccination levels (many orphanages water down their vaccines). We ask for your prayers over all of these things, that she would be healed physically as well as emotionally and mentally from all that she's been through. Additionally, we know that she has some slight delays, which will also be evaluated, but are hopeful that clearing up some of the physical symptoms (i.e. broken wrist) & lots of love and nurturing will help get her caught up. We'd like to ask for prayer for us for wisdom and discernment to help figure out the best ways to love and nurture her while still getting the rest we need to be the best we can for each other and her. And obviously, prayers for bonding, attachment, healing and REST would be HUGELY appreciated as well.

We'll be meeting w/our caseworker on Sunday afternoon and have already gotten some fantastic support from our agency so once again, we are incredibly thankful for CCAI! Thank God for them! Seriously!

One last prayer request is the financial end of things. We were turned down by the last of the grant agencies so between whatever medical bills and the $3600 we were short for the adoption, we're needing & trusting God to still provide. Please pray that our faith would remain strong and for God's provision.

As far as Lily goes, she was absolutely AMAZING during our trip but now that we're home and reality has sunk in, she's having a harder time and is acting out. We ask for your prayers for us and Lily that we have wisdom and discernment to love and nurture her through this big change in her life. She is doing fantastic at preschool and has transitioned beautifully back into her class and routine so Praise God for that!

Before I close, I do want to share 1 last praise. After the Doctor's visit and some of CCAI's fantastic resources, we tried something slightly different last night w/Jasmine's bedtime and raised 1 side of her mattress to help w/the acid reflux. She slept for about 7 hours straight. PRAISE GOD! She slept which meant we all slept! We're trying the same thing tonight and hoping we stumbled onto a few keys to night time sleep. We'll keep you posted.

Well, once again, thank you all for all of your prayers and encouragement. We've been blown away by all of the support and feel so blessed to have you in our lives!

We're home!

2010-02-17T07:26:00.000-07:00

Yea God! As you saw, from Jim's earlier post, we are home! We were unable to post anything once we flew to mainland China due to the government restrictions on blogs. We had no access to any blogs, facebook or twitter and so could only send out limited emails. So sorry for the long absence but hopefully this will help you all get caught up!

It was a harrowing trip home as there was a lot of turbulance and we're completely exhausted from the trip & jet lag and from dealing w/Jasmine's tough times. There's more to update but for right now, please continue to pray for us as the last few days home have been extremely rough. Acclimating our bodies back to this time zone has been tough enough but we've had multiple sleepless nights because Jasmine has been inconsolable for hours on end. Please pray for wisdom and discernment and REST!!!! We are so beyond depleted right now and really need God's hand on our family.

For now, please feel free to go back through the blog and read the stories and see the new pictures. It took me about 3 hours to update and I've not even tackled the videos or our facebook yet! I'm trying to do this while things are still fresh so I can have these memories forever. Thanks so much for your prayers and we'll talk to you soon! :-)

2/13/10 – Departure Eve

2010-02-17T07:18:00.000-07:00

1 more day until we leave! Yea God! Hi everyone. We wanted to say thank you so much for all of your prayers and encouragement. You have all been absolutely amazing in supporting us and we thank God for you all the time. We have not had the quiet times that we had hoped while we’ve been gone, we’ve been brought to the brink (especially me) and back and yet God has still NEVER forsaken us nor stopped watching over us. We don’t deserve such an amazing God.

It’s hard to believe that this part of our journey is almost over. In so many ways, it feels like months and months since we’ve been gone. We’ve really been able to experience quite a bit of Jasmine’s culture and as enjoyable as that’s been, we are so ready to get home and get back into some routines. We are completely counting on God (“Counting on God” by Desperation Band has become our mantra for this whole journey) to finish the bonding and attachment that He has already completed in Heaven. I’m reminded again how, with God, there is only NOW and NOW has been finished. It helps remind me that I don’t need to do God’s job because it’s already done. I just need to focus on my part. It’s amazing how relieving that is!

At any rate, this will be my last post until we get home. We’ll continue to need your prayers as we expect the first few weeks to be rough and exhausting as we acclimate back to a 15 hour time difference and the exhaustion from the trip, not to mention adjusting to a new family member & her adjustment to us. We’ll be clinging to God to get us through and can’t wait until things begin to level out a little. We’ll be overwhelmed a lot and will need your prayers and encouragement to get us through the tough times ahead. Thank you again for partnering with us on this journey! Much more to come!

Jing-zilla takes the Consulate

2010-02-17T06:56:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! Sorry it’s been a couple of days but things have finally wound down and we are so ready to get home! Wednesday (our time) we went to the Guangzhou Zoo for ½ day and had a great time. The zoo is so beautiful with tons of Banyan and Hong Kong orchid trees and many others. I can tell that Guangzhou must live up to it’s moniker, “city of flowers” in the spring and summer as it’s gorgeous in winter. We were reminded a little bit of the San Diego zoo because of all of the gorgeous scenery that surrounds all of the walkways in the zoo. We had a blast seeing all of the animals and it was a refreshing change of scenery for the morning.

Wednesday afternoon was our appointment with the Consulate so we went on a bus with about 34 other families staying at the White Swan. It ended up being a rough afternoon as Jing Jing had not napped enough. She ended up pitching the fit of the century (REALLY) while we were waiting with all of the other families in the waiting area. That was a fun time. NOT! At any rate, daddy took over and gave mommy a break and she calmed down quickly after that. (Yeah, mommy’s pride took a severe beating.) Later (much later) we were able to joke a little bit about Jing-zilla (no disrespect intended) emerging and taking the consulate. It’s funny the things you laugh about when you’re beat up and tired! Sometimes humor is the only thing left.

Thursday morning, after our bed tried, unsuccessfully, to kill us again, we decided to spend some quality time outside as it was a rare gorgeous day out. (Normally winter time is rainy season so we’ve seen a lot of rain.) Jim & Lily did a local park while I stayed w/ Jing Jing to make sure she got a nap in. After we decided to check out the swimming pool which is outdoors to see if we could do a little swimming while it was hot and nice out. Apparently, there’s no heater so the water was a chilly 69 degrees! We actually went in anyway and tried to convince ourselves it was hot. Ridiculous but we had fun!

Later that day we took Jing Jing to the clinic for the third time because we could still hear garbage rattling around in her chest and wanted to make sure we stayed on top of it. Thankfully this time they gave her a nebulizer treatment which helped clear up things dramatically. Yea God! The other “yea God” was we emailed our pediatrician w/some questions relating to her treatment and they got back to us immediately with some answers, so we’re very thankful. We’d appreciate your prayers for both girls as we get ready to head back to the States, that the flight would go smoothly for them and us and that we’d figure out the right mixture of sleep so that we can all get a jumpstart back on to our time zone.

Today and tomorrow will be uneventful days for us as almost everyone has left and most of the shops will be closed for Chinese New Year. We’ve done over half of our packing today and expect to finish the rest tomorrow, as we’ll be leaving early Sunday morning to get to the airport. I’m hoping that I’ll be able to walk as this bed is seriously debilitating us both. ;-) We’re hopeful that we’ll be able to update our blog and facebook page once we get to Hong Kong and may try to upload some pics and journal entries then. Otherwise, we’ll be updating you all when we get to San Francisco on Sunday. Thanks in advance, for prayers for safe travels.
Thanks so much for all of your prayers. Despite some really rough moments, we’ve had good ones too and believe that God has had His Hand on us this whole time. We feel so incredibly blessed and thankful that He loves us so much! Truly, what an amazing God we have! We can’t wait to see you all soon!

Guangzhou & the Pearl Market

2010-02-17T06:27:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! I wanted to write a little bit about Guangzhou. We have to say that it actually might turn out to be our favorite amongst all 3 cities that we’ve been in. We’ve arrived during their winter, which is their rainy season. Most of the days have been warm but so far it’s rained every single day we’ve been here except for the morning of our clinic visit. While the traffic is still pretty thick around town, the drivers don’t try to kill each other the way they did in Chengdu. The Hotel that we’re staying at, the White Swan Hotel, is located on Shamian Island, which is right next to the Pearl River, which is the 3rd largest river in China. My favorite part about this area is the HUGE Banyan trees that line the streets near our hotel. Most of these trees are older than 100 years old and form huge canopies over the sidewalks and streets. Guangzhou will be hosting the 2010 Asian games in November so they’ve been doing a massive facelift to spruce up this already gorgeous city. Most of the buildings near our hotel have scaffolding surrounding them as they complete the renovations. Our guide, Jason, told us that they’ve already been working on the renovations for a few months already and will be continuing those for another 3-6 months, all paid for by the government.

Yesterday, we had the privilege of going to the pearl market and I have to say it wasn’t quite what I expected. I was thinking it would be this huge outdoor marketplace with all sorts of vendors and booths but that was not the case. We arrived to this huge mall (at least 7 stories tall) and it was filled from top to bottom w/jewelry wholesalers of every possible kind. Many stores had already closed up shop for Chinese New Year but many were still open. Our guide, Jason, took us to a specific vendor, otherwise we would have been overwhelmed by the choices. We did get each of our girls a small pearl pendant to give to them either as a graduation gift or a wedding gift, but we could have bought full on pearl necklaces, bracelets and earrings of a variety of qualities of pearls and them designed however we wanted.

Today was mostly a free day. Our guide, Jason, presented our paperwork to the US consulate so we had to stay in our rooms for about ½ hour in case the Consulate had any questions about our paperwork. Thankfully, everything went smoothly! Yea God! So tomorrow morning, we’ll go visit the Chengdu Zoo and in the afternoon, we’ll go to the Consulate to take our oath. Once again, thanks to Jason & our agency, all of the hard work is done for us so we’re basically finished with all of our paperwork. On Thursday, he’ll pick up Jasmine’s visa and we’re all done until we leave!

We can’t believe we only have about 5 more days here! Yea God! As amazing as it’s been, we’re really ready to come home and get into a regular routine. Things have definitely gotten better so thanks so much for all of your prayers and encouragement! I know I say that a lot but I REALLY mean it! We still have a ways to go towards attachment but bonding has begun and the foundation is laid. We’re trusting God to knit our hearts together as He did with Lily.

Jing Jing’s cold seems to be getting better. It did get into her chest a little bit but it appears that all of the meds the docs gave us seem to be working. We took her back to the clinic today to check her progress and we’re given a few more days worth of meds to hopefully knock everything out. We ask for your prayers for complete healing for her so that our return flights home won’t be completely miserable.

Lily’s also doing much better. Those 2 days where she seemed to be really grieving the loss of her birth mom, have eased up a bit and now we’ve added Daisy to our prayers at night. Once again, we’re trusting God to heal her precious heart and give us wisdom to know how to deal with things and hopefully handle them in a way that will promote that healing and trust in God. She’s still dealing w/jealousy off and on but that’s also normal. Again, that routine at home will be really helpful in getting us all into a groove again.

As for Jim & I, we’re really hanging in there thanks to your prayers and God’s grace! This has been extremely stressful, emotional, exhausting and amazing and God’s really given us the strength to pull together and get through this as a team. We are so incredibly thankful! We would ask your prayers as this has brought up more feelings of grief from our former church situation, that God would continue to heal our hearts and help us forgive and let go and let God be our defender and protector. It’s funny how sometimes these happy times can be so bittersweet. You appreciate what you have now because of what you went through and yet with the new, you grieve what was lost. Over the last year, we’ve experienced a new house, new neighborhood, new church, new friends & new family member and yet it’s been a year of loss as well. But in and through it all, God has shown Himself to be ALL that we need! Praise God for His incredible faithfulness and love! “Who am I that you are mindful of me?”

Well, needless to say, we can’t wait to see you all soon! We found out that our flight into Hong Kong was cancelled so they’ve put us on an earlier flight, which means we’ll have a 10 hour+ lay-over in Hong Kong, before we leave for home. We’d really appreciate your prayers over our flights and both girls doing well on both flights as well as prayer for something that we could do besides sit around the airport for 10+ hours. We could take a train back to Disneyland as it’s a very short trip from the airport but aren’t sure if we can get tickets or not. Please pray that we wouldn’t have any other cancellations and are able to work out those details. Well, talk to you all soon and thanks again for the incredible difference you’ve made in our lives! ☺

We’re in Guangzhou!

2010-02-17T06:01:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve emailed. We got into Guangzhou late on Friday night our time and it’s been a little busy ever since. We’re staying at the White Swan Hotel, which is where most of the adoptive parents stay when they come through here and it’s absolutely gorgeous! They have a huge koi pond and waterfall on the inside of the hotel and it sits right on the Pearl River so it’s absolutely beautiful. Much nicer than the other hotels we’ve stayed in.

So on Saturday, we all met up in the Swan Room (as the other family in our group is staying in a different hotel), which is the cutest little play room right in the hotel for all of the families to bring their children. We had to do some Visa paperwork, which took all of ½ hour thanks to our awesome CCAI guide, Jason! I have to say that this is really where you want to have a rockin’ agency – in country! SERIOUSLY! In Chengdu, 1 lady who was traveling alone got held up because she didn’t have a certain piece of paperwork that her agency didn’t tell her about and we breezed right through every part. Jason made the Visa paperwork easy and then walked us through getting Jasmines’ Visa paperwork and her doctors’ visit.
So the visit to the doctor was an interesting experience! Jasmine has to have a physical for her Visa/immigration paperwork. There were about 50+ other families there who were also adopting and so it was total chaos in the clinic! Once again, I was so thankful for CCAI because Jason walked us through each station and we were able to breeze right in and out of that clinic no problem. Because he had done whatever paperwork , we were able to jump ahead of those 50 other families who didn’t have that paperwork completed when we arrived! So, a word to the wise – if you’re planning on adopting internationally, find out about their in-country process. Do they have reps in-country that actually live in-country who can walk you through things? How happy are the families who adopted? If the in-country experience wasn’t good – run!

So, once we finished with the clinic, we were off for the rest of the day. Lily and I tried to go swimming while Jasmine was sleeping but realized that the pool wasn’t heated so it was a cold 50 degrees or so. Oh well! On Day 3 in Guangzhou, which was yesterday, Jason arranged a cultural tour for us. First, we went to a Buddhist monastery, which was about 800 years old. Apparently, everyone heads to the temple to pray or do whatever to make penance for the past year and start fresh for the next year. So, needless to say, the monastery was very crowded w/all sorts of people making their offerings to Buddha and praying to him. I originally thought it would be interesting to go and when we were told that the priests would give the babies a blessing if we liked, thought that would be a nice cultural experience. I have to say that we both wanted to weep over these precious people who were bowing down and worshipping this metal idol. When we got to where the priests were doing the blessing, we decided to refrain, as they were blessing the families w/water that was offered to the idol, not to mention the families were asked to take off their shoes and bow before the idol. I had to walk out, feeling grief over watching people worship this fake god and not the 1 true God. They didn’t know what they were doing was wrong but I could almost feel God’s grief over people He loves, worshiping other gods.

The rest of the tour, other than being in the pouring rain, was less eventful. We got to go to a museum to view a variety of Chinese art, which was really spectacular. The Chinese artists really put other artists to shame with their amazing detail in the their carvings or paintings. It’s really incredible.. After that we went to a store that sells a variety of porcelain, paintings, embroidery, jade and other items – all handmade. Then yesterday afternoon, while the girls were sleeping w/daddy, I hooked w/the girls from our other family group to do a little shopping and haggling! I did pretty well, once I got the hang of things, and would love to go shopping again just so I can try out my newly acquired haggling skills. ☺

Today, we’re going to a pearl market where they have a variety of types, sizes and colors of pearls at a wholesale price. I don’t think we’ll really buy much even though we were told to expect prices 1/6 of what we would pay in the US. It’ll be fun to go, and see what it’s like.

So that’s been our itinerary over these last few days. Physically and emotionally, it’s been much more difficult. We’ve been tired from having Jasmine not sleep well and sore from carrying her in the mai tai and sore from the traveling and rock hard beds. Jasmine’s cold has been getting worse so we finally had to take her to a clinic on the 3rd floor of our hotel (yup, they have a clinic too!). They prescribed a few different medicines for her that seem to be helping so we’ll see if that’ll do the trick. On top of that, Lily’s been having a rough time. Seeing Jasmine adopted and that process has really brought a lot of feelings and questions to the surface about her birth mom, Daisy. She’s been expressing grief over missing her birth mom and being worried about her and wishing that she was with her so that things could feel “normal.” I so understand that desire for “normal”. For the longest time after my miscarriage, the desire to not have that hole in my heart and to have back “normal” was my deepest desire. I eventually learned, over time, how to live with the hole and to accept a new “normal” in my life but that was a huge struggle for me. It’s breaking my heart to see my daughter struggle with that and yet I know that it’s important for healing, for her to go through this process. My dad, who is a social worker, has assured me that this is a good thing that she’s going through this now rather than stuffing it and acting out later so that’s helped us to feel a little bit better. Ultimately, my precious daughter’s healing is in God’s hands and I need to trust Him to heal her as He’s healed me.

So, this has been quite the couple of days and yet, we’ve felt God’s presence throughout all of it and are so thankful for Him, the one TRUE, LIVING GOD! Thank GOD that He is a living God! I can’t imagine how desolate and hopeless life would be if I worshipped a God that was made by man and wasn’t even alive!

Well, Jasmine has started to stir so I’d better get going so I can finally update you all. Thank you again for all of your prayers! You are all making such a difference and I can’t thank you enough for being warriors on our behalf! ☺ I can’t wait until we can see you all again and introduce you to Jing Jing!

Shopping in Chengdu

2010-02-17T05:52:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! I just wanted to say thank you so much for all of your prayers and encouragement this morning after I emailed our little prayer request to you! Jing Jing’s teething and had gotten up w/a slight fever and was pretty fussy. After I emailed, she fell asleep in the Mai Tai w/Jim and slept for 2 hours! Poor little sweetie! Our guide, Anita, had told us that typically days 3 & 4 tend to be more rough because the babies begin to realize that they’re not on vacation and start to recognize that things are changing and different. We’ve noticed that first thing in the morning and bedtime are the rough times for Jing Jing so thank you for your prayers over those times for all of us! Tomorrow we’ll be flying to Guangzhou and leave around 5:45pm. It’s a 2 hour flight which means we’ll be getting in right when the girls will both be tired so we’d appreciate your prayers over that as well.
Today was our shopping day in Chengdu so, while Jim stayed w/Jing Jing in the room, Lily & I went w/our group to Jinli Street to shop for cultural souvenirs. We were able to find a few treasures that were all hand-made and specific to this city and province to have for Jasmine as she gets older. It was so much fun to walk down this street which felt like an alley from “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.” The street was festively decorated for Chinese New Year with both sides lined with a canopy of red lanterns and all of the quaint shops tucked into little nooks and crannies. I wish you could have been there! There’s so much character and energy to this city that I have to say that, despite my initial intimidation, I’ve really grown to love it here. I will truly miss Chengdu after we leave. The people have been so warm and welcoming towards us that I’ll always treasure having come here. Of course, it helped to have a little blond haired celebrity in our midst! ;-) Lily continued to charm and once again we were mobbed several times with people wanting to take pictures with her and give her hugs. Reality back at home for her is going to suck! ☺ After coming back to the hotel and getting all of our Adoption documents from Anita, we all decided to go to the local bookstore to pick up a couple of baby books in Chinese & English for our kiddos. It was one of the biggest bookstores I’ve ever seen – at least 3 stories tall and filled to the brim w/every kind of topic known to man. We were able to buy a couple of baby books w/English and Chinese as well as a couple of puzzles w/both Chinese and English. They’ll all be great little treasures to have from our trip to Chengdu.

On a quick side note, we did hear back from the grant agency who turned us down last time and they have turned us down again. We have 1 more that we haven’t heard from yet but are continuing to trust God in all things. He will not let us down and we praise and thank Him for that!

We’re now settling down in our room to have dinner and get the girls off to bed so I’ll say goodnight for now. I’ll try and email tomorrow, otherwise I’ll for sure email the day after tomorrow. We love you all and seriously thank God for you! You have all been so amazing and we LOVE that we get to share this journey with you! Praise God for His incredible faithfulness and grace! He has been so good to us and we are continually grateful for Him! God is so good!

Giant Pandas!

2010-02-17T05:39:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! So today is Wednesday (or Tuesday for all of you back in the States) and today we went to the Panda Reserve in Chengdu! We were able to sleep in a little longer which was nice. We were wiped out! Most mornings we’re up by 5 or 5:30am but today we slept in until about 6:30. I think both girls would have slept longer if I hadn’t woken them up. At any rate, today was a tougher day with Jasmine. She was pretty fussy this morning which could be because she was tired, it was rainy or she was grieving or a combo of all 3. A lot of people don’t realize it, but babies do grieve. People assume that when you adopt an infant, everything’s ok, the baby doesn’t know or remember anything but that’s not true. They may not have a clear memory like an adult can remember details but they remember being abandoned. They remember being alone and not having anyone answer their cries. They miss their birth mom and their nannies and they grieve. I have to say that one of the toughest things about being an adoptive parent is figuring out when your child is crying over brushing her teeth because she's tired or if she’s crying because some fear of being abandoned again has been triggered and came up. We have a new “normal” that we’re constantly trying to figure out which makes parenting an extra challenge. But I also have to say that those same challenges turn into incredible rewards when we’re able to figure out a tiny piece of what our child is grieving and help them get it out so they can heal.

So, despite the rough morning, we all had a fantastic time at the Panda Reserve. It was gorgeous, our walk way lined with a canopy of green bamboo trees. A light misty rain was falling and it was cool but not so cool that we were cold. We were able to see not only the giant pandas, but also red pandas! We paid a little extra so that Lily & Jim were able to sit and hold and pet one while I took pictures. If Jasmine hadn’t been sleeping….oh well! ☺ Lily was in hog heaven! You know how she loves animals! We took a ton of pictures!

The afternoon, we gave Jasmine her first bath! Well, first bath with us anyway! We held off until today because apparently bath time at the orphanage was a little traumatic. It was more like an assembly line and the kiddos didn’t get a chance to play so most didn’t always have fond bath time memories. We obviously didn’t want to add one more thing for her to be traumatized over so held off until today. She did really well and really enjoyed playing a bit so it turned out to be a good idea. ☺ The rest of the afternoon, we hung out and eventually got out of the room and did a little more shopping before we came back to the room to eat dinner and get the girls to bed. Bedtime was definitely much more traumatic tonight. I don’t know if she’s just really missing her nannies or what but please pray for her and for us that we’d have wisdom to know how to best handle the situations as they come up.
Well, I’m pooped so I’m off to get this emailed off to you all. Thanks again for all of your prayers and we’ll be talking to you soon! Tomorrow (Thurs. for us) we’ll be doing some shopping for cultural souvenirs and then Friday afternoon (I think) we’ll be flying to Guangzhou for the last leg of our trip! We can’t wait to get back to see you all. Talk to you soon! ☺

Adoption day is complete!

2010-02-17T05:33:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone. We finalized our adoption today and I learned what a squatty potty is. First, the good news….Jing Jing is ours forever! We went to the registration & notary offices today and finalized our adoption! It took a few hours between both offices to finish up the paper work but Yea God, it’s done. It’s hard to believe but it’s so incredibly amazing. God is so good.

The rest of the day we tried to take it easy. We did venture out for a little walk through some of the streets and shops. Jim has been trying to drag me out of the hotel for the last couple of days but I’ve been so intimidated by the traffic, I’ve not ventured out too often. Ridiculous I know, but between the culture shock (mainland China is VERY different than Hong Kong), lack of any English signage or language and the crazy traffic (and I am NOT KIDDING), I’ve been a big chicken. But we did venture out for about an hour or so, walking through all of these outdoor shops, now getting noticed for having a Chinese baby with us as well as little blond Lily. We really have found the Chinese people both in Hong Kong and here in Chengdu to be extremely warm and friendly. I have to say that the city itself has really grown on me. Hong Kong had a lot of gorgeous mountain scenery as well as beautiful skyline. Chengdu is beautiful in an entirely different way. There aren’t as many high rises as in Hong Kong but the buildings have a different kind of beauty that’s hard to describe. It’s common to walk along and see bike after bike after bike lined up along the sidewalk for blocks and blocks. There are as many pedestrians as cars and it’s been fascinating to watch them all navigate the craziness. There are shops of every kind stuck into every nook and cranny and on every street corner there’s some kind of salesman or shop owner beckoning you to come shop their wares. It’s a fascinating city and I’m enjoying getting over my fears and exploring a tiny bit before we fly out to Guangzhou.

Things with Jing Jing are going well. We had a good day all day. She started to crawl today which she wasn’t doing yesterday so it’s amazing to see her start to thrive a little more. She’s been making great eye contact with us and smiling and laughing a little more also. Our bedtime was a little rough, in part because we had a group dinner to celebrate our adoptions. That kept both of the girls up a little later than would be their regular bedtimes so they were both wiped out by the time we got back to the hotel. But all in all, I feel like we’ve had a better chance to bond with her today and slowly we’re getting a feel for what she likes and doesn’t like. It’s definitely trial and error at this point but it’s going better than I would have imagined. Thank you all for your prayers for us on this – we can tell you’ve been praying for this transition for our family!

So, before I sign off, I have to share about the squatty potties. I had heard some rumors about the potty situation here (hey, I’m a mom of 2 young kids, what can I say? Potty is a big part of our vocabulary!), but I had prayed those rumors weren’t true. The rumors are true. ;-) So, while we were at the registry office, Lily announced that she had to go potty. I didn’t think anything of it but went to take her along w/the other little girl in our group. I had Jasmine in the Mei Tai and walked Lily into this little bathroom and looked down….flush with the floor was a little hole. Ummmm, so if you’re a guy, this is no problem but if you’re a girl, well, you get the picture. So, if you can imagine me trying to hang onto Jasmine so she doesn’t slide out of the Mei Tai head first into the hole, while trying to lower Lily w/o her touching the disgusting floor……yep, that was my squatty potty experience! Needless to say, I waited until we got back to the hotel! ☺

So, on that note, I’ll finish this update and again thank you all for your prayers and encouragement. We’re experiencing God’s provision and miracles every single day and are so incredibly thankful that He loves us and how He’s in the tiniest of details. We’re so thankful for our 2 precious girls and how each day we’re bonding a little bit more as a family. And, we’re so thankful for you all. ☺

Our first night

2010-02-17T05:25:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! So our first night w/Jing Jing went really well. I think I told you all that after we took care of the constipation, our little sweetie began to feel much better. We were able to get some great family play time in and even went into the swimming pool for a little while before bedtime. Anita, our CCAI guide, had given us a heads up that she might wake up in the middle of the night and if so, just give her a little pat and say “Hala Hala Hala” which means “it’s ok” in Mandarin and then she’ll go back to sleep. She only woke up once and we did as directed and right back to sleep she went! Thank God ‘cause I am seriously homicidal if I get too sleep deprived! Our bed is roomy but not very comfortable so I’ve been waking up w/knots in my back. Thank God that I have a chiropractor appointment set up for when we get home!

I had another “Yea God” detail that I wanted to share with you. A few weeks after our match, we sent a care package to Jasmine w/a few different items of either toys or clothes and a baby picture book of our family. Our agency had given us labels in Chinese to put on the pictures so that way everyone could be identified. They also let us know that there was no guarantees that we would get them back or that they would get passed along. So I’ve been praying that of all the items, I’d love to have them give her the picture book & a little teddy bear that I had sent her. My “yea God” is that they did give those 2 items to her and they returned them back to us so they’ll be keepsakes for her! I love that even those tiny details are ones that God cares about!

Thanks everyone for all of your prayers! We can’t wait to get back so that we can post some of these videos and pictures! Our itinerary tomorrow is to go finish our adoption paperwork w/the registration office and the notary. Once complete, our adoption will be final! Yea God! Well, I’m going to finish this so I can get off to sleep. Talk to you soon!

Gotcha Day – Part 2

2010-02-17T05:13:00.000-07:00

Good evening, everyone! Well…..we’ve got her! It took us about 40 harrowing minutes to drive to the orphanage! I have to say that I’ve never seen anything like it! Lanes, lines, signs, lights, pedestrians, other cars and buses – they mean absolutely nothing in traffic in Chengdu! We narrowly avoided 1 accident on the way but managed to arrive safely – Praise God! At any rate, once we arrived, they brought us into a room at the orphanage where we started our paperwork and suddenly looked up and there she was! We barely had a chance to get our cameras out and start shooting before they were walking over to us. I, of course, sobbed my little heart out and the next thing I knew, she was in my arms. She did get a little overwhelmed and due to us arriving at nap time, promptly fell asleep in my arms. She’s beautiful and seems to be in good health despite a good case of constipation. We’re so incredibly thankful for our CCAI rep, Anita, who has been with us every single step of the way. We ended up being at the orphanage for a total of an hour and then braved the crazy traffic to get back to our hotel. The afternoon was a little rough for a while but once we were able to treat the constipation and get some fluid into her, Jing Jing (her nick name. We’ll eventually call her Jasmine but want her to feel as comfortable as possible.) started to perk up and play a bit with us. We even got a couple of smiles and thankfully, the evening has gone much better than the rest of the day!

Thanks to all of you for your amazing support and powerful prayers on our behalf! We are continuing to trust God in all areas of bonding, sleep strength and multi-tasking! Our itinerary has slightly changed. Tomorrow, we’ll go back to finalize our adoption paperwork at the registry & then the notary. I believe that everything is final tomorrow, instead of Wednesday. Wednesday, we’ll be touring the Panda reservation and on Thursday, Anita made plans for us to shop for cultural souvenirs for part of the day. On Friday, we depart to Guangzhou.

That’s the scoop for now but in the meantime, enjoy 1 of the pics of our new little girl!

Gotcha Day – Part 1

2010-02-17T05:12:00.001-07:00

Good morning from Chengdu! Well, it’s definitely looking like our communication will be more limited while we’re here! Sniff, sniff. At any rate, we’ll see if we’ll have a better ability to communicate when we get to Guangzhou. We’ll be here until 2/5 and then we’ll fly to Guangzhou for the remainder of our trip. In the meantime, we’ll still keep a journal and take lots of pics that we hope to share with you, worse case scenario, when we get back into the states!

So TODAY is GOTCHA day! Yea God! It’s hard to believe that this day has finally come! We’re going to be meeting in the lobby of our hotel and will actually get to drive to Jasmine’s orphanage to get her and Bodie (the new son of the other family we’re traveling with)! We’ll have an opportunity to meet the nannies and see where she’s been living this past year. We were told that she has been told that she’s going to be adopted so we’ll see how she reacts when she sees us. I had sent a care package to her months ago w/a little baby book with our pictures in it and I’ve been praying that they’ve been showing her the pictures all of this time. Regardless, God has been preparing our little daughter for us just as He’s been preparing us for her and we are trusting Him to work all of those details out!

At any rate, thank you all for your prayers and support! We'll be talking to you soon!

Chengdu

2010-02-17T05:07:00.000-07:00

Well, we have made it safely to Chengdu! We left this morning around 11:10 on Air China to Chengdu and made it to mainland China. Talk about 2 different worlds! The brown smog left a very thick layer over the city and the traffic was the craziest we’ve ever seen! Our CCAI rep, Anita, picked us up after we came out of baggage claim and directed us to the van where the other family in our group, Jon, Amy, Jill & Kai were waiting. We took a very harrowing ride through the city to our hotel, the Crowne Plaza Hotel. Anita will be staying with us at the hotel as very few people speak English here – way different than Hong Kong! She gave us all of our instructions and more details to our itinerary for the next few days while we’re here in Chengdu.

Tomorrow is the day we get Jasmine. We’ll actually get to go to her orphanage and see where she’s been living. Our other family will be adopting a little boy from the same orphanage so we’ll all be going together. I have to say that as excited as I am, I’ve also been feeling overwhelmed and a little afraid. What if I don’t bond well w/Jasmine? What if she doesn’t bond w/us? What if I can’t handle 2 kids? Then what? What if I don’t love my 2nd child as much as I love my first? I continue to wrestle w/giving these worries over to God. I give them over and then take them back, give them over, take them back. I wish I could just give them over and be done with it. I have to keep reminding myself that it’s God’s job to knit my family together and He’s already done that. I just need to do my part. He hasn’t left us alone to our own devices for 1 single part of this adoption so why would He start now?

So, something that you can pray for (besides me setting my fears in God’s hands & leaving them there) is our adjustment to mainland China. It’s VERY different than Hong Kong and won’t be as easy as Hong Kong. Food-wise, it’s going to be a much bigger challenge than Hong Kong, especially for Lily, which causes us more stress. Please pray that even in these details, we’ll be able to leave them in God’s hands and trust His provision. Thank you God for prompting me to bring the snacks that I did!

Thank you all for all of your prayers and your support! We couldn’t do this without you! We’ll update you soon!

Hong Kong Disney

2010-02-17T04:29:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone. So, as promised, I just wanted to share about our experience at Disneyland. What a blast! First, we decided to take the train as Disney is on Lantau Island and we were in the area of Kowloon. We were a little intimidated but had gathered some courage after wandering around a few places by ourselves so, armed w/our trusty map, we set off to find the station. We actually did amazingly well, considering it was our first time wandering around a foreign country w/o assistance! We eventually figured out the maps to Disney and finally purchased our tickets and set off on our adventure. Disneyland itself really turned out to be a magical experience for us. We continued to be objects of focus, primarily because of Lily. We had been told ahead of time how the Chinese are fascinated w/blond haired little girls and that definitely turned out to be true. Everywhere we went, people were interacting w/her, sometimes touching her hair or asking to take pictures w/her or asking for hugs. Disney was no exception! She made all kinds of friends while we were waiting in line to get in. We decided to purchase a stroller (mostly for our overly heavy & uncomfortable backpack & coats which we didn’t end up needing) and while we were doing that we were approached by 1 of the park employees who asked if we would be the Grand Marshalls of the Disney Parade that afternoon at 3:30. We thought they were putting us in a drawing w/a number of families so we agreed, thinking what an honor it was to be nominated. (Ha!)

At any rate, we set off on our adventure checking out all of Adventure land and then to lunch & then Fantasyland. We stood in line to take pictures w/2 of the princesses and had another one of those celebrity moments w/Lily. When it was her turn to take pictures w/the princesses, people came out of nowhere and were lined in a semi-circle around her like paparazzi, cameras in hand, shooting pictures of the little blond American girl. It was really hysterical to watch! She just charmed the socks off of everyone she met.

Ironically, one of the last rides we decided to check out before we went back to see if we had won the Grand Marshall drawing, was “It’s a Small World.” While we were in line, we met a guy named Jeff from Orlando on the same ride. We got to chatting and come to find out that he and his wife had adopted 2 little girls from China! What are the odds?! He’s currently working in Germany was out here on business. We had a great time sharing w/each other about our adoptions, our girls, etc. After saying goodbye & joking about it being a small world, we just shook our heads and thought, once again how we LOVE how God is in the tiniest of details!

But, the best was yet to come. When we got back to City Hall, we found out that there was no drawing! They had chosen our family (let’s be honest – they chose Lily) to be the Grand Marshalls of the Disney Parade! What a trip! They had us relax in a little room while they got things ready. They had embroidered Mickey Mouse hats w/each of our names and gave us padded hands to wave in the parade. We even got an official certificate! They walked us through the streets to the Grand Marshall car and made an announcement about the Youngs from the United States of America. It was so surreal! The whole time, Lily was waving like she had been born to do it.

We left after the parade finished, too wiped out to do anything more but go back to the hotel, eat dinner and go to bed!

We're Baaaackkkk!

2010-02-15T22:15:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone. We made it home safely tonight - a bit worn out, but grateful that our girls survived the trip. Donna will be updating the blog more this week. Apparently, in mainland China, blogging and Facebook are not allowed, so Donna kept a journal of updates that she'll post, along with new pictures. Thank you all for your prayers and support. We never could have done this on our own. Praise God for His faithfulness. We'll be in touch soon.

Hong Kong Disney was a blast!

2010-01-30T17:25:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone! It's 8:25am on Sunday in Hong Kong. I'm going to have to apologize for the short blog. We're minutes away from needing to check out and head out to the airport to catch our flight to Chengdu. Yesterday was a total blast at Disney! I can give you a little teaser and say that we were the Grand Marshalls at Disney yesterday and Lily charmed them all! After we get settled in our new hotel this afternoon, I'll update you on our adventures at Disneyland and what our next day or so will look like. Thanks again for all of your prayers! God has been so incredibly good to us in this process and once again I have to say that we feel blessed in abundance! Miss you all and talk to you very soon! :-)

Last full day in Hong Kong!

2010-01-29T15:25:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! So we're now on Saturday morning, Hong Kong time and it's our last full day here. Tomorrow we fly to Chengdu and then Monday we get our baby girl! Wow! So today, we're ambitiously going to try and take the trains to Disneyland! Say a prayer we take all of the right ones! We're excited to do something fun that Lily will especially enjoy and can't wait to post some more pictures of our exciting adventures tonight when we get back. I also got around to posting the pics that I meant to do last night so enjoy! I'll have the full set on my facebook page so be sure to check that as I've got all of the videos posted there as well.

Miss you all and thanking God for all of you and your prayers!

Tour of Hong Kong

2010-01-29T07:12:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone. We have had quite the full day in Hong Kong today! Our tour went from about 8:45-ish to about 2:30 or so! We have been all over Hong Kong and have gotten to see amazing skyscrapers, gorgeous greenery, fishing boats, shopping at Stanley market and a ton of fog. We went to Northpoint which is on the Eastern part of Hong Kong, Victoria's Point (which is the highest part of Hong Kong), Aberdeen (the fishing village) where we did a boat tour and Stanley Market. And then, after dinner, we walked along the promenade to Avenue of the Stars and got to see the laser show that they put on every night from 8 to 8:15. I am pooped! Despite the overcast day and tons of fog, we still could appreciate the beauty of this city and can understand why so many fall in love with Hong Kong. Our miracles of the day have been that we woke up pretty refreshed and so far have not experienced any more jet lag, we have continued to stay healthy and we have rapidly started to feel more comfortable and less intimidated in a new culture! Praise God! Well, I am actually so brain-dead right now that I'm going to hand this over to Jim and he can share some things he found interesting about today. Thanks so much everyone for all of your prayers!

My (Jim) favorite part of the day was learning how important Feng Shui (pronounced Fung Shway) is in the Chinese culture. If I had to define the term, I'd say it means positive energy, or something like that. Anyway, people pay top dollar to buy vehicle license plates with the right numbers, and feng shui influences where people live, and even where they're buried. One large building has a pool on the top. It's not for swimming, but was added for feng shui value. Apparently, the builder sought the advice of a feng shui consultant who said the building looked like a cigarette and would burn up one day. So, the consultant recommended a feng shui facelift, which included the pool that no one swims in. Sounds like part of the Obama spendulus package to me.

I loved getting to the top of Victoria Point and seeing the breathtaking view of pure fog. Now I really know what it's like to have my head in the clouds. Fortunately, Donna got a great picture of the map that showed us what we could have been seeing on a clear day.

While taking a water taxi ride through the Aberdeen area, we noticed several people with their dogs on their boats. Now there's a logistical problem. What do they do when Spot needs to go potty? Just something to think about.

Thank God we didn't have to drive. I can't count the number of times I thought we were going to crash, and I wasn't even driving. In China, driving on the wrong side of the road is an art form. I'm pretty sure the guy driving our tour bus could have navigated the narrow road up to Pike's Peak at 60 mph - no problem.

Even though we've been in Hong Kong less than 48 hours, I'm amazed at how relaxed I feel. Now that we're here, I no longer feel any stress or pressure wondering how God is going to pull the details together. His provision for this journey has been miraculous, so we no longer stress over the financial end. He provided what we needed for this phase in the journey and we know He will provide for the rest of our needs, in His perfect timing.

Well, it's off to bed for us. Tomorrow morning we go to Disneyland and we'll need our rest if we hope to keep up with Lily. Thanks to all who are reading our blog. We appreciate your support and your prayers. God's blessings to each of you.

Good night.

Good morning!

2010-01-28T17:24:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone. I'll make this kind of quick as we need to get ready to go on our tour shortly. Our CCAI guide, Matthew, arranged for us to take a 1/2 day tour of Hong Kong today so we'll be taking off shortly to go do that. We managed to stay up until 4pm-ish yesterday and then went to bed and slept mostly on and off until 5:45 this morning. It's Friday morning in Hong Kong and we've just come back from our breakfast buffet. Yummy! I stole...uh took some bread and fruit from our buffet and will be making some peanut butter sandwiches with some peanut butter I brought from home to have for lunch today. Since our tour is about 4-5 hours, I wanted to make sure we were able to bring something to eat. I have to say I am SO GLAD that I brought the snacks for Lily that I did. That's going to be extremely helpful as so far I haven't really found anything familiar (other than bottled water) food-wise. The hotel did have a nice combination of American foods for breakfast so that was nice. We had some questionable chicken sandwiches last night from McDonald's (of all places) but thankfully, God has protected our systems! I'd say that's another miracle - we haven't gotten sick so far! Yea God!

At any rate, we'll post some pictures later tonight of our adventures today. Thank you all for your prayers! They have so made a difference! We're starting to feel a little more comfortable and a little less intimidated by everything so that's good. And, we're all feeling pretty good today so I'm thankful for that as well! Yea God. Well, we'll talk to you all soon!

Good afternoon from Hong Kong

2010-01-27T22:41:00.002-07:00

Hi everyone! WE MADE IT!!!! Yea God! Despite a few pretty scary-hang-on-to-Jesus-turbulence moments, we made it safe and sound. Lily did fantastic on the trip so thank you all for your prayers! She really was a trooper and despite how tired she was, the meltdowns were minimal so I'd say that was one of our miracles for the day for sure. I've also got to say that Singapore Air is a first class airline all the way! They gave us hot, wet towels for our faces right after take-off and before landing, yummy food in between, & great snacks. The seats were a little tight but our first 15 hour international flight experience couldn't have gone much better.

We arrived in Hong Kong around 7 am on Thursday - 15 hours a head of Colorado! What a trip to be essentially emailing and calling from the future! :-) At any rate, we were able to hook up w/our CCAI guide, Matthew, who took us right to the hotel and got us checked in early. He's arranged for us to take a 1/2 day bus tour tomorrow of Hong Kong which will be fun. On Saturday, we're going to be really ambitious and take the train(s) to Disneyland. Being here has been quite the culture shock, not so much race-wise but we've felt very intimidated about being in a foreign country where we have to be extremely careful of drinking their water and eating some of the foods. We literally feel like we're putting ourselves in God's hands and literally having to trust Him for His provision.

On the humorous side, we had kind of a funny experience while walking along Victoria Harbour, which is just blocks from our hotel. We had been told by our former social worker that the Chinese people are fascinated w/blond haired little girls and that they'll often just come up and pick them up, hug on them, or whatever. Well, we were walking along Avenue of the Stars which is the Hong Kong equivalent of the Hollywood walk of fame. As we were walking we came up on a large group of Chinese women who were posing for a picture. When they caught sight of Lily, they all came rushing up (like she was a movie star) and started taking pictures of her, and taking turns picking her up to pose one-on-one with her. If we hadn't been prepared for that, we would have been a little freaked out but the ladies were all very sweet and Lily, of course, was in her element! Jim had our video camera at the time, so I couldn't get this on video (this time) but I do have a few pics that I'll be posting of some of these precious women.

At any rate, we're now back in our hotel room, trying to stay awake until we can have a light dinner and go to bed so I'm going to cut this short for now. I'd like to get some of these pictures uploaded before I lose steam. We'll have more adventures to share tomorrow but for now we want to continue to thank you all for your support and prayers! This has been such an incredible journey (in more ways than one) and you have all made such an incredible difference in our lives. Enjoy the pictures and definitely email us! Thanks for the continued prayers for the final provisions and for our health and safety! We appreciate you all more than you know! Talk to you soon.

Good morning from San Francisco!

2010-01-26T15:12:00.001-07:00

Hi everyone. Well, the miracles for today so far are we landed safely in San Francisco, they did NOT lose our luggage & the hotel let us check in early! Yea God! We have been hanging out in our hotel since early this morning, eating, swimming and sleeping! Jim has to keep pinching me because I still can't believe that we are ON OUR WAY to get our new daughter!

I tried to upload a mini-video from this morning but am having trouble figuring it ou. I'll keep trying and let you know if I have any success. Thanks to all of you who are praying for us! We have felt your prayers and are especially thankful as this next leg - from San Francisco to Hong Kong at midnight is going to be especially brutal. Please pray that we would all (especially Lily & Jim) be able to get decent sleep on the plane. 15 hours is daunting but even in this, we are trusting God to watch over us and provide His strength. Talk to you soon!

Miracles of the day....

2010-01-25T19:43:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone. So today, I asked God to invade my day and do what He wants to do today. I wanted to share with you all what God did today. We've been praying for Jim's co-worker who's adopting 2 little girls from Haiti and today we found out that the 2 girls are now in CO w/their forever family! Praise God for that miracle! Then we had another precious co-worker give Jim $250 towards our adoption. Once again, praise God for His incredible provision! Finally, after posting what I thought was one of my worst postings ever (lack of sleep has hampered my brain and ability to communicate), I heard from several people that they felt encouraged. Yea God! When we are weak, He is strong! I can't wait to see what God does tomorrow! We'll try and post some more once we get to San Francisco but continue to Praise Him for His faithfulness and provision. Thank you all for your prayers and support and we'll talk to you soon!

1 DAY!!!!!

2010-01-25T08:52:00.000-07:00

Wow! I can hardly believe that we leave early in the morning! Somebody pinch me! :-) We're pretty much done w/all of our packing. We were up late last night and Saturday night refining our packing. Thank God we had started packing weeks ago! We wouldn't have had any sleep this weekend otherwise.

In addition to getting packed, we had yet another incredible time at church yesterday. We went to church, struggling again with whether or not the rest of the monies needed would come in and wondering how God would provide and were reminded AGAIN of how small our faith is and how big God is. Our Pastor said that "worry is a declaration that we don't trust God." Ouch. It's funny but I don't have a problem believing that God can do miracles for other people, but when it comes to myself, it's a whole other story. He's certainly challenging me on that one this year! We've had miracle after miracle despite all of the heartaches. I believe that this past year for us was all about a deepening in our relationship w/Jesus. Our adoption of Jasmine is exciting for sure but not even as exciting as getting to know Jesus better and deepening our characters. Our journey to Jasmine has turned into a journey to Jesus and I can't wait to see how He continues our story with Him!

One of the many miracles that we've experienced since we have attended this church is how God has been speaking to us. Each week, we've gotten filled up, healed, encouraged, supported and lifted up. Yesterday was no exception and I wanted to share with you some of how God encouraged us (yet again). We had again just an incredible time in worship and I wanted to share a couple of the songs with you. One of them is "Let God Arise" by Chris Tomlin.

"Hear the holy roar of God resound
Watch the waters part before us now
Come and see what He has done for us
Tell the world of His great love

Our God is a God who saves
Our God is a God who saves

Let God arise
Let God arise
Our God reigns now and forever
He reigns now and forever

His enemies will run for sure
The church will stand, she will endure
He holds the keys of life, our Lord
Death has no sting, no final word"

We have seen Him part those waters for us, time and time again in 2009 and now in 2010. He has saved us in so many ways and so for us, this was such a great reminder of all that God has done on our behalf and WILL continue to do. He WILL NOT leave us hanging! Praise God!

"God Be Praised" by Desperation Band was another song that really encouraged us yesterday. My favorite part is "Out of ashes You, lifted us. To the table You came and filled our cups. Every heart and soul, All we are and more, Praise the Lord." In some ways, we're continually reminded of what we came from but how God has restored and filled what was taken away. We feel so incredibly thankful for His faithfulness in our lives in every way.

"Across the earth we see, worshippers believe.
Hear our song,
Praise to our God, praise to our God.

From dawn to dusk we'll be, lifting up our King.
Hear our song,
Praise to our God, praise to our God.

Bringing honor to Your majesty,
There's no other like the King of all Kings.

God be praised,
All the glory to Your awesome name,
All creation rising up to say we know,
Our God reigns.

Our broken lives were changed, when You broke the night with day.
Hear our song,
Praise to our God, praise to our God.

Bringing honor to Your majesty,
There's no other like the King of all Kings.

God be praised,
All the glory to Your awesome name,
All creation rising up to say we know,
Our God reigns.

God be praised,
All the glory to Your awesome name,
Though the earth will shake and battles rage we know,
Our God reigns.

Out of ashes You, lifted us.
To the table You came and filled our cups.
Every heart and soul,
All we are and more,
Praise the Lord.

God be praised,
All the glory to Your awesome name,
All creation rising up to say we know,
Our God reigns."

The other one I wanted to share is "Savior" by Desperation Band. I've shared this before but God has really used these lyrics to really heal our hearts after leaving our old church. He reminded us once again that He is all of these things to us and will continue to be.

"I have seen with my own eyes your faithfulness, oh, God.
I refuse to believe the lies that war against my soul.
You rescued me from all my fears, and loosed the chains of
wasted years.

You're my Savior, restorer, rebuilder, rewarder.
My refuge, redeemer, defender, my healer, Savior

Now my heart is overwhelmed by all sufficient grace.
For I have found my weaknesses become your perfect strength.
You rescued me from all my fears, and loosed the chains of
was - ted years.

You're my Savior, restorer, rebuilder, rewarder.
My refuge, redeemer, defender, my healer, Savior

Behold the One who holds me in His hands.
The God who comes and turns my mourning
into dance.

You're my Savior, restorer, rebuilder, rewarder.
My refuge, redeemer, defender, my healer, Savior"

Wow! How amazing is He, that He, the God of the universe, takes so much time and effort to come alongside of us and encourage us?! How humbling and amazing!

The last thing I wanted to share is that one of the things that our pastor encouraged us to do every day this week was to invite God to invade our lives and to expect miracles. I have to say that I can't wait to see what kinds of miracles God will do this week as we depart for China! Interesting timing, don't you think?! I'll leave you all with this scripture which I think will be our theme for our trip, Philippians 4:19 "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." He will meet our financial needs, our emotional needs, our need for sleep and health, our spiritual needs and any other need I can't think of. Amen to that!

Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement! This continues to be an exciting adventure and we love that you are all a part of it with us. Talk to you soon!

Our Itinerary

2010-01-23T08:56:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! It's hard to believe we're only 3 days away from leaving for China! Yea God! I posted a copy of our itinerary below the pics of Jasmine so you all have an idea of what we'll be up to while we're there. Again, we're hoping to post updates almost every day (other than when on the plane) so you can all see what we're up to. We'll be finalizing all of our packing this weekend and then we'll be off early on Tuesday morning! We've had 2 more gifts of $125 come in towards our adoption - you all rock! We are so incredibly thankful for how God is providing in our journey to Jasmine! Between adopting Lily and now Jasmine, we have had the most amazing journeys and wouldn't change a thing with how God has knit our family together. Well, I'm off to do the last loads of laundry before we leave and then clean, clean, clean! Who says I don't know how to have fun?! :-) We love and miss you all and we'll talk to you soon!

New provision...

2010-01-21T16:12:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone. Praise God for His great timing and provision! We had $1200 come in yesterday and today for our adoption and I finally slept last night! Only $6300 to go! Thank you all for your prayers on our behalf! We're still praying for the grant agency to come through but we'll see what God does. Either way, we're incredibly thankful and grateful that God loves us and Jasmine enough to provide for us and are trusting Him for the rest. We are truly humbled and blessed. I can't believe we're 5 days away from leaving for China! Our official pick up date of Jasmine is 2/1. 1 week from Monday, I'll be holding our new daughter in my arms and kissing her precious cheeks. It seems so surreal to even say that! I wonder all the time if she's getting lots of love from her foster mom, are they showing her our pictures, etc? How will she react when she sees us? Will she be scared, shy, upset, happy? I can't wait to see Lily's face when she sees Jasmine in person for the first time. How will she react, etc? Amazing! Our God is so good and I can't imagine our lives without Him. To give us two amazing and precious girls - what an incredible gift!

Thank you all again for all of your prayers and encouragement on our behalf! We thank God for all of you as well and may God bless each one of you in a special way for the role you have played in our adoption! We'll continue to keep you posted and talk to you soon!

Continuing to pray for a miracle

2010-01-20T11:33:00.000-07:00

Hi all! It's hard to believe that we are 6 days from leaving! Yea God! I wonder when it will all sink in. :-) At any rate, we are continuing to cling to God for His provision for the remainder of our adoption. We found out on Monday that we were turned down for another grant so we've almost exhausted those resources. We have no idea how God is going to do the rest but we continue to choose to trust that God will not leave us high and dry. We're hoping that 1 or both of these last 2 grant agencies will come through and have compassion on our journey but we just don't know. Ultimately, we keep reminding ourselves that the money is God's job, not ours. Please continue to pray for provision for us and for our strength and faith as we are exhausted.

In the meantime, we're continuing to finish our packing, organizing paperwork, getting ready for our travel conference call with our agency, etc. We are continuing to pray for safe travels and health for all of us. Thanks so much for all your prayers and encouragement! Every single one is lifting us up and making a difference!

We continue to lift up the precious people in Haiti and ask for safety and protection from the looters as well as for the provisions to make it in the areas that need it most. We're continuing to pray that the State Dept. will bring more orphans home to their forever families and have celebrated those precious 54 that arrived yesterday! Yea God!

Well, that's the latest and greatest with us. Thanks again for all of your prayers on our behalf!

Encouragement

2010-01-15T22:35:00.000-07:00

Ah, God is so good. As we were wrestling through all of this tonight, God laid a passage on Jim's heart that I want to share with you. Isaiah 40:30-31 says "Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion. But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." Praise God for His encouragement (& perfect timing) and may this encourage you as it has us tonight.

It's in!

2010-01-15T21:22:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! Well, we finally got our in-China travel totals in today....$4200 (not including food and some of the cash fees we need to pay). Ouch. So, as much as we were depending on God before, we're really clinging now! The good news is that we do have the cash to submit this amount to CCAI along w/our orphanage fee of $5100. The scary part is that we're about $7500 short and so God's gotta come through! We are both scared spit-less right now and would really appreciate your prayers for our faith and for God's provision for the $7500 that we need. We are trusting Him with every ounce of our beings for Him to come through in the next 11 days but we are tired and weary right now. It's been a long 2 weeks of not sleeping well and we're also dealing w/some acting out behaviors with Lily. We need some of this money to come in BEFORE we leave, as it's needed for some fees that we have to pay when we get to China. We need God to do a miracle and we are clinging to Him to do that. Please pray for us and pray for these remaining funds to come in in the next week! Go, God, go! I'll share more later but thanks so much for your prayers and encouragement. We appreciate you all and thank God for you.

Prayer for Haiti!

2010-01-13T11:56:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! Join us in praying for Haiti! What a horrible disaster to hit any country, let alone one so poverty stricken! We are donating to the Red Cross for disaster relief for Haiti and encourage all of you to give generously to the charity of your choice as well. It's times like this where we need to be the hands and feet of Jesus...I just wish we could give more!

No new updates to report on our adoption. We're still awaiting our in-China travel and hotel totals to come in. Apparently CCAI is working to try and join another family to our little family group (which will help bring down our in-China costs) so we're having to wait while they do that. We're praying that we have enough cash to cover those expenses and are trusting and clinging to God to bring in the final amounts that we need. We're hoping to have everything in place before we leave be we also recognize that God may have a different plan. Thank you all for your incredible support, love and prayers on our behalf! We are so humbled and thankful for all of you - you have each made a huge difference in our lives and we'll be forever grateful!

In the meantime, we wait and countdown! Only 13 more days until our departure! Wow, I can't believe it's almost here! Sleep has been getting more and more difficult...perhaps God's way of preparing me? I am continually trying to keep my focus on God. On Sunday, our pastor shared that "you worship what you focus on." Ouch! How true that is! So, we're both desperately trying to focus on God and not on the how's and why's and what's. I want my worship to go to Him alone and not what He can do for me.

Well, thank you all again and I'll hopefully have some more updates in the next couple of days. Thank you all for your prayers! We need them! We love you and we'll talk to you soon!

Happy Birthday Jasmine!

2010-01-08T08:47:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! We just wanted to wish our precious girl a Happy 1st Birthday today! We wish we were there to celebrate with you but we'll make up for lost time when we see you. :-)

We hope the new year continues to find you all doing well. We're kind of in wait mode right now. Our agency has had groups leave for China almost every day this week so we're hoping that, with most of those groups on their way, we'll be able to hear back on our in-China reservations and expenses. We have our to-China flights and hotels booked so we're set there. We have almost everything we need for our trip and have started to pack so we're doing good there. We're also continuing to wait on all 3 grant agencies to see if any will come alongside of us as we still have $5k (approx.) left to raise. We may not hear back from any until we leave so it will, once again, be an interesting and exciting faith step!

One other thing that we've put in motion is that we will be dedicating Jasmine on March 7th at the 9am service at our church. Jeff, the pastor that has been a huge source of encouragement and wisdom for us w/our old church, has agreed to pray over us and Jasmine at that service. They do baby dedications on the first Sunday of every month and sometimes will have multiple families dedicating babies at once. We can't wait to finally be able to physically lift our daughter to God before the whole church and dedicate ourselves to raising her to love Jesus! What a privilege we've been given! :-) If you're in town, come and join us! Otherwise, we'll try and post some pics and video of that time so you all can enjoy with us! :-)

In other parts of our lives, our church has had 10 prayer meetings this week - 6:30 am & pm to usher in the new year. They've asked us to try and attend 5 but we can only go to 3 (tonight being the 3rd). It has been the MOST incredible prayer & worship times I've EVER experienced! We've prayed for the church, the city, the nation, the sick, etc. It's been so incredibly powerful and I can't wait to see what God does out of all of this. We've already seen God do some powerful miracles in our lives in 2009 and can't wait to see what He does in 2010!

Lily has had a great week back to preschool. We were able to get her a spot for next year as well so we're really excited about that. This staff has been incredible and we've really seen Lily grow emotionally by leaps and bounds, especially in this last month or two. Her teachers tell us she's very smart (but, of course!) and by attending preschool for 1 more year, emotionally she'll be ready for kindergarten by the following year. She misses the cut-off for kindergarten next year by only 15 days so maybe it's a blessing in disguise. She's also been getting excited to go to China and get her sister. It's so precious to hear her talk about the things she wants to do or show her sister! God is so good!

Well, that's the latest and greatest with us. We continue to thank God and pray for all of you and can't wait to share our precious girl with you all! Talk to you soon!

Happy New Year!!!!

2010-01-02T17:33:00.000-07:00

Happy New Year everyone! We had a great time with some wonderful friends for New Year's Eve. We continue to see God's provision as a co-worker of Jim's annonymously left $100 at his desk on Thursday and then another precious friend gave us another $100 that night. We are so humbled and amazed at how God has provided and continue to thank Him for all of you! Additionally, He's provided (from 2 different people) a ride to the airport when we depart on 1/26 and a ride home when we get back! We are thankful for every detail He has put together!

It's hard to believe in 24 days, we'll be leaving for China! We can't wait to hold our precious little girl in our arms and eventually see that precious face smile! We are continuing to trust God for the rest of the monies needed and for all of the little details that need to come together between now and when we leave. We also can't wait to see what God has in store for us this year and pray that you and your families' are blessed beyond imagination! We love you!

We've booked our tickets!

2009-12-30T17:15:00.000-07:00

Yea God! We have FINALLY booked our tickets! We are leaving on January 26th and coming back on February 15th. It's a longer stay, but because of all of the flights being booked for Chinese New Year, we had to stay an extra 2 days to get out on Singapore Air. I sure hope they're worth it! :-)

At any rate, we're continuing to trust God to provide as our expenses will include a total of 4 extra days of hotels and meals. I guess He'll just sell off an extra cow or two. :-) We'll continue to keep you posted and thanks again for your prayers and support!

Another unexpected miracle

2009-12-30T10:17:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! Thanks so much for all of your prayers and encouraging notes on my FB page! We are so excited to be finally in count-down mode and it's so great to be able to share this with all of you.

To quickly update you, we are still waiting to hear on our airline tickets w/Singapore Air. Our travel agency had followed up yesterday and were asked by Singapore Air to follow up today. Today is when we need to book our tickets so we're really hoping that one way or another, we'll be able to stay on Singapore Air but ultimately are trusting God to work out His plan and not ours. Yes, even w/tickets, God has a plan!

Our current miracle that we are praising God for is we found out yesterday that we will be able to wire our orphanage fee to our orphanage. Why is this a big deal to us? Well, our province wasn't originally one of the few that we could wire that fee to. The fee is a little over $5000 CASH that we would have to carry on our persons with us to China PLUS the other cash that we would need. Jim, especially, has been nervous about carrying all of that cash while we travel so this is a HUGE load off of both of our minds to be able to wire that ahead of time and not stress so much! Yea God! And the other cool thing is that we didn't even ask our agency to ask the orphanage - they did it on their own and surprised us yesterday! I LOVE it when God takes care of things without us even having to ask!!! SOOOOOOOO AMAZING! We are so incredibly humbled and thankful for all of the details that God has taken care of on our behalf! We don't deserve any of this and yet God has gone above and beyond to care for our every need! Praise God for His incredible faithfulness and grace!

So today, we continue to wait and see how God will work out our travel and see how He'll continue to provide the rest of the monies we need to adopt our little girl. We hope that one of these grant agencies will come through so all of our funds will be taken care of but ultimately, we trust God to work all things out.

I wanted to ask you all to also pray for our former church situation. We're continuing to have people come to us with a variety of questions and would ask for your prayers over what we say and how we handle things. We don't want to dishonor God in this process....He's been dishonored enough. His church is hurting and desperately needs the healing it's being denied. Pray for God's will to prevail and for healing over the many who are hurting but don't know why. Pray that we would honor God with our words and our actions and for healing for our hearts also.

Thank you all so much for all of your encouragement and support! You have all played a MAJOR role in bringing Jasmine home and helping us keep our arms raised and we are so thankful for all of you! We continue to PRAISE God for His AMAZING provision, encouragement, love and grace! Yea God!

Consulate appointment arrived today!

2009-12-28T20:47:00.000-07:00

Well, we continue to Praise God and laugh aloud at His incredible timing! I LOVE His sense of humor! We got our consulate appointment today for Feb 9th which means that we will be looking to depart for China on 1/26 or 1/27 depending on how the airfare arrangements work out. We've been in touch with all 3 travel agents that were recommended by CCAI and all 3 have made tentative reservations for us to review. As I look things over, I am, once again, reminded of God's incredible attention to detail. We were talking things through last night to figure out what would be the easiest & simplest for Lily & Jasmine and came up with a "wishlist", if you will, of how we'd like to travel. We are hoping to travel out of Colorado Springs as it will be closer to our house and be easier to get transportation to and from the airport. We are hoping for direct flights on each leg, red eye flights as it will work better w/both girls' schedules and finally we're really hoping to find flights on Singapore Air as we're told they're #1 as far as family-friendly. The only problem, we're finding out, is that most airlines are booked to the hilt because of Chinese New Year so flights have been hard to find. Well, 1 of our travel agents has come up w/an itinerary that accomplishes all of those things and prices out at around $3600 for all of us (GREAT DEAL)! The only hiccup is that we're currently waitlisted on the Hong Kong flight coming home and should find out tomorrow if we'll be able to get that flight. We'd greatly appreciate your prayers that, if this itinerary is God's plan for us, He'll work it out for us to get onto that last flight home. Either way, we're trusting Him to work all of these things out for what's best for our girls and are so thankful that He's taking care of us!

We should hear tomorrow about that flight so we'll keep you posted. In the meantime, we continue to Praise God for His faithfulness and His provision...even in the tiniest of details! We are so excited to go get our little girl and can hardly believe that in about 29 days, we'll be going to bring her home! Thank so much for all of your encouragement, prayers and celebration on our behalf! We are truly humbled and so incredibly thankful for all of you. And we are so thankful that our God takes care of our every need! We can't wait to see how He finishes this process!

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

2009-12-28T08:53:00.000-07:00

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year from our family to yours! We had a wonderful time hanging out with my family this year. Christmas Eve, we went to 1 of the earlier services at our church and then came home and had some family time reading the Christmas story and then opened gifts. Christmas Day, we opened our stockings and eventually headed to my sister's house for a beautiful Christmas dinner. The thankfulness that we have felt throughout these past weeks continued to touch us on Christmas Day. We feel so incredibly thankful for God sending His son for us so that we can have a relationship with Him! We feel so thankful for family and friends and really enjoyed spending time with my family as well as my brother, who was able to fly out. The day after Christmas, my family came over to my house and we feasted on homemade chili, cornbread, salsa dip & fruit....yummi! That night, my sister agreed to spend the night so we were able to spend some wonderful time together and then attend church together yesterday. What a wonderful time we all had!

Needless to say, this has been one of the best Christmases the Young family has ever experienced! As we've reflected back over the year, we've been blown away by God's incredible faithfulness to us and His amazing provision. While this has been an incredibly tough year, it has been one of the best because of all that God has done for us and how He's grown us. We are so humbled that the God of the universe loves us so much to be such a huge part of our lives! Yesterday at church, the Pastor asked us all to think about how God had intervened in our lives in 2009. We were so humbled and touched to think of time and time and time and TIME again, of God's intervention over this past year.

We continue to Praise God for all that He has done and for all of you! Since I last blogged, God brought in another $3100 for our adoption! We are estimating that we only need between $4000-$5000, depending on the travel costs, to finalize our adoption! Praise God for His provision and thank you, family, for your generous hearts! We still have 2 outstanding grants that may provide so please continue to pray for that final money to come in however God chooses. We should hear back from the US consulate this week about our appointment date and then be able to make our travel arrangements. Wow! Hard to believe that we're leaving in approximately 30 days!

Well, we'll continue to keep you posted and thanks again for all of your prayers and encouragement! We love you and we'll update again soon! :-)

Travel approval is in!

2009-12-23T17:43:00.001-07:00

Hi everyone! So we continue to Praise God for His incredible timing and His provision. We had another person send us a check for $150 so that's almost $2200 raised so far!

Additionally, we got word late yesterday that our travel approval had been mailed and today it arrived! Yaaaaaaaaaa! I found out that we have 90 days from when the travel approval is issued by the Chinese Gov. to travel. The only little hitch in all of this is that right smack dab in the middle of our time frame is the Chinese New Year in which everything shuts down for a week or so. That's on Feb. 14 of this year so we'll either need to go before or in the middle of the Chinese New Year in order to go and get back before 90 days. Chinese New year would be more expensive so we're leaning towards before. We've had to make some very quick decisions but our tentative travel date IS....January 27-Feb. 12th or 13th! Despite the fact that we're still quite a bit short, money-wise, we're going to take a step of faith here and go w/what we feel God laying on our hearts.

What happens from here? Well, I'm glad you asked! What happens from here is that CCAI (our agency) has emailed the US consulate for an appointment time for us. We're thinking we could get that any time next week. Once we have that appt. scheduled, they will then begin making all of the in-China accomodations and we will start to make our travel arrangements and trust that God will provide the rest of the monies needed to bring Jasmine home.

I KNOW! Never a dull moment around here! :-) We're so excited to see how God pulls this all off and can't wait to hold Jasmine in our arms. We appreciate all of your prayers and ask for continued prayers over the 2 outstanding grants as well as the remainder of funds needed to go. We'd also ask for prayers for our health, especially Lily's, during the trip.

Before I go, I wanted to share one more thing. We were at the Doctor's today and on our way out we noticed a TON of pennies scattered all over the floor and parking lot. No one was around that seemed to be looking for them or missing them so we picked them up and counted a total of 97 pennies. Ok, 97 pennies are a lot to just scatter along the ground so we began to "wonder what it means" to each other. Maybe we'll be 97 cents short and this is God's way of providing for our adoption. Who knows? At any rate, I was sharing this with my sister and she said "In God we trust." What? She said that she's heard a number of people who, when they pick up pennies, think of how it says "In God We Trust" on 1 side. Wouldn't that be so like God to let us know 97 times, the day that we get our travel approval, that we can trust Him?! Hmmmmmmmmmmm.

And provides...

2009-12-20T21:08:00.000-07:00

God is so good and we continue to praise and thank Him for His provision for our adoption! We had another check come in yesterday for $150 towards our adoption. That's about $2090 raised! Praise God for His faithfulness and grace towards us! We are incredibly humbled that friends and family would give to help bring Jasmine home. It was an incredible week of unexpected provision and encouragement. We continue to trust and pray for the rest of the monies needed and can't wait to see how God brings everything all together.

We had another incredible morning of worship at our new church. Not as intense as last week but some amazing moments once again. One of the songs called "Here in Your Presence", had some powerful lyrics that I wanted to share.

Found in Your hands, fullness of joy
Every fear suddenly wiped away here in Your presence
All of my gains now fade away
Every crown no longer on display, here in Your presence
Heaven in trembling in awe of Your wonders
the kings and their kingdoms are standing amazed

Chorus:
Here in Your presence, we are undone
Here in Your presence, Heaven and Earth become one
Here in Your presence, all things are new
Here in Your presence, everything bows before You

Bridge:
Wonderful, beautiful, glorious, matchless in every way
Wonderful, beautiful, glorious, matchless in every way
Wonderful, beautiful, glorious, matchless in every way
Wonderful, beautiful, glorious, matchless in every way

We can sing these praises because Jesus came to earth, fully God and fully man. It is because of His life and death and resurrection, that we can have this kind of relationship with the God of the universe. How amazing and humbling! The God of the universe wanted to have a relationship with us and so He sent His precious son. Why? Because a baby isn't scary. We love because He first loved us.

And in Him, all things are made new. Praise God! We hope this Christmas season is one of the most special times you've ever had because of the REAL meaning.

And more provision!

2009-12-17T18:40:00.001-07:00

Yea God! He continues to provide! We received 2 more checks today totaling $1075! God is SO GOOD!

God continues to provide!

2009-12-17T10:44:00.000-07:00

Ok, so sorry about the long last post but....no, I'm really not sorry. :-) God did so much on Sunday alone, that I just had to share. But wait, there's more! Since, Sunday, God has been up to His creative ways again and has sent us some money for our adoption. On Monday, we received 2 checks in the mail from some friends, totaling $515 to go towards our adoption. Totally awesome!

Then, yesterday, the doorbell rang 3 times and the phone rang. As I was trying to juggle finding the phone and answering the door, I saw a little flash of someone running out of the corner of my eye. I giggled to myself as I was figuring our cute neighbor boys were ding dong ditching and thought I'd catch them in the act. I peaked out the window and to my surprise, no one was there. I did see an envelope on our doorstep w/our names on it so I opened the door. I again looked around and could find no one lurking about so I picked up the envelope and went inside. Inside the envelope was a card congratulating us on our adoption and $300 cash! No signature. I was completely shocked and yet laughing at God for bringing us money for our adoption via a ding-dong ditcher!

So far today, God's brought us another $50 through another precious friend! I am truly overwhelmed by God's amazing grace and provision and by precious family and friends who have wanted to partner with us in bringing Jasmine home. God is providing, just like He said He would! God is so good! We continue to praise and trust Him and can't wait to continue to see the creative ways He works everything out. Thank you all for your encouragement and prayers and support! We love you!

Awesome worship or encouragement assault? You be the judge!

2009-12-17T10:33:00.000-07:00

Ok, so once again, God totally rocks! I've been meaning to blog since Sunday but it's taken me part of the week to get some of the info. I wanted to share. So, I think I shared with you that from time to time, we still have waves of grief that hit us about our old church, feelings of anger and bitterness that come up that need to be forgiven again, sadness over the loss of friendships & the lies, etc. Well, on the way to church on Sunday, I was sharing w/ Jim how, I understand that it takes a while to get over things like that but how much I long to be on the other side, completely healed, completely forgiving of all that was done. I was sharing about what a weird combo it is to, on the one hand, feel so much joy and celebration and thankfulness and yet have these waves hit from time to time. I understand the necessity of grieving & re-forgiving as things come up as that's healthy but I'm feeling a little impatient 'cause I really want to fully celebrate right now too. At any rate, we continued to chat about that and then moved on to our adoption, wondering aloud how God was going pull it off, sharing our excitement and fear at the same time.

So, we get to church and once the worship started, it was ALL over for me! I have had God encourage me before but NEVER like He did at this service. The first song was called "Savior" by Ross Parsley and the words go like this....

"I have seen with my own eyes your faithfulness, oh, God.
I refuse to believe the lies that war against my soul.
You rescued me from all my fears, and loosed the chains of
wasted years.

You're my Savior, restorer, rebuilder, rewarder.
My refuge, redeemer, defender, my healer, Savior

Now my heart is overwhelmed by all sufficient grace.
For I have found my weaknesses become your perfect strength.
You rescued me from all my fears, and loosed the chains of
was - ted years.

You're my Savior, restorer, rebuilder, rewarder.
My refuge, redeemer, defender, my healer, Savior

Behold the One who holds me in His hands.
The God who comes and turns my morning
into dance.

You're my Savior, restorer, rebuilder, rewarder.
My refuge, redeemer, defender, my healer, Savior"

Oh, but no, God is not finished yet. The next song was "You Hold it All" by Desperation Band and the lyrics are...

"You breathed and the stars arrived, maching in perfect time into the night.
You spoke and the light appeared, marking the days and years of our lives.

You hold it all together, You hold it all forev - er.
You hold it all, You started it all, You are my all in all.

You loved in the greatest way, giving Your life away for all that was lost.
You conquered the enemy, darkness is trembling, You are alive.

You hold it all together, You hold it all forev - er.
You hold it all, You started it all, You are my all in all.

The Lord is my light and my salvation in life, I will not fear, no, I will not fear.

You hold it all together, You hold it all forev - er.
You hold it all, You started it all, You are my all in all.

I will not fear, I will not fear, ’cause You hold it all."

Oh, but now God's just getting warmed up 'cause the next song is "When I Speak Your Name"

"Jesus, the most beautiful name of all names
Jesus, the only name that brings healing and strength
When I speak your name, mountains move and chains are loosed
When I speak your name, darkness flees, it has no hold on me

Jesus, the most beautiful name that I know, you're the exalted one
And Jesus, you have the power alone. You lift the lowly one, Jesus

Jesus, the most wonderful name of all names
Jesus, the only name that brings freedom and hope
When I speak your name, mountains move, chains are loosed
When I speak your name, darkness flees, it has no hold on me

And Jesus, the most beautiful name that I know, you're the exalted one
And Jesus, you have the power alone. You lift the lowly one, Jesus

Be exalted, Be exalted, Be exalted higher and higher
Be exalted, Be exalted, Be exalted higher and higher

And Jesus, the most beautiful name that I know, you're the exalted one
And Jesus, you have the power alone. You lift the lowly one, Jesus"

Mmmmm-hmmmm. You're feeling it now, aren't you?! Oh, but He still kept going with "Jesus, Name Above All Names"

"Jesus, name above all names
Beautiful Savior, Glorious Lord
Emmanuel, God is with us
Blessed redeemer, Living Word"

And just when I thought my heart would explode, a guy came up to lead us into the offering time and talked about how God has made all things new again. The old is taken away....THEN, they ended the worship and offering with "Amazing Love"

"I’m forgiven because You were forsaken
I’m accepted, You were condemned
I’m alive and well, Your Spirit lives within me
Because You died and rose again

I’m forgiven because You were forsaken
I’m accepted, You were condemned
I’m alive and well, Your Spirit lives within me
Because You died and rose again

Amazing love, how can it be
That You, my King, should die for me?
Amazing love, I know it’s true
It’s my joy to honor You
In all I do, I honor You

I’m forgiven because You were forsaken
I’m accepted, You were condemned
I’m alive and well, Your Spirit lives within me
Because You died and rose again

Amazing love, how can it be
That You, my King, should die for me?
Amazing love, I know it’s true
It’s my joy to honor You
In all I do, I honor You
In all I do, I honor You

You are my King
You are my King
Jesus, You are my King
You are my King

Amazing love, how can it be
That You, my King, should die for me?
Amazing love, I know it’s true
It’s my joy to honor You

Amazing love, how can it be
That You, my King, should die for me?
Amazing love, I know it’s true
It’s my joy to honor You
In all I do, to honor You

In all I do, to honor You,
In all I do, Let me honor You."

Oh, but God STILL WASN'T DONE! THEN, they had a children's choir come up and sing a song that talked about if you do it to the least of these, then you've done it for me. AND then, now that we were BIG SOPPY MESSES, they brought up a family that had been the first in the church to adopt from Foster Care. This family was adopting another little one from foster care and a 3rd one coming in a few months. They spoke about how God knit this family together and had the congregation pray over them.

So, not only did God reassure us over and over that He would be our healer, our rebuilder & restorer but that He had it all, that there's power in His name and that the lowly are lifted up, that He knit our family together w/Jasmine and that if we do it to her, it's as if we're doing it to Jesus Himself. Is there ANY doubt that we are doing what we're meant to do?! You tell me, just awesome worship or total encouragement assault?!

My head is spinning!

2009-12-11T17:36:00.000-07:00

Ok - I'm totally cracking up right now, 'cause that God is such a kidder! :-) So, we actually got a .pdf of our revised I171-h emailed to us...already! We're assuming that they'll be sending us a hard copy that we'll need but we also assume that this means everything's moving forward. Yea and yikes at the same time! :-) Yea, 'cause of course, we can't wait to get our arms around Jasmine and tell her how much we love her! Yikes, only 'cause we're still a ways away from having the rest of the adoption funds needed. But again, God KNOWS! My mom and I were talking today about the "ride" that we're on and I commented that I just hope I don't throw up. Tee-hee!

At any rate, Praise God for HIS PERFECT TIMING!!! One way or another, He WILL come through for us and one way or another, on the other end of this, we'll be holding our precious girl in our arms! Praise God!

So, as our whirlwind begins, I'll leave you with the words to the song below by Third Day. It was sent to me by a very precious friend and I thought the words totally reflect our hearts going into this Christmas Season.

"There’s a little girl trembling on a cold December morn
Crying for momma’s arms
At an orphanage just outside a little China town
There the forgotten are

But half a world away I hang the stockings by the fire
And dream about the day when I can finally call you mine

It’s Christmas time again but you’re not home
Your family is here and yet you’re somewhere else alone
And so tonight I pray that God will come and hold you in his arms
And tell you from my heart I wish you Merry Christmas

As I hang the tinsel on the tree and watch the twinkling lights
I’m warmed by the fire’s glow
Outside the children tumble in a wonderland of white,
Make angels in the snow

But half a world away you try your best to fight the tears
And hope that heaven’s angels come to carry you here

It’s Christmas time again but you’re not home
Your family is here and yet you’re somewhere else alone
And so tonight I pray that God will come and hold you in his arms
And tell you from my heart I wish you Merry Christmas

Christmas is a time to celebrate the holy child
and we celebrate his perfect gift of love
He came to earth to give his life
and prepare a place for us
so we could have a home with him above

It’s Christmas time again and now you’re home
Your family is here so you will never be alone
So tonight before you go to sleep, I’ll hold you in my arms
And I’ll tell you from my heart, and I’ll you from my heart
I wish you Merry Christmas"

I171-h update

2009-12-11T13:38:00.000-07:00

Hi all! So we got confirmation from our agency today that US immigration (USCIS) will have to revise the form we just received to include our new address...again. The good news is that we should have it within the week!

Thanks so much for your continued prayers and support!

We got it... I think?

2009-12-10T16:03:00.000-07:00

We got our revised I171-h in the mail today however our new address wasn't corrected. I don't know if this is a problem or not so I've got a call into our adoption agency to find out if they think this matters or not. I originally understood that the reasons we needed to revise our 171-h were primarily due to adopting special needs but also due to our move, it would need to be revised. That could have just been the home study but I'll wait to find out before I jump up and down. :-)

Stay tuned. I'll keep you all posted and thanks for the continued prayers!

Against All Odds

2009-12-09T21:32:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been in a situation where you believed God was in your circumstances, yet it seemed like barriers kept rising in your path? When I've gone through those times, it feels like God is forcing me to trust Him by putting me in a situation where I have no choice but to depend on Him.

Tonight, I (Jim) was reading a bible story to Lily before she went to bed. We read about Gideon, who had a remarkable encounter with God. Gideon was asked to lead the Israelites in defeating a superior army. Gideon wasn't a war hero and, in his own strength, was ill equipped for the task. But God's call was clear. After putting God to the test (twice), Gideon was ready to obey. Even though the odds were against him, he believed that God would allow the Israelites to prevail.

God wanted to teach Gideon and the Israelites a lesson they would never forget. He reduced the size of Gideon's army to 300 men, asking them to fight and defeat an enemy probably numbering in the tens of thousands, or more. You've got to appreciate God's sense of humor. However, He was very clear about His reason for asking Gideon to lead the Israelites in a battle where victory could only be achieved against all odds. God wanted to make it clear that victory was in His hands, and not dependent on human efforts.

That was quite a blessing for me. If you've been following our blog, you know that we've been a bit worried about how we were going to raise the money needed to complete our adoption. We were very discouraged to learn that, of the 3 grants we had recently applied for, the one we felt was most likely to help us ended up turning us down. I felt just like Gideon must have felt when he was asked to do a seemingly impossible task, and then God took away some of the human resources Gideon assumed he would need. The truth is, God doesn't need our efforts. He owns the cattle on a thousand hills, and can provide for our needs in any way He chooses. By applying for grants, we are not assuming that is the only way God can provide, but we are engaging in our own circumstance and choosing to participate in the process. Whether God chooses to provide through that channel is up to Him and remains to be seen. Our job is to stay the course, trusting in Him, and not our efforts, to bear fruit.

With each day that passes, I am growing even more excited, and nervous. Excited because I know God is in this and confident that He will come through; yet, nervous because of my human limitations that can't yet see God's hand, or the method and timing of His provision. I can't wait to join Gideon on the other side of this situation. I long to spend the same amount of time praising God as I have praying for His provision. I can't wait to be able to share my Gideon story about how God came through and met our need against all odds. After all, nothing is impossible for God. The limiting factor is our faith, not God's ability. Please join us in continued prayer for provision to complete this journey. We look forward to celebrating with you when we're on the other side. Thanks for listening, and for your prayers.

Shaking it off

2009-12-09T08:32:00.001-07:00

So, now that the initial shock and disappointment has worn off from getting turned down by the one agency we thought would help, we're trying to shake that off and remind ourselves of all God's been showing us these past several weeks. The bottom line is that providing the rest of the monies needed for our adoption is God's job, not ours. We've been faithful to do everything we can on our end but providing is His job and He's NEVER failed to do His job.

One thing I've noticed that God does in my life when He's about to lead me through a BIG trial is, He spends a TON of time reassuring me right and left right before. I've been noticing that pattern with this situation but really hoping that this would not be one of those trials. :-) I have to say that due to all of the stress over the last year or so, my body doesn't handle stress well. I exercise regularly to help manage that but whenever my stress level goes up, my blood pressure will either shoot up or down, depending, and I'll end up w/dizzy spells and/or a bloody nose. Go figure! But God knows what I can handle and what I can't and this is in His hands. At any rate, I've been concerned about going through a big trial like this 'cause this one potentially costs something. The fear of not being able to bring home Jasmine brings me to my knees and yet this too, is something that needs to be given over.

I can't tell you how badly I want to be able to go through this whole thing completely trusting and yes, even celebrating like everything's paid for and it's done! I HATE that I struggle off and on w/doubts and yet I suppose that's human, otherwise, why would we need God?

I HAVE to remember that God is fully present in this adoption and this adoption is fully present in God. That means that as far as God is concerned, this adoption is done and paid for. I only have to worry about my part and trust God to do His. It's easier said than done when there's a time limit on things but how like God to reassure us over and over, knowing we'd have doubts! And He's done that. Every week, sometimes multiple times a week, He's reassured us through a prayer at church, a worship song, an excerpt from a book, an "a-ha" moment, a verse. Praise God that He provides for our needs even before we realize we have them!

We still haven't received our revised I171-h back yet so we'll keep you posted on that. We're still anticipating to get that back any day. We also still have 2 more grant agencies that are considering us so please pray for that!

Other than that, we're all doing fairly well. We've had unusually cold weather here. We woke up to -35 with windchill this morning! Yea baby! Lily had a slight bout w/the flu last week and a little cold this week but is doing amazingly well. We've been all taking a ton of vitamin C, D & probiotics and I think it's helped us all to stay pretty healthy so far. We are very thankful!

Speaking of Lily, she's still doing really well at school. She loves her teachers and her classmates. She's learned to write her name and has been really getting more into drawing and painting. We've reorganized her playroom so we have an easier time playing together...things are more accessible and the space is a little more roomy w/out our old hutch being in there. We've also pulled out all of the old baby toys and clothes and organized and cleaned everything.

Back to the subject of China. So, I'll put some faith into action and say that when we go to China, we'll be in 3 major cities while we're there. We'll most likely fly into Hong Kong and stay there for 2-3 days and then fly to Cheng Du in the Sichuan Province. They'll bring Jasmine to us w/in 1 day of us arriving there and we'll stay in that province for a total of 6-7 days before flying on to Guangzhou. That's where the US Embassy is located and that's where we'll likely be having numerous visits to the embassy to get Jasmine's visa and immigration docs in order. We'll probably be there for another 4-5 days-ish and then either fly home from there or fly to Hong Kong and fly home from there. We're only now slowly checking out information about those cities so that we can try and plan a couple of "fun" excursions while we're in China. For the most part, we'll keep things really low key but we thought it would be fun to try and see a tiny bit of the huge country that our daughter was born into and get some pictures, mini movies & souvenirs to show her when she's older. It really is one-in-a-life-time kind of trip.

Well, that's about it on the Young front. Thanks so much for all of your prayers and encouragement. We really cherish them both, especially right now! We'll continue to keep you posted and hope that you're all doing well!

grant update

2009-12-08T15:45:00.002-07:00

Well, I just heard from one of the grant agencies that has kept us in the loop for the last year and they have turned us down. We're devastated but clinging to God to help us. Please pray for us and for provision for our adoption.

Jesus and Skype

2009-12-06T14:25:00.001-07:00

Hi everyone! So we've spent this past week getting together references and filling out paperwork for a third grant agency that we've found. As I was reading through the other grant applications that we've filled out (why do things twice and re-invent the wheel?), I realized that I missed something God did in the midst of our match day that I'd like to share with you. I was re-reading one of the testimonies that I had written for one of the grant agencies and in that I shared with them, not only my testimony but my dream for my children. I shared with them how, besides hearing "Well done, my good and faithful servant" from Jesus, to have my children love and serve Him would be the other thing that I would most like to accomplish as a mom. Well, that God in His attention to the tiniest of details! What floored me as I wrote that was the fact that, later on our match day with Jasmine, Lily accepted Jesus into her heart. I thought to myself and was so touched to realize that not only did God match us with Jasmine on October 21 but He matched Lily with Jesus, forever! She has a long ways towards loving and serving Him but she's on her way and she's in God's forever family! It's so like God to give us 2 matches in 1 day and answer some of the deepest desires of our hearts, isn't it?! I just had to share that with you as I was struck again this morning in worship by those amazing events happening on the same day. We are counting on God in so many ways and He is so faithful to answer our prayers. :-)

So, Jesus and skype are not related whatsoever but I wanted to share about skype with you as well. It's a free way for us to communicate w/family and friends while we are in China. You can get more info. on their website but I wanted to encourage all of our family and friends who want to talk w/us while we're in China to check into it. You'll be able to physically see us and vice versa via the computer for free! If you do get it, please let us know and we'll add you into our contacts and make sure that we get in touch with you while we're in China (and after!).

We'll also be updating this blog every day or close to it while we're in China so please stay tuned as we'll let you know when we're going and all of the details while we're there.

Well, I hope this finds you all well and hope that you have a wonderful week! We should be getting our revised I171-h back this week so I'm sure it will be an exciting week for us. We'll be sure to keep you posted! Please continue to pray for these 3 grant agencies that they'll choose us and for God's total provision for our adoption. We love you all and we'll talk to you soon!

Thanksgiving and new pics

2009-12-01T21:07:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! I've posted 2 new pics of Jasmine from 11/20. We were so surprised to get any new pictures so this is such a treat for us. She's standing and sitting up all by herself! Yea God! We can't wait until we get to meet our precious girl and put a smile on her precious face. We still don't know the extent of her needs and are also eager to get her home so that we can have her thoroughly checked out by our pediatrician and therapists and get her whatever help she needs to get caught up.

In the meantime, we're continuing to do our part in bringing her home. We've been working hard on continuing to get organized and baby-proofed at home. We've been unpacking and continuing to try and sell items that aren't needed so as to help w/our adoption expenses. We've identified a 3rd grant agency that will also be selecting families in the month of Dec. to give grants to. We're praying that somehow, some way, between the 3 agencies, we'll get the money that we need to complete our adoption. We're anticipating getting our I171-h back sometime in the next 1 1/2 weeks! We're continuing to try and promote our coffee fundraiser to family and friends. As to the rest, we are continuing to trust God to do His part and raise the money to bring Jasmine home.

It's funny how God, when He's teaching us something, will continually put that lesson in front of our faces. This past Sunday, the message at church had to do with not missing Jesus in the season. But instead of talking about how busy-ness robs us of Him, they talked about how the need to be on the throne and in control robs us of Him. They spoke about Herod the great and how he missed Jesus because He didn't want to lose his throne and was so busy trying to control everything in his life to keep that throne. As he was speaking, it occurred to me that the things I've been trying to control are the adoption expenses and parenting Lily. I've not even realized that I've been missing what God's been doing and the miracle of adoption and being a parent because I've been trying to control and be on the throne of those areas. I don't want to miss these miracles because I'm worrying. I want to be in a place of fully celebrating this adoption because, in God's presence, it's done and paid for. I want to fully celebrate Lily and do my part to parent but trust God to guide her in her own spiritual journey with Him, instead of worrying about the little things. And in both of these areas, I want to fully celebrate this Holiday season in these amazing blessings that He's given us and trust God to work out all of the details. I want my faith to be something that I live and go deep in and not just give lip service to.

Well, I hope you all enjoyed your Thanksgiving! We've so appreciated all of the prayers and encouragement and support. Despite all of the tough things we've gone through this year, it's actually been one of the best for us because of all of the blessings and things that we've learned. The things that were taken away were returned back ten-fold. We have a community that we love w/wonderful friends & family. We have a new church that challenges us and supports us and encourages us to go deeper. And we're about to have a new precious baby. God is so good! Thanks for your continued prayers over our adoption and we'll definitely keep you all posted!

Grief

2009-11-20T11:41:00.000-07:00

It's funny how, in the midst of celebrating so much healing and blessings, grief can still hit you. I was driving home from the bank and a wave of grief hit me over our old church situation. I felt so saddened that people I had really respected and looked up to were no longer in my life. I felt saddened for the choices that were made and how all of our worlds were totally changed because of this. I felt grief over how that sin had affected so many and separated so many relationships because of the awful way it was handled. I guess I got a teeny, tiny picture of how my sins separated me from a God who loves me and wants to have a relationship w/me. How grief-stricken God must have been! The difference is, I'd never give my child for someone else's sin and I'm certainly not God. :-)

At any rate, despite that wave of grief, I feel so incredibly thankful for all of the blessings God has given us. I'm thankful for our new community and the friendships that we've made. I'm thankful for a house to live in that doesn't leak and require tens of thousands of dollars worth of repairs. I'm thankful for my precious little girl, Lily, and for the incredible blessing of a new baby, Jasmine. I'm thankful for my husband and for the job that God gave Him. I'm thankful for our new church and the fact that every time we go, God heals a little bit of our heart.

No new updates to report as of yet. We're still praying for the grant agencies to come through with some much needed assistance for our adoption. We're still waiting on our revised I-171h to come back from US immigration and we're finishing our baby proofing and unpacking. We've bought most of the items we'll need for our trip. And we're getting ready to celebrate one of the best holidays yet, w/my (Donna) family and feeling so incredibly blessed and humbled by all that God has done for us. Thank you all for standing with us and praying for us and encouraging us! We can't wait until we can share how God provides for our adoption and we can't wait to meet and share our new precious girl with you all!

God is in the present

2009-11-17T08:59:00.001-07:00

It's funny how we can go from, on one day, completely trusting God and then the very next day, having struggles with that trust. I am absolutely amazed that, no matter how many times God comes through for us, I still have those moments of wondering if this will be the time that He doesn't. Crazy, isn't it?!

At any rate, I had one of those moments yesterday. In the midst of that struggle and choosing to trust God despite "how I feel" or "how impossible things look", I was reading "Gone in a Heartbeat" by David & Marie Works. Some of you may have heard about the shootings that occurred at New Life Church almost 2 years ago. A guy named Matthew Murray had gone on a shooting spree at a YWAM location up in Denver and then drove down to Colorado Springs and started shooting at New Life Church. He was eventually shot and killed by one of the security guards at the church but not before he killed 2 girls - both from the same family. The book is written by their parents and their experience and then journey to healing. It's an incredible book and I highly recommend it, if you haven't read it.

At any rate, I wanted to share some of what I read as it was extremely impactful and eye opening for me. This is pages 151-152 and David (the father) is speaking to a group of people and sharing about something He's learning. He starts to talk about how, to Catholics, God is fully present in the eucharistic elements and that they look at communion as more literal.

He continues, "Now as protestants, we may not take it that far. However, Jesus is at least spiritually present in the Eucharist, or Communion, or whatever your tradition calls it. If you take that idea of God being present at the Lord's table and extend it to the rest of our living, then you can appreciate God being fully present in this present moment."

"This is an important idea, for after all, he is the 'I AM.' With God there really is no past or future, because He lives in eternity and has no beginning or ending. He always was, and always will be. Therefore, to him, there is only 'now.' And if we see Him now, in this present moment, then we can enter into an incredible place of peace and rest. We will realize His coming among us. John 1:14 tells how 'The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us.' He intends to dwell among us today, too. He is here in the very minutes and seconds of our lives."

"This concept had been growing in my mind ever since the Sunday-night-Monday-morning turnaround in the Hospital. I was coming to realize that I didn't need to organize everything all the time. I didn't need to try to run every show. God could well take care of that Himself, since He was right here, right now, right in each circumstance. Instead of trying to play God, I could just relax and play David. I was finding this to be wonderfully conducive to rest and peace. My anxiety levels were definitely lower. God was as present in my daily existance as He was in the midst of the most marvelous church service or personal prayer retreat in the mountains. His presence made each and every moment sacred-which, after all, is the root of the word sacrament."

"The words of Jesus in Matt. 11:28-30 mesmerized me, especially as rendered in "The Message paraphrase: "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me-watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything havy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly. How much better this was than to grind away in human exertion and self-doubt. To yield to God in the present moment was the key to relief and joy. I was fascinated with the word picture "the unforced rhythms of grace." God's grace did not need to be jammed into any preset mold. It would simply roll out in its own rhythm, a thing of beauty and joy."

He finishes with, "To believe that God is here in the present moment does not mean that we "feel" or sense Him all the time. Sometimes our antennae have no awareness that He is nearby. We have to go on faith alone. Regardless of our emotional state, the fact remains that God will lead us on whatever path is ours to travel. He is our Guide and Shepherd. We are safer in His care than we would ever be on our own. We can therefore trust Him with the outcomes of our lives."

Long quote, I know, but sooooo powerful! So I began to process this in my mind and I realized that God is in the present in our adoption. Our adoption is not in the future, for God, it's now. The money we need to complete it, is now. I need to let God be God and only worry about being Donna. That means that I do my part and let God do His. His part is bringing Jasmine home and all that entails. My part is getting ready for her by completing the paperwork, packing, purchasing whatever necessities for our trip, etc. I need to do my part and trust that God will do His. I don't have to do God's job! Sounds so "duh!", I know but it's such a relief! I get into this mode, without even thinking about it, and the next thing I know, I'm trying to do God's job as well as mine. No wonder I feel overwhelmed and everything feels impossible! But, if I can remember that God is in the present, therefore our adoption and all that entails, is also in the present and in His presence, I can have peace. God will do His part. Period.

I really wanted to share that with all two of you (ha-ha) that read our blog because perhaps one of you are going through something similar. Perhaps your circumstances feel bigger than you are able to handle and you feel overwhelmed. The good news is that regardless of your timing, it is in the present because God is in the present. Realize that you don't have to control it all. God will do his part, just focus on yours. Choose to believe that regardless of how you feel and trust God with the outcome.

Waiting

2009-11-12T11:54:00.001-07:00

Hi everyone! Just when I thought we were finally caught up on paperwork, I found a stack that needs to be filled out before we go to the US embassy so it looks like I have more work to do! Sigh. :-) But other than that, we are caught up on all of the major stuff and have sent everything off. Now we wait. While we're waiting, we continue to pray that this one grant agency will choose us. They'll be making their selections in the next few weeks so please say a pray for us as they can potentially help get us a large chunk of the $10k-$12k that we have left to raise. We've possibly found 1-2 other agencies that might be able to give some small grants so we'll see. Again, we remind ourselves that God is in control and He knows that we have little time left and how much we need. We are trusting Him to provide.

Also, while we wait, we've been getting things ready for our trip. Lily just had her 4 year exam yesterday and, Praise God, the Dr. signed off on her going on the trip. She's even giving us a prescription for some antibiotics to use, along w/her nebulizer, if Lily picks up any kind of respiratory stuff while we're there. Please pray with us that all of us will stay totally healthy while we're there.

We're also trying to figure out some foods that we can bring with us (that won't spoil) for Lily as her sensory issues have caused her to be very picky w/food. We've found some great solutions and feel like even little details like that...God is pulling them all together.

I have to say that it's still really mind boggling to, after waiting all this time, suddenly be in motion and even quickly in motion! It's very surreal, especially to get "the call" only 1 week after we were told it'd be a couple more months. I'm still trying to get my mind wrapped around the fact that this precious little girl is ours and that we'll be leaving to get her very soon! It's wild to think back about when we started to pray for her. Lily was about 2 1/2 years old and Jasmine must have been about 3 months in utero. God had us praying for her, even before she was born. He had us praying for her, probably right about the time her birth mommy found out she was pregnant. Wow! Which brings me right back to how amazing it is to think of how God is in the tiniest of details!

Well, once we get to the next step, we'll let you know. Thanks for all of your prayers and we'll talk to you soon!

I'm counting on God....

2009-11-08T21:32:00.001-07:00

God is so good! We have felt so humbled these past couple of days as, despite some fears of "will God provide?", we have had several people give us checks to help w/our adoption. None are big amounts and yet every amount counts and we are so humbled that anyone would give money to help us. Praise God for His perfect timing in knowing exactly when we need the encouragement. To top it off, every time we go to church, we feel God encouraging us in some way or healing our hearts in some way. Today, the very first song was "I'm counting on God" by Desperation Band. Once again, in multiple ways, God reminds us that He has this adoption taken care of down to the tiniest detail. Praise God for His provision. We don't know how He's going to come through, but He does! We are so incredibly thankful and blessed. Thank you all for your prayers and support! You are all making a difference in our lives and we are also thankful for you. :-)

We all had a great weekend together as a family. We're finishing up some horseback riding lessons and were able to go together yesterday. It was great, in the midst of all of the crazy paperwork, to have some fun together also. We're really trying to pace ourselves in all of this so that we don't burn out and get sick right before leaving for China. We were able to get this last round of paperwork off and our China visas applied for so we can relax until the next round comes through. :-)

Prayer-wise, please continue to pray for God's provision for the remainder of our adoption funds and for our good health to continue. I have felt God's hand on us and I KNOW that it is because of Him that we have stayed healthy and strong despite the stress and craziness. Most of all, pray that we will continue to depend on Him for every single step and that we will continue to count on Him for our every need.

Thanks to all of you who are participating in our coffee fundraiser! I think I told you but we have heard GREAT reports about the quality of the coffee and the promptness of delivery. Yea God! Please continue to pass along to all those coffee-loving-wanna-give-to-a-good-cause kind of folks.

Praise God for this season of blessing in our lives and praise God for all of you who have come alongside of us! Thank you all and as always, we'll continue to keep you posted! :-)

We received our LOA!!!

2009-11-06T23:13:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone! We want to thank you all for your support and prayers! It's funny because we've been waiting for 2+ years and now all of the sudden, we have our match and everything is moving like gangbusters! It's hard to keep up with everything. So the latest is that we were waiting to get back our Letter of Acceptance (LOA) back from the CCAA (Chinese gov.) which we were told would take about 1 month. 1 week later (which was 1 week ago), we received our LOA!

What happens now is a two-fold process. First, we have to sign this LOA and send it back to our agency who then forwards it to the CCAA. Second, before the LOA can be sent back to the CCAA, we have to get our revised immigration form from the United States immigration called the I171-h. This has to be revised because we moved and it has to be tailored to the exact child that we are adopting because she has special needs. (Confusing, I know.) So, our updated home study has been sent to US immigration to provide the info. they need to revise our I171-h. We are told this will take about 1 month. Once we get that revised I171-h form back, we'll be traveling in 5-8 weeks from then!

In the meantime, we have been filling out more paperwork, applying for visas, washing baby clothes, searching for grants, etc. Please continue to pray for us that we'll be able to raise enough money in time! Pray for us in December as there is 1 grant agency that is reviewing our application. Please pray for God's direction for them and His provision for us. At this point, we could be traveling anytime from December to January time frame! We are so excited to meet our little sweetie-pie and we thank God every night for finally bringing us our new little girl.

On a side note, we have settled on a final full name for our little girl. Her name is Jasmine Yi Jing Young. Yi (pronounced "eee") means art or skill and Jing (zhing) means still or quiet. We will definitely keep you all posted as we get closer and closer to traveling to China! Please stay posted on our blog as we will be trying to update every single day while we are in China, with pictures and stories of our trip. We want to try and share every detail with you all so that you can experience China with us.

We would like you to meet our new daughter!

2009-10-29T15:34:00.001-06:00

Praise Jesus! We've got our match and she is pickin' precious! Her Chinese name, which we're still trying to find out the meaning, is Liu Yi Jing and she's 9 months old! She was born on January 8, 2009 and has some developmental delays. We'll have to see what the extent is once we bring her back to the states but we feel confident that after helping Lily through her delays, we're perfectly suited for this precious baby! We have received the "pre-approval" from the CCAA so everything is official!!!!

We would like to ask for all of your prayers as we still have a total of $15-$17k to raise, almost $5k of that we have already. The thing is that we could be traveling as quickly as 5-8 weeks to go get her instead of the 3-5 months that we were originally told! If you or anyone you know drinks coffee, please consider buying a bag from our store. (See the earlier post for the link) We also have 1 grant agency that will be reviewing our file in December so please pray for that as they may be able to give us a grant to help w/the expenses.

The bottom line is that God knew way before the beginning of time, that He would ask us to be obedient to sell our house for much less and knew that the proceeds wouldn't be enough to cover our adoption. He knew that we would have to go through a horrific situation at our church and have to leave the support system we had for the whole 7 1/2 years we've been here. He's known all of this and He has a plan and we are trusting Him to provide. Praise God for His provision and more importantly, Praise God for our new precious daughter, Jasmine!!!!!!

We'll keep you all posted as we move forward as this will probably move very quickly. Yea God and thank you all for your prayers!

Calling all COFFEE LOVERS!

2009-10-26T10:50:00.000-06:00

Hi everyone! Just wanted to let you know that we are launching the coffee fundraiser to help bring home Jasmine. If you are a coffee lover or know of people who are, would you consider buying a bag or two from us? Every bag you buy sends us $5 towards our adoption costs (tshirts & accessories as well) and would help us out tremendously! Additionally, a portion of their proceeds also go to assist an orphanage in Ethiopia so you can buy coffee that supports 2 different causes! Please go to our store at http://www.justlovecoffee.com/TheYoungs for more details. All items are affordably priced and would be a great way you can help us bring Jasmine home. Thanks for your consideration and support!

Snow in September...

2009-10-12T20:38:00.000-06:00

Hi everyone! What a trip...snow in September & ice in October! Boy, it's been a while since we last blogged! We have had quite the crazy last 2 months or so. Lily started preschool the first week in August and that has continued to go well. She loves her teachers and seems to be thriving w/the students in her class. It's been nice for me as I've gotten a chance to know a few of the parents. There sure are some wonderful families in our neighborhood!

We've also recently left our church home of 7 1/2 years. A serious situation came to the Elders' attention back in the beginning of August that had us on our knees. After a TON of prayer, wise counsel and scouring the scriptures, we came to a definite belief on how things needed to be handled. Once it was determined that things would not be handled in a way that honored God, we felt it imperative to leave. While we continue to pray for our old church body and for God's will there, we are also trying to move forward and heal. We've tried 2 churches so far and hope to try 1 more before we make any final decisions.

We FINALLY have some resolution on our new house! We are due to close on October 21st and are very excited to be able to finally call this house our home. Thank you, God, for your PERFECT timing and your provision. This home and this neighborhood have been such a HUGE source of blessing and healing to us. We are truly thankful!

We continue to wait on our China adoption but know that God is in the tiniest of details in this as well. He has perfect timing for our precious Jasmine to come home and we are trusting Him for that.

I will update again very soon but wanted to share a passage that really hit home tonight. Psalm 91 has been something we have lived through w/this trial w/our church and God has been so incredibly faithful. We hope it encourages you in whatever you may be dealing with. We love you all!

Psalm 91
1 Those who live in the shelter of the Most High
will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 This I declare about the Lord:
He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;
he is my God, and I trust him.
3 For he will rescue you from every trap
and protect you from deadly disease.
4 He will cover you with his feathers.
He will shelter you with his wings.
His faithful promises are your armor and protection.
5 Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night,
nor the arrow that flies in the day.
6 Do not dread the disease that stalks in darkness,
nor the disaster that strikes at midday.
7 Though a thousand fall at your side,
though ten thousand are dying around you,
these evils will not touch you.
8 Just open your eyes,
and see how the wicked are punished.

9 If you make the Lord your refuge,
if you make the Most High your shelter,
10 no evil will conquer you;
no plague will come near your home.
11 For he will order his angels
to protect you wherever you go.
12 They will hold you up with their hands
so you won’t even hurt your foot on a stone.
13 You will trample upon lions and cobras;
you will crush fierce lions and serpents under your feet!

14 The Lord says, “I will rescue those who love me.
I will protect those who trust in my name.
15 When they call on me, I will answer;
I will be with them in trouble.
I will rescue and honor them.
16 I will reward them with a long life
and give them my salvation.”

God IS in the details

2009-08-05T17:03:00.009-06:00

Hi everyone! It's hard to believe a few weeks have gone by since my last post. We are all doing well and still waiting to hear on our house. The bank had made a mistake w/the owners and forgot to take their 2nd mortgage into account so they initially turned down the short sale. Now that they have all of the correct information, we're hoping to hear something this week.

In the meantime, we've continued to try and get unpacked and recover from the move. I love how God is in the tiniest of details. I really believe that He's put us into this neighborhood for a reason, one of which has been the community aspects. We've both seen ourselves slowly recover just by going to our community pool, taking walks, making new friends, etc. that we've not been able to really do since we moved to Colorado. I believe God called us to this community to heal that which was broken and damaged.

Secondly, we've been praying that God would open the doors for Lily to go to preschool despite having missed the "lottery" drawing for preschool spots. We found out just a couple of weeks ago, that Lily got one of the spots at Meridian Ranch Elementary in the afternoon class. And, because of her background, she qualified for one of the tuition-free, 4 days/week slots versus the paid tuition, 2 days/week slots that the other kids have. Praise God for that! Part of our prayer was for Lily to get put into the perfect environment for her. Once again...God is in the tiniest of details! I met a family over the weekend who has 2 children who are special needs - 1 w/Ausbergers (sp?) and the younger, who is Lily's age, w/sensory disorders and speech delays. This family absolutely raved about the quality of the teachers at Meridian Ranch and how this school is one of the best in the area for children w/special needs. Their youngest will be in Lily's class and apparently has seen remarkable improvement under the teachers' expertise. Lily's delays are caught up but it's wonderful to know that if anything does come up from her background, we're at a school who can handle most of these situations. Praise God!

We continue to wait on our China adoption. This past weekend, as I was weeding in the front yard, Lily came up to me and said, "Mommy, I can't wait until we can go to China and pick up Jasmine." I told her I couldn't wait either. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with longing to hold that precious girl in my arms and tell her that she's safe now. I long to know how she's doing. Is there someone bonding with her? Does she hear God's voice telling her she's loved and that her forever family can't wait to meet her and love her? I can't wait for that day that we get "THE call!" I believe with my whole heart that God is in the tiniest of details and even that detail of WHEN we get the call has a purpose in His plan.

Here's one last detail that happened today. Today was Lily's first day at preschool and everything went extremely well. After dropping her off, I noticed a mom w/a precious little girl who looked like she was from China. I had seen this family before and had noticed that both of their girls looked Chinese and wondered if they had adopted. I introduced myself to her and asked if I could ask her a question. "She doesn't look like me, does she?" Carolyn replied. I said that we were in the process of adopting from China and I was curious if they had. They did and we excitedly exchanged our stories. She informed me that there were several families in Meridian Ranch who had adopted from China and asked me to keep her posted on our upcoming adoption. Once again, I felt God affirming that we are in the right place and that He cares about the tiniest of details..even those of a precious baby who hasn't been adopted yet! I left feeling so incredibly blessed that, who am I, that God would care about the details of my life?!

The new "normal"

2009-07-23T08:06:00.006-06:00

Hi everyone! I wanted to write about this for quite a while and I hope I'll be able to articulate it appropriately (and - no criticisms please). I do want to preface this by saying that adoption has been the BIGGEST blessing in our lives! Not only have we been privileged to adopt our precious little girl, Lily, and hopefully soon, Jasmine, as well, but we've also gotten to experience the extra layers of adoption like getting a better picture of being adopted into God's family. Having experienced the blessings and richness of adoption, I would NEVER change a thing, if given the chance. Not even the loss that we experienced to get to this place.

Loss. If I'm going to real, I need to say that PART of adoption is loss. That's something that a lot of people don't really think of when they think of adoption. Many of us gloss over the loss but it's very real. The baby or child's loss of their birth parents, birth family and/or caregivers. The birth parents, birth family and/or caregivers' loss. And many times, the adoptive families' loss...of a dream, of a child through death or miscarriage, loss of their adoptive child's losses. Loss. Loss of "normal." It seems like often in life, things need to be lost before new things can be found. Even God, gave up His precious son, Jesus, so that we could be adopted into His forever family. God experienced loss willingly so that we could have a new "normal" free from sin and death.

One of the things that has been hardest for Jim & I, in our family, has been finding a new "normal." For most of us adoptive families, it's something manifests itself everyday when we try to parent. We have to filter our child's behavior and figure out what's normal for them. For some, it comes up at medical appointments when they're trying to fill out medical history that they don't have. For others, it's birthdays and gotcha days. For others, it's helping their child do their "family tree" project for school. Loss is a part of our new normal and we have to figure out how to help our children grieve their losses as well. It's a tough balance to grieve the loss yet embrace the blessings. I have some days where I crave having a "normal" situation where my daughter hadn't been taken on the run and abandoned and therefore she's not afraid of being left again, she's just being 3. But, having grieved my losses, my cravings don't linger there. I've accepted that our family will always have a new "normal" and therefore I just need to focus on how to best come alongside of my daughter and love her in a way that God uses for healing.

The new "normal" in adoption is one of the toughest things that I've had to deal with but I have to say again, that I wouldn't change a thing! I like tough. My daughter was saved literally from death in a couple of miraculous ways. It was a really tough road to adopt her but to experience the victory on the other side of knowing that she's safe and loved has been amazing. And to see God's hand in all of the details, in a way I wouldn't have seen with just "normal".....priceless!

Horseback riding & expanding our horizons

2009-07-20T08:15:00.004-06:00

So over the weekend, my husband had a wonderful idea. We've been wanting, for quite a while, to find activities that we can do together as a family. The problem is, we like very different things. Jim's been interested in golf, tennis and bowling. I'm interested in rollerblading, racewalking and volleyball. We hadn't yet found an activity in common that we were BOTH really interested in trying...until Saturday! Jim suggested horseback riding, which has been an interest of mine since I was a little girl. Lily is such an animal-lover that we knew that would be a no-brainer for her. So, after scouring the phone book, off we went, to try and find a farm that would give all 3 of us lessons. Lo and behold, we found one and had our first lesson on Sunday after church!

We met a number of Mischa's (our teacher) horses, including 2 orphaned filly's, 2 different litters of kittens and several dogs. We had a blast! She taught us how to approach the horse, basic safety, how to groom the horse, how to put on a harness and how to lead. Lily even got a few moments to ride bareback. Next lesson, we'll all get to ride which we all can't wait for! It was pure heaven to have Dixie (our mare teacher for the day) nuzzle my hair and watching Lily who looked like a natural - it felt like a fit for all of us. I have always wanted to be a family that had a "thing" that we all like to do together. It felt like God put this piece of the puzzle together for us and I'm really looking forward to seeing how it unfolds.

No other news on the adoption or our house. While waiting, I've been trying to do some research to track down some good children's books on China and Chinese culture so I can help prepare Lily for the trip, when that comes. Additionally, I've been trying to think through and research what types of toys to bring to help keep her occupied on the long flight, how to help her sleep on a plane, how to ease her through the transitions, etc. If anyone has any ideas that worked for them, please pass them on!

That's it for now - enjoy the pics and thanks again for all of the prayers!

Leak update

2009-07-17T17:19:00.004-06:00

Hi everyone! It has been a gorgeous week, here in Colorado! We've still had some storms but these past few days have been almost perfect summer weather so we're extremely grateful.

Well, so far so good on our leak situation. The warranty company is no longer covering John Laing homes due to their bankruptcy so the owners hired a contractor to fix the area that was leaking. He's fairly certain that he found what was causing the issue and so the only things that remain are handling the carpet that had gotten some slight damage and another small fix which should keep this same issue from happening again. We still haven't had any news on the short sale approval but we're trusting God to work out the details in His perfect timing. The good news is that it's looking less and less like we'll need to move again (pending short sale approval, of course) so that is a huge relief! Now we just need to get the basement put back together so we can finish unpacking!

Thanks to anyone who responded to the Orphans Deserve Better petition! Fox news online actually had a story on this today! It was exciting to hear about all of the Adoption and foster care groups that joined together to bring our concerns to Warner Brothers. It's amazing to read all of those adoption stories on www.orphansdeservebetter.org So many of our lives have been forever changed due to the gift that Adoption brings. The losses that many of us suffered - God had a better plan for us. I am so thankful that He does not waste one single tear!

That's the end of the mini update for us. We hope you all have a terrific weekend and we'll talk again soon! Thanks so much for your prayers on our behalf.

Leaks and swim lessons

2009-07-07T17:11:00.005-06:00

Hi everyone! Hope all of your summer's are going well. We're still slowly recovering but, as is always the case with us, never without some adventure of some kind. Our Saturn is in the shop and let's just say we're almost rebuilding the engine so...ouch! Thank God that this is happening when we don't have rent or mortgage payments but so much for catching up!

Our next adventure has involved our soon-to-be house. Once again, thank God for allowing this to happen before we've closed! We've had a TON of rain out here this summer which is awesome after many years of drought. We noticed Friday that an area underneath the stairs in the basement was wet and have since determined that we're getting water in from the rains. In fact, we had a pretty hysterical 4th of July w/my family here and us all hunkered down at the rec center while we had monsoon-like rains. Crazy! Leak-wise it's not good considering this house is only 3 years old! At any rate, the owners and their realtor are scrambling to try and have the house fixed under warranty. We could sure use your prayers as, if the water issue isn't addressed and fixed thoroughly, we could be looking for a new house. Please pray for wisdom and discernment in this process. We LOVE the house and the area and don't want to move but we're wanting to be wise. Our prayer is that if this house IS where God wants us, then either the owners or the warranty co. will fix the issue and then we can go to closing. Never a dull moment around here!

On the adoption end of things, we took our last training class almost 2 weeks ago! This one was optional but the quality of classes at CCAI has been through the roof so we wanted to take anything that was relevant. This class was on multi-child parenting and has really helped us make some decisions concerning taking Lily to China. I have to say that I was expecting this class to be more about how to parent several children AFTER we get back however it was about how to handle introducing your existing children to your new child and how to involve them in the adoption process. Excellent class! At any rate, we did discuss whether or not to bring Lily with us to China and the decision is.....we're bringing her! We've both wrestled and prayed about this for months but after discussions w/my dad and then this teacher, we felt God led us to this decision and we both feel extremely peaceful about it. This aspect (to bring or not to bring) really is a personal decision and each family really needs to base their decisions on their family situations. In our case, because Lily was adopted and had been abandoned in the beginning of her life, it's really important to make sure that she doesn't feel abandoned again.

So, while we wait, we continue to pray for Jasmine and look forward to the day that we get "the call." I guess the good news is that we have more time to prepare ourselves and now Lily for that long trip to China and all that we will encounter.

The same weekend as our training, our friend, Sabrina, came and stayed with us for the weekend and we had a blast! It was so great to re-connect with her and we're looking forward to having more weekends like that one! Please continue to pray for her safety in her family situation and that God would use us to plant some major spiritual seeds in her life.

On the fun side, we have really enjoyed taking advantage of the amenities at Meridian Ranch (our neighborhood). The pool/rec. center is really beautiful so we've tried to go swimming as often as the "monsoons" have allowed us, go for walks, play at the park, etc. That has been really wonderful. Today, Lily had her very first swimming lesson! It was quite exhilarating for me to watch her, with her float belt on, for the first time start swimming on her own! I got myself ready to jump in after her (despite the fact that the lifeguard was 2 feet away) but lo and behold, she stayed above water! That little turkey gave me quite the scare but it sure was fun to watch her! I'll take some pics. at tomorrow's lesson and post them soon.

Please continue to pray for us in our house (& car) situations! Additionally, Jim's employer is having to do some budget cuts so please be praying for us and the other employees during this time. They'll probably be making those decisions in the next couple of weeks so we appreciate your prayers in all of these things! Like I said, "never a dull moment around here!" I was reminded recently that for those of us who trust in the Lord, He promises to keep us in the palm of His hand for the rest of our days (wish I could remember the reference!). Thank God! We experienced that during our move and we are trusting Him for that in these current "adventures." Thanks for all of your support...we love you all!

Orphans Deserve Better....

2009-06-27T08:09:00.002-06:00

Hi everyone! It's been a little while since I've updated. We're still trying to get settled, heal, etc. but we're slowly getting there. Praise God that He is a God of restoration and healing amongst many other things.

We are continuing to wait for Jasmine and do have a slight update for you. We did ask CCAI about our timeline as we're now 12 months into the Waiting child program. According to them, they think our wait will be longer than 12 months because apparently there are a lot of people who are interested in children w/similar conditions that we are interested in. What that actually means in terms of time, remains to be seen. We still believe that it will be this year, at this point, but it's starting to look like late summer/fall time frame now. We will keep you posted, of course. We soooooo can't wait until we get that call and believe me, you will all be the first to hear about it! :-)

In the midst of unpacking, we were given an opportunity to take Lily to the Barnum & Bailey circus when it was in town. Thanks to Bethany Christian Services for the free tickets because we all had a BLAST as a family! I'm going to upload some photos for you to enjoy. We had such a great time and it brought some much needed relief and fun into our lives after all of the stress. Thank you Bethany!

Also, thank you all for your continued prayers for our former foster daughter. While DHS has chosen to do nothing, she is currently safe and we are staying in regular contact with her. Praise God that her family has even allowed her to come stay with us this weekend! We are trying to rebuild that friendship with her and as long as she allows us to stay in her life, we're praying that God will use us to touch her heart and give her the love and support that she needs. Please pray for us this weekend that we'll be able to re-connect with her in meaningful ways and pray that her heart will open to God.

I'm a member of Christian Alliance for Orphans and received an email from them this morning that I wanted to share. Apparently, Warner Brothers is coming out with a horrer/thriller film called "Orphans." I watched the trailer and I'm absolutely HORRIFIED with the messages that this film is sending about orphans and adoption! The story is about a family who adopts an older child named Esther who proceeds to terrorize the family. In one of the trailers it says that "there's something wrong with Esther." In another, Esther says "It must be hard to love an adopted child as much as your own." What a HORRIBLE message to send to both adopted children and orphans in general. They are in their situations due to NO FAULT of their own and they are not damaged goods. I'm sharing this because Christian Alliance for Orphans is asking people to sign a petition asking Warner Brothers to donate some proceeds to orphans and consider adding a message portraying the truth and beauty of adoption. Additionally, they are asking those of us who have an adoption story to share so that the truth could be heard. If you interested in either signing the petition or sharing your story, please go to www.orphansdeservebetter.org

New friend or Divine appointment?

2009-06-11T08:42:00.006-06:00

So on Tuesday, Lily and I decided to walk to the park around the corner and play while we actually had some decent weather. It's been pretty rainy/stormy here in the last several weeks so playing outside has been a little sporadic for us. Anyway, we had such a great time swinging and playing! There were quite a few kids w/families there so we slowly made the rounds (Lily is completely fearless when it comes to meeting new people. I, on the other hand, am a complete chicken!) As I was watching her play, I noticed this precious little girl kind of playing by herself and I noticed she was watching the other kids play. I could tell that she was longing to join in and so I started to hope that Lily would run over and play with her. I also started looking around because I was extremely curious to see if I could find her parents. Being an adoptive mom, I have to say I'm always excited to meet other adoptive families. There's something so incredibly special about the journey to adoption, the victories and battles, the amazing stories of God's protection and provision, the moment we fell in love w/our child, the spiritual aspects of adoption, etc. Not to sound like I'm profiling but this precious girl was Asian and I was curious to see if her parents were Asian or if perhaps, like we will soon, she was adopted from China.

Soon, Lily found this precious little girl and the 2 of them began to run around chasing each other, laughing and having a blast together (don't you wish you could make friends like children can?) I was so caught up in watching the 2 of them have a blast together - it was truly precious. Soon, a lovely lady walked up and asked me if I was the mother of "that gorgeous little girl?" Which, of course, I am! :-) At any rate, we began chatting and come to find out that she is a Christian and they adopted their precious Naomi from China through CCAI (also our agency), she's just a few months older than Lily and her official adoption day was the day before Lily's! She even had the same caseworker that we currently have! We exchanged our stories and hopefully Cindy felt as blessed as I did. It truly felt like a divine appointment for me. God NEVER ceases to amaze me with His continual twists and turns and surprises that He seems to have at every turn. I LOVE how He is in the tiniest of details! We did exchange information and hopefully we'll be able to do a play date sometime soon. For me, what was exciting aside from all of the obvious reasons, was sharing some of Lily's story reminded me of what a precious miracle she is and what a privilege it is for me to be her mommy. I'm hoping other parents go through this as well but it's easy to forget some of the miracles when your child is constantly acting up, testing boundaries, etc. You don't wish you had made a different choice in being a parent but you definitely feel that Bill Cosby "I brought you into this world and I can take you out..." kind of an attitude from time to time when things are rough. I felt like I was given a gift on Tuesday of being reminded of the miracle of being a mom and if that's the only thing that comes out of that, I'll be forever grateful.

Digging out of the boxes...

2009-06-09T08:18:00.003-06:00

Well we are slowly but surely digging out of all of the boxes. I have to say that I'd forgotten how utterly exhausting it is to move and I'm kinda glad I forgot otherwise I might not have obeyed God when He led us! :-) Lily & I are slowly trying to get into some new routines and figure out our new schedules. I have to say that overall, we really LOVE our new location. It's much more peaceful and the people even seem a little nicer out here. Go figure! :-)

While we wait to see if this short sale goes through, God continues to remind me that He is our protector, our healer and our restorer. I have to depend on Him daily to even get out of bed, let alone get boxes unpacked, play w/my precious daughter - all of those things take extra effort because of how wiped out I am. Praise God that He doesn't let us go through anything alone. We felt forsaken by much of our church & small group and yet God was and is still here. Praise Him for that! Praise Him for leading us to a place of peace and I believe ultimately, restoration.

Adoption-wise, we just got our extensions back from U.S Immigration which is great! Now we basically just wait for "the call!" We'll start applying again for grants now that we're getting settled but for the most part, we are now waiting. June 20th will be exactly 1 year since we entered the Waiting Child program and it still looks like we could hear something any day! What's also amazing to me is to see how God is preparing Lily to be a big sister. She prays for Jasmine every day and talks all the time about going to pick up her sister. It's so cool to see God working in your child's heart and life! What an amazing facet of parenthood that I never really thought about before.

I've also FINALLY heard back from our former foster daughter and it sounds like things have settled down at her house for now. PRAISE GOD that she's safe! I was so relieved to hear back from her - we talked for about an hour! We're going to try and have her come and stay w/us some weekend soon (if it's ok w/her dad). She's trying to get a job (hard to believe she's 15 already!) and is trying to stay out of trouble. I made it clear to her that no matter how she behaves (although she needs to own up to her part) it's NEVER EVER ok for anyone to hit her. I guess the social worker told her and her teacher that unless bruises are left, there's nothing they can do to help her. Nice! I understand that from a perspective of not wanting to un-justly punish a parent however when a family already has a history of violence, it seems to me that allegations should be taken more seriously. The good news is at least for now, she is safe. I'm planning on keeping more closely in touch with her and appreciate your prayers on her behalf as well!

I'm still planning on uploading some pics of the house, hopefully soon. Thanks so much for all of your prayers for us! Please continue to pray for our healing and restoration as well as provision for our upcoming adoption. Pray for me as I work daily on forgiving and letting go. I'll try and update you all soon!

We're in our new home!

2009-05-29T16:23:00.004-06:00

Hi everyone! Thanks so much for your prayers as we have made it through our move (barely) and are now in our new home! Yea God! This has been one of the roughest weeks for us yet so we greatly appreciate all of your prayers on our behalf! I'll try to post pics soon of our new place. We "e-vited" a number of friends to come help us move on Memorial Day but only 3 friends from church and our retired neighbors showed up. We were extremely happy to have those awesome people show up but heartbroken because our entire small group blew us off. All but 1 didn't even respond. Thank so much to Kim, Don, Erin, Jack & Phyllis! You guys rock! We muddled through the day and ended up having to additionally rent a moving truck on top of the 2 pods! (And we had sold and donated a lot of items prior to our move!) Yikes - it's amazing how much stuff we accumulated in our last 7 1/2 years! We were packing that truck w/our 2 incredible neighbors until 2:30 on the day of closing but praise be to God, we finished before closing on Wednesday, with the house nice and clean to boot! Closing went really well and we were able to chat w/the new owners who were very nice this time! Thanks again to God for that! :-)

Yesterday, we moved into our new place and this time decided to hire 2 movers to help us as most people work during the week and that turned out to be a great move! Between my sister, brother-in-law and the 2 movers and us, we were able to get everything moved in by 1:30 yesterday! In the midst of all of this, one of our cars broke down and Jim got in a minor accident in the moving truck. Holy cow - what a week! But we are all safe and sound in our new place and thanking God for His hand in every single detail. We are additionally thankful to all of you for your prayers and your support. We will try and update you soon with something more than moving stuff!

3 days and counting!!!

2009-05-22T17:00:00.003-06:00

Wow - I forgot how much I hate moving! Hi everyone! We are in the midst of getting packed up and getting ready for Monday's move into our pods. I'd be totally overwhelmed if I didn't make a list of which rooms we're packing on which days! Completely anal, I know but it's really helping us take things one step at a time. I'm just so incredibly thankful for God's hand in this whole process and for His strength right now as we could not do this without Him! Everything is going much more smoothly w/our buyer since our realtor let their realtor have it for trying to change things around last minute. He advised them of our back up offer and that has kept them extremely quiet since the inspection! :-) Yea God for back up offers! Even though we weren't able to take it, it's really helped to keep this buyer in line so we're extremely thankful!

In the meantime, Lily finished her last day of preschool at Chipeta yesterday with a picnic in the rain...sort of. It was raining but fortunately the park had a pavilion so we were fine. I've been so impressed w/this preschool and I am sad that we won't be able to attend next year because we'll be in a different district. God has really used them in Lily's life and as a result between the preschool and her therapies, Lily is completely CAUGHT UP!!!!! Last week, she graduated from P.T. and a week from Monday, she'll be graduating from Speech! I'm so excited for her and yet a little sad as these wonderful people have been a part of our lives for the last 3 years! Wow - yet another thing we are thankful to God for!

Well - this may be my last post until after we move so in the meantime, I just wanted to thank you all for your prayers for us. We are exhausted but excited about our mini "vacation" (ok - we're not going anywhere but we'll be staying in a hotel while we wait for our closing - still, it'll be a break.) and are looking forward to finally unwinding and unpacking in our new home! We'll post pics soon! Feel free to email me @ racewalkn@juno.com if you want our new address. Our phone #'s will all stay the same. Luv you all and we'll talk to you soon!

6 days & counting!

2009-05-19T18:16:00.003-06:00

Hi everyone! It feels like forever since I've last posted but I guess it's only been a few days. We are about 6 days away from completely moving out of our house and into our pods! We decided to go the pods route instead of a moving truck because we didn't know if we would have enough help. This gives us the flexibility of moving stuff into the pods over a week or so and as a result, the pressure is off for having volunteers. Our closing is now the evening of the 27th (1 week from tomorrow!) and we've been trying to kick it into high gear. Because of the flaky-ness of this buyer, we've literally had to wait until the last minute before packing & changing addresses for the new house. I can't tell you how much we are all longing to just get packed up and settled in the new place! We are both so incredibly tired - please continue to pray for us as we both feel so overwhelmed w/all that needs to be done.

I don't have any news regarding our former foster daughter. She had told me she would call me back last Thursday after school and I did not hear from her. Please continue to pray for her and especially for the DHS caseworkers who are supposedly investigating. Unfortunately for the children here, our county is seriously one of the worst in the state as far as the services go. I've spoken w/the caseworker who is investigating and am trying to follow up, w/out being too annoying, to let her know that I take our foster daughter's charges very seriously and am concerned for her. Please pray that they will take her seriously and for her safety!

No news yet on our China adoption. We just completed updating our fingerprints for our 1-I7I and continue to wait. We're still thinking we'll hear something the middle of June but it really could be any day. I was listening to some worship music yesterday while walking and was brought to tears when I started to imagine what it will feel like to get "the call." I wonder all the time if Jasmine is being loved and cared for or if she's just one of many in the orphanage. I pray that God or His angels are whispering to her to hang on 'cause she has a mommy & daddy & sister who love her very much...almost as much as Jesus loves her. We pray for her every night and every night Lily prays for Jasmine to "know much how I love her." I imagine what it will be like to hold her for the first time and what it will be like to have 2 precious girls playing together at last. It will be so hard but we can't wait!

Thanks again - all 2 or 3 of you that read this blog (ha!) for all of your prayers and encouragement! We love you and we'll keep you posted!

Please pray....

2009-05-13T20:47:00.003-06:00

Hi everyone! Please say a prayer for our former foster child who called tonight. We haven't spoken w/her in about 2 years and it looks like she's being abused again by her parents. We've reported this to the appropriate authorities and have given her our #'s in case things escalate but please pray for her safety! We are hoping that DHS will intervene quickly and get her to safety. Depending on how things work out, we may become her foster parents again so please pray for wisdom and direction for us as well. Thank you and we will keep you all posted!

Latest and greatest...

2009-05-13T16:34:00.003-06:00

Hi everyone! Well, we're still waiting to see if our 1st buyer is going to stick w/us. They had a contractor come out today to give them a bid and they're now aware that these are pretty minor fixes but apparently the guy is still balking. We have until Friday to strike a deal and if there's no deal by the close of business, we are done with buyer #1! And get this! We had a request for a showing today that we turned down because we're wiped out. Turns out they were going to make an offer as well! That God, what a kidder! So, our realtor will keep them posted just in case something happens w/our first 2 buyers! I LOVE it. When God opens the floodgates, He really opens the floodgates, doesn't He?!

So, in the meantime, we wait. Story of our lives right now. ;-) No new news on the adoption front. We still could hear any day but we're hoping we'll be settled in the new place before that happens.

I do have a new prayer request regarding Lily - well 2 actually. The first is please pray for peace for her as we begin to pack up and get ready to move. Yesterday, she had a really bad day at school in terms of acting out and being very whiny. I sat her down and began asking her why and come to find out that she was afraid that "mommy and daddy would leave her." It BROKE my heart that my precious girl was worried about us ditching her somewhere! We have been talking w/her about this move for almost 9 months now but she saw 4 file boxes yesterday when she woke up and was afraid we were leaving her. I reassured her that we are a forever family and that we are not leaving her. She's been doing better since then and we're keeping an eye on things but we'd greatly appreciate your prayers for her as we get ready to move. The second is that we can find a quality preschool program for her after we move. She's on a waiting list for the district but it's not likely that she'll get in this year and we desperately need to keep her progressing. She's close to being discharged from her last 2 therapies and we want to make sure that she keeps moving forward in her development.

Well...the saga continues at the Young house but we sure do appreciate all of your prayers and are thankful that God continues to be our protector. We love you all and we'll keep you posted!

House updates....

2009-05-11T17:24:00.002-06:00

Hi everyone! We got all of our signatures back from the sellers we're trying to buy from so it looks like everything is lined up on that end! Now we wait to see what happens with these 2 buyers of ours. We did get the inspection report and the items that our buyer wants fixed. The inspection was actually really good - mostly very minor items as we thought. Regardless of that fact, we will not be fixing anything for this first buyer because of the incredibly low price that they got our home for. We'll be signing the paperwork to that fact and hopefully we'll learn very quickly if they're going to stick with us or go elsewhere. We're having a contractor come tonight and take a look at the list to give us a bid for the items requested by our buyer. In the event that they bow out, we'll be able to quickly get those items fixed for our back up buyer. Either way, we are trusting God to work things out to completion with one of these buyers and feel incredibly grateful for His presence and leading during this process. We are continually thankful for all of your prayers as well! We have all managed to fight off whatever we were coming down with so we're extremely grateful for God keeping us healthy during this time.

We will keep you all posted and please continue to pray for God's will for the selling of our house and the details that need to come together.

Happy Mother's Day!

2009-05-10T19:24:00.005-06:00

Hi everyone! Happy Mother's Day to all of you moms out there! I was thinking about how awesome it is that God came up with this whole plan of adoption! Once again, it's only because God loved us first that we even know what real LOVE is. He showed us what adoption is really like by giving us the opportunity to become His kids forever! He knew before He even created us that there would be precious children who needed forever families and knew that there would be mommies and daddies who couldn't have kids the traditional way. And He put us together before the beginning of time. I absolutely LOVE how God is in the tiniest of details and I have to say that after going through what we've just been through and seeing His amazing provision, I'll never again believe that God doesn't care about the smallest details of our lives. How amazing that the God of the universe cares about the tiny things in our lives as well as the big ones! I think that our house is a tiny detail compared to Jasmine & Lily and yet God is continuing to work things out for us to buy this house that will make a huge difference in our budget and possibly help us in our adoption. I LOVE that God cares enough about us to affect these tiny areas as well as the big ones. I can't wait to see how He brings Jasmine home to us! I also can't wait to see what He does in our family as a result of taking a high maintenance home out of the equation so that we can have quality time with each other and Him together!

As a mom, today I've just been reminded of the importance of my calling to love my kids and raise them to love Jesus. And to not just teach with my words but with my life just as Jesus taught through His life. I feel so incredibly thankful that God has allowed me to be a mom through the amazing journey called "Adoption."

We have a house?

2009-05-08T19:55:00.003-06:00

Hi everyone! Thanks so much for your continued prayers for us! It looks like we may have a house! We're trying to buy a short sale in Meridian Ranch and they've accepted our counter-offer. The best part is that we will be able to move in after closing on our house here and live there until the short sale is approved. Yea God! This means we won't have to look for temporary housing plus moving twice which is HUGE for us! We're so wiped out from this whole thing so we're extremely grateful that God was able to work out an option that won't uproot us multiple times.

In the meantime, we're continuing to pray and trust God for our adoption costs as we won't have any money from the sale of our home to go towards our adoption. We know, without any doubt, that God led us to sell our house at the time we were led so we are trusting Him that He has other plans to provide for our adoption. In the meantime, we continue to wait until the day that we get "the call." We've just finished the process of extending our immigration "stuff" and just got our application to get our 2nd set of fingerprints done.

We can't thank you all enough for all of your prayers and support! This has been one of the most draining, exhausting and discouraging times we've ever gone through but we're grateful that God has walked this with us despite how things felt from time to time. We are completely dependent on Him to be our protector & strength and to restore us back to health physically, emotionally, mentally & spiritually. We'll continue to keep you updated as we get ready to move to our new house and new location as well as updates on Jasmine.

The latest and greatest...

2009-05-05T16:20:00.003-06:00

Hi everyone! Thanks so much for all of your prayers! We have been extremely grateful to feel God's hand guiding us thru every step of this current process! The latest is that our 2nd buyer signed the agreement to be our back up buyer so that is a big "Yea God!" This will not only strengthen our position with the first buyer AND give us another option should the 1st buyer fall out but additionally it gives us strength as we go to place an offer on another house. Thank you God!

In the meantime, we have been looking furiously for options for our family to move into. The cool thing is that God has allowed many of these options to NOT be viable so we have been clearly led in the direction we're headed. We are going to be placing an offer today on a house in Meridian Ranch area (N.East part of town in Falcon). The only problem is that this is a short sale. For those of you who don't know, a short sale is when a buyer gets the bank to take less than what is owed on their house in order to avoid foreclosure. In this particular case, the owner is trying to pay the bank back for the difference in what the house sells for (very unusual - most just walk and take the ding on their credit) and what is owed. In any case, the bank has to approve the short sale and that can take 60-90 days. This means that we'll need to find temporary housing for that time frame. The house is currently vacant and we are praying that the owner will allow us to rent the house from him until the short sale is complete. Either way, we're praying that if this is the house God has for us, we'll be able to come to an affordable agreement and that God will provide affordable temporary housing for us in the interim (pref. the house itself).

Tomorrow is our inspection so please be praying for that! Hopefully everything should go smoothly but it'll be good to have that over with and see what the inspector comes up with that we might have missed. We're both curious to see how the 1st buyer handles this particular part of the sale but are trusting God to have His buyer (whomever that is) see this thru to completion.

Wow - what an adventure this has been! Ups and downs, crying and throwing up, exhilaration and fear. Our journey with God has NEVER been boring! In all of this, we are incredibly thankful that despite how we've felt from time to time, God has never left us and never forsaken us. Thanks to all of you for your prayers and encouragement and we will keep you posted on this next part of our journey!

And the winner is...

2009-05-03T20:35:00.003-06:00

1st buyer. Hi everyone! Well, we met w/our realtor, Dan, yesterday and apparently ReMax had already deposited their earnest check which implies contract. So we're kinda stuck dealing w/the 1st buyer. But the 2nd buyer is going to become our 1st back up offer, should the original buyer back out for any reason. We're also going to not tell the 1st buyer that we have a back up offer on the table. Should he try to get us to pay for anything come inspection time, it'll give us some leverage to say "no" which could also make him walk, in which case we can accept the back up offer. So, the initial outcome was disappointing, but we also feel that this will enable us to not have to worry about what this guy might try to pull come inspection time. That part is great!

In the meantime, we've begun the mad search for a house! Thanks to my sister keeping Lily, we were able to go to about 6-8 houses yesterday and Lily was able to play with her cousin. We've narrowed down our search to 3 houses. I'm going to look at the last 2 tomorrow and hopefully, if we continue to feel peace, we'll place an offer sometime in the next few days! Please continue to pray for God's wisdom for us in this search and His leading to where He wants us as well His hand on getting the best possible price we can. Praise for His making things clearer to us and for some MUCH needed rest last night! Thanks, as always, for your prayers and we'll keep you all posted!

WOW...

2009-05-02T07:52:00.004-06:00

Hi everyone! Ok...WOW! We need your prayers today as we just got a little twist on everything. Last night our realtor called us and apparently we have a 2nd offer! Someone came earlier this week, who hadn't given feedback on the house, wants to buy the house AND it's for $7K more than this first couple. We are absolutely dumbfounded and need your prayers for wisdom and discernment as we try and figure out how to procede. The kicker is that we have not yet signed the docs for the counter offer but we did give a verbal "ok." We want to make sure that our integrity and character are not in question as well as check the legal aspects of either going with the other offer or going back to our 1st buyer and asking them to match this one. The problem for both of us is $7K is 3/4 of our remaining adoption costs. This really would be SOOOOO huge for us so please pray that God would make HIS path crystal clear to us today. Our realtor is going to be meeting w/his managing broker this a.m. to discuss all of the aspects of this because there do seem to be a number of gray areas here and we all want to make sure we are above reproach on how we handle things or IF we handle things differently. That God...what a kidder! Here's the other fun part - we have someone coming today for a 2nd showing so there's a possibility of maybe even getting a 3rd offer!

Besides the monetary issue, the main reason we're praying about this is because once the 1st buyer started playing games/hardball/whatever you want to call it, I started to have a lack of peace but I attributed that to panic. Now, I'm not sure if maybe God was trying to tell us to let them walk. So needless to say, we desperately need God's wisdom here and are absolutely DEPENDING on Him to be our defender and protector and that He will make His path clear in all of this. Our hope is in Him and we feel incredibly humbled and thankful to have His presence in our lives.

Thanks, everyone, for all of your prayers and stay tuned!!!

We might be under contract??

2009-04-30T19:35:00.003-06:00

Hi everyone! Thank you for your prayers. Today has been a TOUGH day. Our potential buyers have been totally balking and nit picking but earlier this evening, they've given their verbal "ok" to our counter offer. (That after what felt like 500 phone calls back and forth to nail this down.) We feel like we've given the house away but we're trusting that since God led us to do this IN this specific way, He's got a plan for us on the other side. The buyers supposed to be signing docs tonight so we'll hopefully have everything tied up tonight or tomorrow. Praise God as this all goes thru!

Please continue to pray for our health and especially pray for a miracle for us being able to find something in our new price range. Scary! But our God is a big God! We'll keep you all posted!

Keep on praying....

2009-04-30T06:36:00.003-06:00

No real news yet, everyone, so please continue to pray that God's will be done in the possible sale of our house! The buyers are sleeping on our counter offer. They wanted to counter our counter but when our agent explained that we are at our absolute bottom, they decided to wait and make a decision sometime today. Their agent and ours both feel like they're getting a phenomenal deal (which they are) and both are encouraging them to take it. We're also praying for that but feeling peaceful that one way or another God will bring us a buyer. Thanks to our families and friends for their amazing prayers as we have felt so incredibly peaceful, despite the low offer, that we're on the right track and felt God's hand guiding us thru this process. Yea God!

Additionally, if you all can be praying for our health - we're all 3 fighting off colds 'cause we're all just run down from this. Please pray that we'll be able to stay healthy and that hopefully this stress will be over and we'll be off and hunting for a home for us soon! Stay tuned and hope you all are doing well!

We might have a buyer!!!

2009-04-29T14:47:00.005-06:00

Hi everyone! So just a quickie update - we rec'd an offer on our house late last night!!! We're not quite celebrating yet as they came in way low and we've already slashed our price. We're in the process of countering that offer today and hopefully, if all continues to go well, we'll be under contract in the next day or so! The amazing thing in all of this is that we both feel at peace (exhausted but peaceful) despite the low offer. In the meantime, since we slashed our price, we've had a bunch of showings and previews so overall we've felt encouraged and more importantly...affirmed that we are on the path that God wants us to be on. We will definitely keep you all posted and appreciate your continued prayers over this process. If we do get under contract, we'll be quickly hopping into "house-hunting" mode and would appreciate your prayers for a miracle in finding a house that we can afford and that is newer and therefore less maintenance than our current house.

Thanks everyone and we'll talk to you soon!